Readers may remember the incident from last October when Exodus member and therapist James Phelan “one-two drop kicked the hell out of” a fellow marathon runner. The other runner had objected to Phelan yelling about how he thought those cheering along the sidelines with pride flags were “pushing the gay agenda.” An alleged shove led to the drop kick response by Phelan. We were never able to get any third-party verification of the incident, but Phelan not only admitted to his actions, but bragged about them in a post on his blog.
XGW posted about this to call attention, not just to what we saw as an overly violent reaction, but to Phelan’s apparent glee in the telling of it. This did not seem proper for a professional therapist, particularly one who claimed a desire to “help” gay clients. Exodus President Alan Chambers responded in similar fashion, and shortly thereafter Phelan was removed from the Exodus referral list. Phelan was also allowed to resign from the anti-gay Transforming Congregations ministry over the same issue. He remains a member of the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) without interruption, and is certified by Richard Cohen’s International Healing Foundation (IHF) as a “sexual re-orientation coach.”
We have since learned that Chambers has invited Phelan back as a member of Exodus, presumably to once again receive referrals from the organization. Phelan explained in an email response to our query:
I was “suspended” by Alan Chambers because he did not like my comments in my blog back in Oct. These are when I posted about the marathon and he and Randy wrote in. My responses were, in his opinion, mean-spirited. As a result, later on, I did talk with them and agreed that I had said some mean things and apologized. At the same time, they (Randy, Alan, and Melissa Ingram- board chief) felt my blog was not in line with Exodus values. As a result, they asked me to wait some time before they would reinstate me to the member network. Through this time they did some monitoring and we did some telephone diaglouging. After the Exodus Leadership conference they spoke with me and said as of March 08 I was invited back to the network.
Phelan says he has not yet taken them up on their offer. It appears that Exodus executives, while distancing themselves from Phelan when his behavior was in the forefront, now have reason to want him back. For what it is worth, we suggest that Phelan pass up this invitation to return, and perhaps realize from recent events just how superficial and self-serving these entities can really be.
A bizarre move… But it seems we’ve been accustomed to Exodus’s actions not jibing with their words.
I say go for it Phelan, let Exodus know just how effective a supporter of Paul Cameron can be to their cause in garnering trust.
If not for you, then who?
JP must have forgotten his tennis racket at home that day and had to use his foot instead.
Seriously though, isn’t it a “Christian” principle to forgive? Why wouldn’t James be invited back after repenting? That doesn’t seem inconsistent to me. Isn’t most of the leadership in Exodus people who have repented of being gay? Isn’t being gay a much worse sin than drop kicking a person, or saying something mean on a blog?
Phelan apologized Chambers? Instead of the gay man he wished to beat up? Or gays who have been beaten up after being encouraged by humanvomits like Phelan?
Chambers’ and Thomas’ decision telss everything there is to know about hate group Exodus International. Anything goes as long as openly gay men and women, their femilies and relatiosnhips are hurt.
Phelan is a violence prone liar and thus a perfect person for Exodus referrals. Who is next? Referrals to Rev. Phelps for spiritual guidance?
Maybe Exodus does believe that beating hgays makes them more reluctant to be openly gay. After all, their true aim to stifle and silence gays and make our lives as miserable as possible.
Phelan is rotten but Chambers and Thomas are even more so.
Based on Mr. Chambers and other member’s recommendations, Exodus’ director of counselor’s network, Mike Rosebush, extended his delight to invite me once again be an Exodus Professional Counselor (EPC) in their referral network. At this time, I have not proceeded to rejoin. I am presently on summer break and not conducting networking business. I have promised David Roberts an update on any developments as they become available.
Most importantly, as I reported on Box Turtle today, my verbal actions at the time of the event were not right and the physical confrontation equally bull-headed. I have learned from this mistake and will not do it again. I do apologize to anyone offended by my actions, boastful post, and the several self-justifying posts that followed.
I have no problem with forgiving Phelan. I do have a problem with potential harm this forgiven therapist is still capable of. Even one comment reveals about Phelan’s character a sadistic desire to preform violence against gays. I’m glad he took back his comment, but how does he prove that his character is not still sadistic? What has Exodus done to investigate possible harm against gays done by Pheland using his position as their therapist as leverage?
For Exodus to invite him back can only mean Exodus:
*has taken necessary precautions
*cares about looking bad but not doing bad to gays
*is desperate for therapists
Compare: a white teacher in an all hispanic schools brags about drop kicking a hispanic runner in front of teachers and students. Does the school invite him back?
I wonder, WWJD(What would Jesus do) if the adulterer from the passage kept on sinning. WOuld he…
A) Tell her ‘go and sin no more’ over and over and over and over, and once shes dead to burn eternally?
B) Let her do whatever she wants with her body, and then burn eternally?
C) Take her eyes out, like the thief at the cross before she burns eternally?
D) Let His perfect law unravel and stone her the second time around?
