David Roberts recently wrote a short piece entitled Exodus President Alan Chambers is Clear About Coulter Comment. David praised and thanked Alan Chambers for making the unambiguous comment regarding Ann Coulter’s use of the pejorative faggot:
Used in any context, this hurtful word is used to demean an individual who is valuable to God. There is nothing to be gained by denigrating others with crude slurs. In doing so, we disgrace ourselves and discredit the truths we seek to publicly elevate.
Wow: “[N]othing to be gained by denigrating others with crude slurs.” That’s a powerful statement.
I wish Alan Chambers’ idea of loving the LGBT neighbor next door by treating them with respect would be embraced by other conservative Christian/ex-gay affirming organizations, especially when it comes to transgender people like me.
An example of not taking Chambers’ and Exodus International’s cautions against verbal slurs to heart include a recent piece in The Record, the online publication of the Christian Civic League of Maine (CCLM). The piece by Mike Hein — All My Tranny Children — begins by using tranny as a slur in the article’s header. He then goes on in the article to state:
Maine Teacher Makes Queer Television History
Maine’s most famous transgendered man, Jennifer Finney Boylan, is set to make daytime network television history this week, and the radical homosexual Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) organization praises ABC Television for making “the unfamiliar [transgendered men and women] familiar.”
Starring as himself in ABC’s daytime soap opera, All My Children, Boylan (formerly James Boylan) and five other transgendered adults play a transgendered support group. The group coach ‘Zoe,’ a young female character played by a Jeffrey Carlson. The now-female ‘Zoe’ character is involved in a lesbian relationship with ‘Bianca,’ another female character on the show. Boylan is the transgendered support group leader…
…Boylan remains married to his wife despite having taken on a female persona in 2001 while still in his early 30s and despite having young sons. He mentions his experiences while taping the All My Children episode recently in his March 4 Kennebec Journal column “There from Here.” “I asked my boys and my spouse if they had any interest in coming down to the set the next day to watch me film my scenes,” writes Boylan. “My son Zach wrinkled his nose.”
As one can see, Mike Hein not only uses tranny as a slur, he sedulously points out Boylan’s former male name. And even though Boylan has had sex reassignment surgery, Hein makes a point of frequently and only using male pronouns to refer to Boylan.
And further, Hein lists Jennifer Boylan’s AOL email address in a part of the article I didn’t excerpt for this piece — which if Hein thought about for just a moment he’d realize that some readers of The Record will likely send Boylan harassing emails because he provided them her e-address.
It’s pretty clear reading the piece: Hein’s (and the CCLM’s) language is intentionally demeaning to Boylan and other transgender people.
If this were an isolated incident by one ex-gay affirming organization, it would bother me, but it wouldn’t irritate me. However, the Traditional Values Coalition and NARTH have both referred to transgender women as “she/males.” And, Peter LaBarbera or Americans For Truth About Homosexuality referred to me personally as “Mr. Sandeen” and as a “transvestite.”
Exodus International has a good history of condemning demeaning behavior and verbal slurs. For example, Exodus, when NARTH’s Berger made comments regarding the shaming of gender fluid youth, stated:
So many of us as former homosexuals know, firsthand, that public or private humiliation can serve no beneficial purpose. We must demonstrate compassion and honor the dignity and worth of each person.
It’s pretty clear that Exodus International, while not having said it directly in their previous statements, would find use of anti-transgender slurs and pejoratives as disgraceful as the use of anti-gay slurs and pejoratives.
It’s a little less clear if they would condemn other ways of directly insulting transgender people — such as calling transwomen “Mr. XXXXXX”, or only referring to transwomen by male pronouns. One could make an argument that they might believe referring to transwomen by male pronouns to be a compassionate response to gender confusion.
With regards to using male pronouns for transwomen, I’ve received a few personal responses from readers who’ve read The Record‘s article on Jennifer Boylan. Two excerpts:
(To Mike Hein:) I don’t wish to offend you or to be critical of you but your references to Jennifer Boylan and your use of the male pronouns “he” and “his” when speaking of Ms Boylan is very uneducated of you. If you did it simply to be impolite and annoying, then you succeeded in your goal.
I find it totally distasteful that the author of this article, a Mr. Mike Hein goes out of his way to use the wrong gender markers when mentioning Ms. Boylan in his story. This type of writing does nothing but further the cause of bigotry and hatred we have to fight every day of our lives.
I would hope that in the future Exodus International publicly condemns use of anti-transgender pejoratives as it has with anti-gay pejoratives. Given the statements by transgender women above, I would also hope that Exodus International will also counsel conservative Christian/ex-gay affirming organizations to refrain from using the pronouns and honorifics related to the natal sexes of individual transpeople (i.e. not calling a transwoman “he”; not using the honorific “Mr.” for a transwoman, etc.).
