After just a couple weeks on the air “straight talker” Stephen Bennett seems to be running out of things to say and so it now appears as if he’s resorting to making things up. Here are a few highlights from today’s show. (11.22.05 Real Audio / Windows Media)
(+7:35) Stephen: It was not a logical choice you made to be attracted to the opposite sex, god and his plan took it’s natural course and your heterosexual hormones kicked in as they should have. In a distorted way, the same is somewhat true with homosexuality, though it’s unnatural, it is not a logical choice one makes to be attracted to the same sex. But again, here’s the major difference, the same sex attraction develops unnaturally.
Heterosexual hormones? Frankly I’m at a loss for words. Stephen however has plenty more to say:
(+9:24) Stephen: Here are just a few of the common dynamics of a person who is struggling with same sex attraction, or who has identified themselves as gay or lesbian. Get ready to jot these down. Upwards of 75 percent of homosexual men have been molested or had a prepubescent sexual experience early on in their childhood. Upwards of 90 to 95 percent of homosexual men have had or have a broken or nonexistence relationship with their father. Especially one during the early developmental years . and most likely were or are closer with their mother, even thought they may have had friends who are boys, most likely many have had more friends who were girls, they were much safer. Upwards of 85 to 90 percent of females have been molested by a male very close to them.
Where did Stephen get these statistics? God only knows cos Stephen never says. Perhaps concerned listeners should email him and ask. Oh but there’s more:
(+19:35) Stephen: Homosexuality can stem from a death in the family, divorce, physical attributes such as being too tall, too short, heavy, etc… anything that makes you different from the rest of your same-sex peers.
Straightness hormones… Statistics without sources… Gayness caused by being too tall?
Now that’s what I call straight talkin!
This radio show is becoming more bizarre with each installment. In case you are reading this Mr. Bennett, which I hope you are, first of all, you do not speak for me, or the majority of gay people. Please also cite the source of your 95% of gay men with no father relationship. My father for one, would tear a strip off you for degrading our relationship. I suggest that he also take a look at a biochemistry textbook for the names of sex hormones, they are gender specific although are not orientation specific. Please define heterosexual hormones sir. Please explain what a life event or physical attribute has to do with being a homosexual. Some pretty far out stuff here. I am looking forward to Mr. Bennett posting here.
Upwards of 85 to 90 percent of females have been molested by a male very close to them.
I’m thoroughly confused by that statement. Does he mean to say that about ALL females, or just lesbians? And if the latter, why do females become gay after being molested by someone of the opposite sex, while for men it’s someone of the same sex? Any way you look at it, that’s a bizarre statement.
I’ve been hearing this “anything that makes you feel different” makes you gay theory more and more lately. I’m not sure if anyone has ever gone through childhood (certainly adolescence) without feeling that way at some point. However, wouldn’t the more logical assumption be that they feel different BECAUSE they are gay?
Well I am “gay” and I hate it. This illness and lets be frank here it is a illness despite the APA bowing to the so called “gay” rights movement causes nothing but anxiety and despair. It must be one of the biggest causes of depression, it has even caused me baldness and wrinkles! I wish doctors would treat this disorder seriously and start looking for a cure. I would love nothing more than to pop a pill and wake up the next day a normally sexually functioning human being! Those that accept this lifestyle as normal are just giving up and condemning themselves to a lifetime of misery and heartache. The more research that is done into the causes of this disorder, the more chance we have of a cure. Groups like NARTH should be applauded, the APA however has washed their hands of the “gay” problem and condemned its sufferers to a lifetime of misery. Shame on them!
Christopher. Gayness has caused you baldness and wrinkles? Come on now.
As for Stephen Bennett- sad to see that the truth is not an essential part of his ministry. I guess to him the end outweighs the means. I wonder if God would agree.
Christopher: There are a number of people on this board who are gay, happy and unashamed of our sexuality. I strongly disagree that being gay is an illness and this was correctly refuted back in 1973 when the APA finally removed homosexuality from its list of disorders. There are resources out there to help you deal with your issues. NARTH is not one of those resources and you should stay as far away from that group as possible. A lifetime of misery and heartache comes from self-imposed and society imposed shame,not being a homosexual. Also, I highly doubt your wrinkles and baldness come from being gay, that is age and genetics my friend. Best of luck in your journey but please get off to the right start and deal with your shame issues first and foremost.