I have the odd feeling its B with the earthly outcome of D.
Its ok Phelan, dont let anybody tell you that it was wrong. It does say in romans that you should kill gays. Beating them up is an attempt at obeying and one that God probably admires.
I only believe Phelan is sorry because he was pressured to do so. If not, im glad, one step out of the bible is one step towards humanity.
Jim, thank you for the apology.
It’s not in my place to judge whether it’s a “real” apology or not. But I’m trusting it is. I will never agree that your work is valid or valuable. But it’s a free country.
Have a good break. Maybe do some artwork while relaxing.
James,
I admire your courage and humility coming here and apologizing, living in the light can be tough. If you are willing to extend your vulnerability and honesty, I would like to know why you did and said the things you did? We all speculate about it, and honestly you seem homophobic to me. That doesn’t seem like a very good issue to have, especially for a therapist who is supposed to be helping gays (doesn’t matter what side of the fence you land on in this case, you are still working with gays). But maybe my read is all wrong. Will you tell us why you did what you did, and said what you said?
Bah–I’d say Phelan is like a lot of the “ex-gay” therapists–self-hating closet cases with serious anger issues.
Thanks for your comment, Ephilei, however I do not have a “sadistic desire to preform violence against gays.” In fact, the sexual orientation of the guy I was in a confrontation with was unknown. I actually assumed he was heterosexual. He was not even part of the group of gays under the banners. No worry, lots of people share this misconception.
Finally, no harm was done to patients in this process. But, I do thank you for your concerns. I’ll check out your bog when I get some time. Thanks for all your efforts. -Jim
Thanks Emily. Nice of you to suggest doing some art. In fact, I have been drawing some ocean life recently. My son has been taking an interest in this too and we have been sharing some time together in this. It’s proven to be a good bonding experience. Thanks for thinking of me. -jp
Paul,
The term “Homophobia”, having a narrow meaning (fear of homosexuals) seems to be a huge umbrella. I do not see myself under it, however. I normally do not openly confront gay gatherings and don’t plan on any in the future. I know of groups who do protest Pride parades, Gay Days at Disney, etc.. I never have and I don’t necessarily find confrontation fashionable. On this particular event, I was not even aware a group would be present. I quess I was taken by surprise. I have participated in marathons for over 10 years and this was the first time I witnessed a formalize gathering of gay–identified individuals. It was clear as they surrounded themselves by rainbow banners positioned along the race course. When I approached and passed them, I yelled over (because of the noice) that they were there to highlight themselves and not the runners. I saw their gathering as a selfish political endeavor. Right or wrong, I called them on it. Although technically I realize the rights of groups to assemble, affectly, it was not cohesive with me at the time. Considering that my adrenalin and dopamine levels were way up to begin with, I am sure that may have contributed to my impulsive action. Further, when I was physically confronted by a runner after I said what I said, the fight-flight standard arose, and in this case, my fight instinct took over. Maybe that was the military in me? Now that I have showered and cooled off, and after getting lots of feedback, I don’t think that was the best thing I ever done. I can’t take it back, but I can learn from it and will not do it again. If I don’t agree with something, I don’t have to resort to anger or confrontation. I am sure we have all made mistakes in our lives. The important thing is that we learn and grow from the mistakes and not repeat them. Hope this helps.
Jim,
I too appreciate that you apologize for your behavior. And I think that Christians are called to forgive.
I do however want to correct your understanding of the term “homophobia”. Words are more than their components or etymology. Just as hippopotomus means more than ‘river horse’ and agoraphobia means more than ‘fear of the marketplace’, so too does homophobia mean more than, as you put it, “fear of homosexuals”.
Merriam-Webster defines homophobia as
I’m sure that we can agree that you do support discriminaion against homosexuality or homosexuals. We may debate whether or not such discrimination is based on objectively rational positions, but that you favor policy based on orientation distinctions is irrefutable.
These positions are, by definition, homophobic.
However, just as someone can have racist policies without being themselves racist people, so too can individuals have homophobic policies without being homophobes.
We can only make such a claim if your positions are based on internal beliefs. It’s only if you start from an anti-gay position on every issue.
For example:
* If your approach to, say, gay soup is, “I’m against it” without even asking what gay soup might be, then you are a homophobe.
* If you oppose a political appointment just because the person is gay, you’re a homophobe.
* If you find any scriptural argument that is non-condemnatory to gays to be heretical even before you hear it, you’re a homophobe.
* If you think that every gathering of gay people cannot possibly be to support the marathon but only as a selfish political endeavor, you’re a homophobe.
* If you automatically oppose rights for gay people – any rights without regard to what they might address or what inequalities exist – you’re a homophobe.
* If your “love the sinner” never results in any action that the sinner might find to be loving but your “hate the sin” is readily obvious and results in real harm to people’s lives, then you’re a homophobe.
Now, of course, only you can tell what motivates your anti-gay ideals. The rest of us can only guess based on your actions.