Transpeople aren’t going to respect ex-gay or ex-gay affirming organizations when they see themselves repeatedly spoken of in intentionally disrespectful terms by them. Alan Chambers and Exodus International have been pleasingly consistent in their condemnation of anti-gay slurs and pejoratives — I wish that mindset would be adopted by other Christian conservative/ex-gay affirming organizations regarding anti-transgender slurs and pejoratives.
Amazing how people can employ pronouns as weapons. The sad thing is that I hear the same sort of pronoun violence among gay men when talking about and to trans people.
Many of us gay men have not sorted out our issues with gender, and while sustaining homophobic attacks from the straight world, we can turn around and engage in transphobic behavior in the form of jokes, sneers or worse. Who we despise and ridicule often reveals our own poverty.
I’ve found it exceedingly easy to offend hypocrites, and thus shake them from their stoic perches.
It just takes a little bit of truth to power, and the courage to be unpopular.
Anyone, who preys upon people’s fear and prejudices, utilizing them as a political tool, for a discriminatory agenda, abandoning any humanistic approach toward Diversity Sensitivity, Understanding, & the Respect of others, apparently lack common sense, and embrace, a dictatorial, arrogant, & virulent mentality.
~Mekah Gordon, PhD, L. E.
Somewhere in the ‘ethic’ of scripture is the notion of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” … so just what is it that these pseudo christians are asking for – to be marginalized, fired and ostracized?
You think it is bad now having to live with GID (Gender Identity Dysphoria” Try living through the 1930’s, 40s’ and 50s. It was not only against the law in most states to go in public as a woman but if arrested and sentenced to up to a year in the county jails we were also set upon to service those so called straight inmates as their women. It didn’t matter if we were not homosexual we were soon one. Many of us took our own lives because we couldn’t stand the humiliation others were beaten to death out of hatred.
If we weren’t jailed then we were dubbed as insane and put into mental hospitals where we were subject to the same fate as those locked in the prisons. That was my fate and I carry the scars from it.
It is getting so much better for those of us that suffer from Gender Dysphoria. They can no longer put us in jail or mental institutions for being different. We have come a long way but we still have a long way to go. So when some one calls you a “Faggot, queer, homo, etc.” it’s coming from some one to stupid to get out of their own way and should be ignored.
I have trans friends that I love and one I’ve known through the entire transition.
I saw Ms. Boylan on Oprah and wanted to read her book. In my observance….one can see clearly what the real issue is the bigger society has with those who transition, especially MTF.
Misogyny.
Educated, highly skilled trans folks all of a sudden lose their credentials, experience and personality traits that made them attractive to their family and colleagues with becoming the opposite gender?
And if their professions are NON gender specific, what’s the problem?
One can make an observation of one’s own that gender really isn’t so rigid, ESPECIALLY in the area of personality and character traits.
We are NOT our private parts, nor do such things ( nor their size) determine intelligence, competence or compassion or ability to assume tasks or responsibilities.
When it comes to issues of mental health and individual accountability, there is a big difference between a person having the talent and competence to function so highly in the world.
And the obvious issues of mental illness where function is compromised or eventually impossible.
What’s frustrating me, is that the bigoted, or prejudiced…resent it when this aspect of themselves is pointed out correctly.
And the people in positions to guide on ethical or moral issues, refuse to get THAT right and help others understand the transgendered better.
We’re in an exciting time in human existence, when the transgendered have representatives who ARE so smart, outgoing and can articulate the needs of the community so well.
And I think the moral thing to do, is for those ignorant and fearful about transfolks, is to hush up and LISTEN.
Learning something, and wanting to….what’s the HARM?!
I think a good many gay men do not understand transexuals. I don’t think calling them by their former pronoun is as much a slur as a lack of understanding. I was in a chat room with a trans woman and a number of gay friends. One of my friends implored upon this woman that she should not get rid of her penis. He was adement that it would be a regretful mistake.
I have personally questioned her in great detail, not to be nosey but to seek understanding, because to be honest I don’t understand either.
We all need to educate ourselves and one another. Whether we are gay, straight, bi, or trans; asking questions does not hurt. Presuming the answers does.
Misuse of pronouns and honourifics is a way that people can really get to us. After one transitions, hearing the old name, the old pronouns, the old honourifics hurts! They know this, and they use it to vilify us, to make others hate us with equal passion. It’s not about affirming us. They really want us dead. To them, we are sinners beyond redemption, we are unholy abominations and must be wiped from the face of the Earth. That is their agenda. They claim we have an agenda to somehow corrupt people. All we want is to live our lives free, and pursue whatever happiness we can find, which is usually pretty damn little. Being transsexual sucks enough, we don’t need bigots trashing us, too.
I’ve been very fortunate. No one has ever deliberately used the wrong pronoun for me to hurt me. Sure, folks have made mistakes, and I had a bizarre conversation with my dad this morning on the telephone where he used “she” and “her” for me. But the guy is in his late 70s, I’m almost 50 and it’s only been in the last 8 years that I’ve done anything about addressing my GID. So I give him a break. He’s not doing it to be mean, or to make some kind of point. At least he’s still talking to me and letting me know he loves me. I do wonder how freaky it must be for him to be talking to this bearded, baritone guy and thinking of him as his daughter and “her.” Now, my mom calls me “he,” but she’s always been more flexible than him.