Ummm… sure, Christopher. (BTW, I’m not suggesting Stephen Bennett wrote that remark, but SB is the only other person I’ve encountered who always puts the word ‘gay’ in quotes.)
I took notes at an SB evangelistic event in Feb., 2004, and wrote down the same statistics quoted above re: childhood molestation of gay men and lesbian women. I immediately emailed Stephen Bennett for documentation supporting those statistics. His response (after dodging in his first return email) was that it was based on [random] phone calls to the SBM office. I expressed my strong feelings about both that method of collecting data and the immorality of speaking it to his audiences, but I certainly didn’t expect him to retract or change the information. Now I know for sure that he hasn’t.
Christopher, I’m curious. Why are gay people neccesarily “condemning themselves to a lifetime of misery and heartache”?
Do you really believe there are no happy gay people in the world?
Not even Richard Simmons?!
Seriously. I don’t get it. Can you elaborate on this theory of yours? I think a lot of us would like to know where this idea of yours is coming from.
Re: “Those that accept this lifestyle as normal are just giving up and condemning themselves to a lifetime of misery and heartache”
I can’t speak to your experience or why you feel that way. But to suggest that the rest of us are “just giving up” is simply false, by any measure.
As for the misery and heartache, I was never more miserable than the time I spent in the closet. I’m afraid that you have no idea how much happier, relieved, relaxed, confident, outgoing, balanced, and healthier I am now that I am no longer trying to hide, change, or deny myself.
I don’t believe for a second that your misery and heartache is caused by your homosexuality. Instead, I would encourage you to take a closer look in how you choose to respond to it. That makes all the difference in the world.
I thought the straight hormones (see what happens when ID is taken seriously) thing was funny but when he started in with the “too tall” stuff all I could think of is that not only is the WNBA all Gay but this must mean all of the NBA is Gay too and what about Too Tall Jones from the Cowboys? He’s long been retired but he was called “Too Tall”. My Gaydar needs a tune up.
This guys funny, I hope his show stays on forever or at least he goes on to write for the Daily Show.
Christopher,
I hope you stay and consider having a discussion, instead of hitting this site and running.
Heterosexuals can be relationship challenged, broken, engage in risky sex and other behaviors and miserable too.
And THEIR orientation isn’t blamed for it.
Black people go through horrendous relationships and social issues, and their color isn’t blamed for it.
Women struggle within society for being what THEY are, but who would suggest that they shouldn’t be women?
When you can’t engage the discussion, and understand that gay or not…ANYONE can have the SAME issues, you’re clearly showing that you don’t have the brains, commitment to decency or courage…or stamina to fight the prejudice you’re conditioned to have.
Frankly, who the hell is Stephen Bennett?And “ex-gay” who refuses to provide any evidence he was gay.Someone with little knowledge, and I’d suggest little ability to learn, about sexuality.Someone in the pockets of religious loons. Actually he is one.And I’m supposed to bother with what he says?Christopher — you may be mighty pissed off with what life has drawn you. But nothing you mention resembles anything to our life, and it need not be yours. If there was a “pill” we would not take it. Why? Simple — gay, straight or whatever… irrelevant. We have found each other, and he may not be perfect but he’s perfect for me.You’re free, of course, to remain in whatever struggle you have with yourself.But you need not be.I hope you keep joining us here.
Christopher, I am a pre-op male to female transexual. I was in an opposite sex marriage and I dearly loved my wife. I would still be with her but she chose to leave. Now I have what you might consider a same sex relationship with a man who was a close friend for 30 years before we overcame our fear of social rejection and told each other we were same sex attracted and attracted to each other. I could easily choose to be in a socially accepted relationship with a woman but I choose to be with a man instead. My boyfriend is the warmest, most generous, and caring individual I know. This “gay” (socially unacceptable) relationship has only alleviated the misery and heartache I felt from groups like Narth pushing the idea that I should feel bad simply for being same sex attracted. This “gay” relationship of mine is the most wonderful thing in my life and it certainly is the equal of any opposite sex love I’ve ever had. In fact now I wish I could get rid of the attractions to women I still feel. Do you think Narth or Exodus would live up to their disingenuous rhetoric of “letting people decide for themselves to change their sexuality” and help me get rid of the unwanted opposite sex attractions I believe I was born with?
By the way, Christopher, I also think you’re a lying poser if not actually Stephen Bennett.
I’ve been thinking about the difference in how I’ve been treated in my search to learn more about ex gays or ex gay supporters.
This has been a years long pursuit, gang. I searched out attending group sessions at Living Waters and Desert Stream. I contacted, J. Nicolosi, who is local to my area.
I read books, searched the Net, contacted Exodus and local people who belong to it.
I found XGW while googling for more resources.
And of all the ex gays, and conversion supporters, NONE were forthcoming, open, friendly, or consistent with their information and wary of more deeper questioning. Indeed, they’d avoid it all together.
I would ask for the sources of their statistics and if the research was broad, comprehensive, over a long period of time, and if the researchers did it with a religious motive.
I would have THEIR books or that of others recommended to me. Most often I would ask about the historical context and motive behind coversion.
Connected my questioning with social necessity where the urgency was different from that of heterosexuals with the same issues they struggle with.
I would ask about the zone of comfort in the gay people who were part of the research and if the researchers were confident in the accuracy or truthfulness of their test subjects or the line of questioning to reach a conclusion given by the researchers.
I asked…but they didn’t exactly answer. In fact, there was a serious break between me asking and them answering.
Either my questions were ignored, or they became VERY hostile just because I asked.
As if I’d asked something prurient, stupid or beneath answering.
Or they gave me info on how to buy Christian music CD’s or more books.
Later on, I started to get frustrated and began to ask why they couldn’t just be straight with me?
Then the answers came in Biblical quotes.
Finally, I just couldn’t help telling them exactly what I thought of their tactics, or what they were doing.
But always in a civil tone.
You have witnessed what’s happened to me yourselves between DL Foster and W. Throckmorton.
Chad Thompson as well. He was only slightly better, but he devolved into an immature petulance eventually and quickly.
I’m not a religious person in the most common and formal sense. Being DECENT, and honest is a character trait that transcends beliefs or culture, gender or anything else.
I believe in decency, and that part of me was met with dishonesty, petulance, name calling and stonewalling…just for pursuing a serious study of conversion and what it means.
Perhaps if I had been treated with more honesty and intellectual engagment, things would be different.
So many conversion supporters claim that their mission is compassionate and that they are simply there for a person who chooses or wishes to change.
This rings hollow if they also support and push the very things that make being gay a risky, insecure, desparate or lonely prospect.
If anything, they sould support social structures that would make society at large ACCEPT gay people, then their claims that gay people freely choose or wish to be heterosexual…would be legitimate and logical.
It would REINFORCE and be the actual proof of their claims.
I am the kind of person that is naturally analytical, and this annoys conversion supporters.
How DARE I ask anything of or question them?
How DARE I make socio/political comparisons to other forms of conversion that didn’t respect genetic, biological or religious or cultural backgrounds?
How DARE I challenge people whose license came from ‘The Word of God’.
Conversion supporters insist on looking at their beliefs and opinions through a drinking straw.
The real world is bigger than that, and requires the ability to see things all at once in that bigger context.
Bigger minds, bigger hearts, bigger capacity for decency and fair play.
Conversion supporters are of small minds, small hearts, smallness that can only embrace select principles and facts….however hurtful and impractical they are in the bigger world.
And they can’t fill the world with a different idea, or change that’s forward. Only BACKWARD.
The only capacity that’s bigger in them, is self deception and self agrandizement.
This sounds very generalized, I know.
But the generalizations of conversion supporters is all they allow for themselves as well.
Nuance of philosophy, history, practical matters and decency are impossible with them.
I tried, and THEY failed me.
They left me no other choice but to draw this conclusion from their treatment of me, and others and also the mission that consumes them.
Christopher, am I the only one here that understood your satirical post? This is odd since I’m usually the last one who doesn’t know if something is a joke or not. :p
This isn’t the first time it happened. Everyone who posted a comment on this thread should read more attentively and realize that Christopher has already posted here.