And my kids use the right pronoun, which leads to strange sentences (for people not living in my house) like, “My mom said he’d pick me up at five.” All my friends have shifted from the female to the male pronouns. And my husband of 20 years this June, who stuck with me through the hard times before and during transition, calls me his husband and uses the right pronoun. (Now, *his* transition, from being seen in the world as a straight man to being seen as a gay man, even though he’s in a relationship with the same person, is another story altogether. At least folks don’t have to mess around with his pronouns…)
Les
I tried to post on Hein’s little hate site a very respectful reply that it was only too easy to judge and express hatred towards those (trans) that he had never met or tried to understand.
His reply (e-mail addresses removed):
My reply:
He is not a nice man. And obviously has issues. Very closed minded and ignorant. CWA’s Bob Knight is similarly affected in regards to the transgendered.
Moderator Update (DR): the original email from Mike Hein was inserted as discussed in the next 3 comments.
Darren said:
We all need to educate ourselves and one another. Whether we are gay, straight, bi, or trans; asking questions does not hurt. Presuming the answers does.
Very true and I have learned a lot from patient Autumn 😉
SharonB,
I can appreciate your frustration, especially from the authors at CCLM, but I’m a bit uncomfortable about posting email correspondence, especially when what we see of the email to which you replied is just a description instead of actual copy. In any event, “eating stool” is not an appropriate comment for XGW, so please be careful in the future. Thanks.
David:
I understand your confusion here. In my original post, only the e-mail addresses are removed. It is not a description, it is quoted verbatim. It looks like the HTML malfunctioned when I posted th original. I will repost.
The mentioning of eating stool is not gratuitous. It is a response to his quote, where he states that making a friendship of transsexuals in order to understand them (as I was suggesting) was beneath him, just as eating excrement was beneath him.
When yahoo stops malfunctioning I will repost his email (sans his address) and this will be clear. It is relevant, because Hein and his attitude are the subject of Autumn’s article. I merely wanted to demonstrate how Hein replies to respectful suggestions.
Ah, well that is a bit different – sorry. What an incredibly evil thing for him to say. If you continue to have trouble, you can forward the relevant part to me at david@exgaywatch.com and I will update your original post.
I met Ms. Boylan last year. To think that someone would be so adamant in their demeaning of someone who has obviously gone through a great deal in order to find peace with herself… well, that’s just as revolting as it is immature.
One of my closest friends is transgender. Her site, http://www.susans.org, is one of the leading transgender support sites in the world. The kind of hate and ignorance that is directed toward people in the TG community actually surprasses that of what we in the GLBT communtiy deal with.
Something Ms. Boylan said really stuck with me. Gay teens have a suicide rate three times that of straight kids. And transgender kids have a suicide rate three or four times that of gay teens. We simply MUST support our TG friends and families.
In regards to the last few posts, I really do not know what to say about stools; but I do know the Bible mentions nothing about transsexuals being sexual sins. And it is very rude to tell a person she is confused when she is not. It is like accusing a person of eating ice cream when the person is drinking water. And who is he to tell transgenders and transsexuals what they need, as if all of us are Christians? Is he not judging and trying to play God? God decides our needs, not him. He is casting too many stones.
His choice of deleting SharonB’s response to the article, and his disagreement of people like us being potrayed as regular and normal, is proof enough that he is afraid that people would actually start to take notice of us as brilliant human beings capable of responding intelligently to his bigotry and not mentally sick and ‘confused’ as he tends to claim, and he fears people will know the truth about transsexuals and transgenders.
Anyway, just curious to know, the Bible did not mention the word ‘transsexual’ or ‘transgendered’; but as the word ‘homosexual’ only appeared in 1949 RSE; do you think it would be matter of time the two words appear in later versions? The English Bible translations seems to be getting further and further away from its Aramic root. I shudder to think what would happen if the word ‘transsexual’ is added by biased translators.
I gather from Hein’s response, particularly in using the word “Abomination,” that he is referencing Deut. 22:5
As we have discussed here in XGW, many Hebraic scholars reject his claim that the verse has anything to do with TG people.
Ref: https://www.beki.org/crossdress.html
cited in https://exgaywatch.com/2006/07/numerous-inaccu/
We have pretty well beat-to death that topic of OT interpretation, so it is probably best to go to the old XGW posting rather than dredge it up here, again.
Whatever happened to Christ’s New Covenant, wherein we are left with only one commandment? These “fundamentalist christians” aren’t Christian at all; they seek to enforce obsolete jewish laws (and wrongly interpreted at that) in the name of Christ!
Jesus is radically all-inclusive, He judged no-one (except the money changers in the temple) and He turned no-one away.
Perhaps we should put together a ministry to deliver those Bibles with Christ’s words in red to these poor, clueless, Christless “fundamentalists” so they can avoid confusion in the future.