Oh! Christopher! That was a cruel prank.
Funny, but cruel.
Also, I find your use of the term “wrinkles” insensitive to EXW’s mature readers.
Personally, I prefer to think of them as “character lines.”
No Xeno, you’re not the only one.But this is not The Onion. Gawd only knows who reads this, and in the absence of anything else people will reply assuming it’s genuine (regardless).Otherwise, what?
*slaps forehead!*
Can someone help me remove this hook, line and sinker from my jaw?
When the joke precisely mimics anti-gay religious right rhetoric its to be expected that people will not see it as a joke. Ha ha, funny…not. Its not possible to exagerate attitudes like “FOTF” or Stephen Bennett enough to make it entirely clear you are not one of them.
Christopher should hope to live long enough to grow wrinkles (or character lines).
I post here every so often and I’ll email gay-baiting email gems to Mike or Dan whenever I get them from the Traditional Values Coalition, but please know that the Christopher who posted above is not me. Long-time XGW posters may recognize the handle, and I don’t want any of you to be confused.
Besides, I have much better sentence structure and no wrinkle issues. 🙂
Signed, the original (and very gay) XGW Christopher
I’m sorry — I’m still stuck on the SB “heterosexual hormones” comment. I take synthetic estrogen — Now is that one one supposed to make me homosexual or heterosexual?
*Sigh* This is all so gosh darn confusing. 😉 Can I wonder aloud what the scientifical-like name is for the horemone that the “ex-gay gene” extrudes? 😛
I read Christopher’s remarks several times and decided it wasn’t satire – but am also certain his words are a front for something. My guess is that Christopher is a straight bigot posing as a gay man – OR an ex-gay associate/supporter of Stephen Bennett.
Here’s what I remember of my childhood with my father:
From as early as I can remember during football season we went to a local highschool game every Friday evening. Dad would take me along with him when he went golfing to let me caddy and keep score. In fact, just about anywhere Dad went, I’d tag along.
Occasionally, Dad would have me research some historical point for one of his sermons (yeah, I actually thought that was fun).
At some point (I must not have been very young then) we played backgammon in the evenings and weekends.
Of course there were times when Dad was busy and though he’d talk to you, you knew he wasn’t really paying attention (that’s when I would do the “Dad, can I…” stuff. He’d forget he said it was OK). But that was his “study time”
Dad wasn’t a sports playing, car fixing, kind of guy. My older brothers were, though, and I was often the youngest one in the tag football or softball games (I was allowed extra strikes).
When I was growing up the Dad was supposed to be the authority figure and the Mom was supposed to be nurturing so in some ways I probably was closer to my Mom. And there were Mom-type things I did with her too. But, thinking back, it certainly doesn’t seem to me that my relationship with my father was broken or non-existent.
I was never molested or sexually assaulted in any way as a kid. I had no sexual contact at all until I was in my 20’s. I was never the tall kid or the short kid or the fat kid or the skinny kid. So I guess I fall outside all of Bennett’s assumptions.
None of this is interesting to anyone but me.
What is interesting, however, is that my life experiences were not unique or atypical to any of my friends.
The antigay Christopher lives in Australia. (I googled his e-mail address, found a brief profile, and confirmed his location via IP lookup.)
Welcome, Christopher.
May I offer a short bit of advice? Happiness begins with taking full responsibility for one’s life. I didn’t fully absorb that lesson until my 30s. If you are unhappy, Christopher, then change your activities, social group, job, or whatever is making you unhappy. If you are depressed, doctors are already able and willing to help you treat it.
Looking for things to blame for your unhappiness, and telling yourself that you are a victim of something beyond your control, will not make you any happier.
It’s your life. You control it. Not Satan, and not God.
If there are specific behavioral or social issues in your life that you’re not sure how to control, then by all means let’s talk about them.
Comments like Christopher’s remind me of something I read years ago, about a problem sometimes experienced by people (usually men) in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction.
For years, their families have said to themselves, “Oh, we have these problems because Dad drinks.” Then one day, hallelujah, Dad gets sober, goes into recovery, cleans up his act and everybody’s happy.
For a while.
Then they realize, “Oh, c**p, we’ve still got problems, but _we can’t pin it on Dad drinking any more_.” Next thing you know – they’re trying to get Dad drinking again.
The parallel? Seriously unhappy gay men, who think they’re unhappy _because_ they’re gay, who go ‘ex-gay’, and everybody’s happy.
For a while.
They realize they’ve still got problems, still unhappy, etc. But they figure it out – the problem is that there are still desperately unhappy gays out there, and by God, we’ve got to help them! As long as they’re consumed with missionary ex-gay zeal, they can forget their own
problems.
Truly sad, when you think about it.
Christopher,
If you actually exist, I’m going to make a recommendation you probably don’t expect. Go join an ex-gay group.
I would normally recommend that you seek a legitimate therapyst to help you overcome your feelings of worthlessness and accept your orientation. But I don’t think you would accept anything they had to say and it probably would be a waste of time. But you might listen to an ex-gay counselor since they might agree with you on how awful being gay is.
Now the odds of your changing your orientation hover close to zero. But many people learn to deal with their other emotional issues in ex-gay groups and can come out of them as a healthy happy gay man. And I would guess that you have plenty of other issues to overcome.
Normally I wouldn’t recommend a group that encourages you to hate a significant aspect of yourself. But since you already hate yourself, I doubt this will impact you much.
All the best, and I hope you eventually become a healthier happier person. God knows there’s no need for another bitter queen.
ps. haven’t any of your gay friends (if you have any) told you to always use a good moisturizer? Also, you can really reduce balding by using Rogain and Propecia.
But then again, if you hate being gay, why try to be more attractive. Maybe being wrinked and bald can help you avoid “temptation” or “slipping”. You may also want to consider gaining a lot of weight and dressing badly.
“Upwards of 85 to 90 percent of females have been molested by a male very close to them.
I’m thoroughly confused by that statement. Does he mean to say that about ALL females, or just lesbians? And if the latter, why do females become gay after being molested by someone of the opposite sex, while for men it’s someone of the same sex? Any way you look at it, that’s a bizarre statement.”
Because lesbianism is based on a deep and abiding hatred of all males, silly! That’s why we also secretly want to be men, don’t you know anything? SCUM was only a trial run!!! Booga booga booga!!!!
Because lesbianism is based on a deep and abiding hatred of all males, silly!
Well silly me 😉
David
“Christopher, I am a pre-op male to female transexual….Now I have what you might consider a same sex relationship with a man”
Randi, are you bisexual? How did you switch from hetero pre-trans to homo post-trans?
Yes, I am bisexual. My switching from mates of one gender to another was more or less a matter of random chance. While a male my later to be ex-wife took a shine to me and I to her. After she ended our relationship I re-kindled a friendship with a high school male friend whom I had always felt was extra special but was afraid to reveal my same sex attractions to. I revealed I was same sex attracted to him, and he revealed he was same sex attracted to me. I didn’t act on that attraction to men for most of my life, but I remember thinking to myself, “if I’m ever with a guy it’ll have to be someone like him…”. It was a bizarre feeling at first after we got together – like we had known each other all our lives but yet had never really known each other. It was, and he is wonderful…Had Halle Berry come into my life first and said “lets do it” I’d probably be with a woman instead. Circumstance picked the alternating gender of my mates as much as me. I was and still am attracted to both sexes.
Trying to get in contact with Steve Bennett, I’m a cousin from Pa. It is wrong to have the same sex marrige. It say’s in the Bible that it’s wrong.
Elizabeth,
Thanks for dropping by. If you are having difficulty reaching Steven, you might try leaving a message on his website.
Might I also suggest that when quoting the Bible, you actually use the Bible as your source. There is not a single scripture in the Bible that mentions (even tangentially) same sex marriage. If you just come on here saying that “it say’s in the bible that it’s wrong”, it makes you look ill informed or just downright stupid.
I think you may be confusing sex and marriage. But there are no Biblican requrements that marriage must include sex. For example we have no idea if Solomon had sex with all 700 of his wives. What do you think, Elizabeth?
Do you think Solomon had sex with all 700 of his wives and all 300 of his concubines?