Phelan not only admitted to his actions, but bragged about them in a post on his blog.
As an Orthodox Catholic I too believe in forgiveness, but I also believe in penance. When someone does something wrong, when someone causes harm or damage, it is not sufficient to say “I’m sorry.” If you cause an accident on the freeway, you don’t walk up to your victims and say, “I’m sorry. God’s forgiven me,” and then walk away from the wreck. And you don’t go around bragging about causing a wreck on the freeway.
On the contrary, you do everything in your power to make amends.
If Phelan does something to either make amends to the ones particularly involved or to the gay community at large, then I, and others, will know he is truly sorry for what he did and for bragging about it, and that he is willing to make amends.
Only God can read his heart, but we Christians can read his actions and his words.
Hi James,
Thank you for your reply, and again, your honesty.
I am pretty much on the same page as Tim is in my use of the word “homophobic.” I considered your use of the term “homosexual agenda” to be homophobic. It would be kind of like me yelling at the guy with the “John 3:16” poster at the baseball game that he has a Christian “agenda.” I could assume that he’s there to “highlight” himself, not the Yankees, that he was there for a “selfish” religious endeavor. Both our assumptions might indeed be correct, at least to some degree. That is, both parties are obviously trying to call attention to their particular cause. It was how you responded, not that you responded, that leaves me wondering. It’s your emotional response to the ‘technicality’ that you mention, “the rights of groups to assemble.” The fact that you said these things when you were surprised and your defenses were down, seems telling to me. That is, it was an honest expression of how you thought and felt. Frankly, the message I get from you is that in an ideal James Phelan world, living a gay life would be illegal?
.
Good thing Mr. Phelan is not a licensed therapist. Such behaviors would have resulted in a full investigation by the licensing board, multiple interviews with State investigators, several diagostic interviews with a psychologist and a full day of psych testing by a psychiatris, many phone calls, letters, etc. — just to keep his license, if he was that lucky. Here in California, he would not have been allowed to continue in practice. EXODUS is way too lenient. The public deserves better protection.
I can’t think of too many times in my life when being reactive has been “the best thing,” often there are regrets.
Creating a reconciliation process is perfectly acceptable and our later behavior either confirms or denies the validity of that reconciliation.
Exodus, Narth, James Phelan, Ex-gaywatch and David Blakeslee are imperfect institutions and people who can profit from public scrutiney. After the scrutiney comes the potential for growth and repair. Let’s see what happens.
Michael Bussee:
He may not be a licensed therapist, but he is a LCSW (licensed clinical social worker) according to his biography and site where you can order his books. Where is he licensed?
“It’s proven to be a good bonding experience”
Well i guess that 5% to turn out gay is corrected. Im glad.
“Michael Bussee:
“He may not be a licensed therapist, but he is a LCSW (licensed clinical social worker) according to his biography and site where you can order his books. Where is he licensed?”
Mmm.. ive always been confused about this, i was of the thinking that one could only be licensed to work with people’s personal problems(be it a psychologist, a therapist or a social worker, as i see no difference among them) if you upheld the ethics provided by the American Psychological Association. Which would, in essence, make everyone at gay rehab centers a violator of the ethics and ultimately would be unable to conduct the practices with the title of ‘licensed’. Maybe someone can clear this up.
Michael, you exaggerate. I am licensed in California, and Board action (besides following up on a complaint) requires a conviction. Phelan has not even been investigated. Regarding APA ethics, reparative therapy is NOT unethical unless it is done without informed consent. If it were unethical, Nicolosi would have been out of business a long time ago. He practices to this day in California.
So, you are taking responsibility for your action and not blaming anyone or anything else, right?
James Phelan,
I recomend a prayer of confession to you so that maybe you can understand more clearly how God forgives us of our sins.
I confess to almighty God,
and to you,
my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done,
and in what I have failed to do;
and I ask you,
my brothers and sisters,
to pray for me to the Lord our God.
Amen.
(I omitted the part about asking the BVM and the angels and saints to pray because I am not sure what your religious affiliation is.)
You’ll notice the prayer mentions:
“I have sinned through my own fault” not “my adrenalin and dopamine levels were way up … that may have contributed to my impulsive action.”
When we ask forgiveness from God and from others, we take responsibility for our actions, our thoughts, our words, and our omissions.
St. John the Apostle wrote that if we confess our sins, not blame them on past military duty (or anything else for that matter), “he [Christ] is faithful and just, to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all iniquity.”
And the verse before that he mentions, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
– The First Catholic Epistle of St. John the Apostle 1:8,9 (1 John 1:8,9)
Alan S: Thank you for the beautiful and awesome prayer. You are real, and I can sense you honestly care for your fellow brother, and I thank God for you and for this useful gift you have shared with me. God bless you.
Nick, Yes, I take full responsibility.
I know a lot of folks have negative feelings about Dr. Laura, but she has a formula for forgiveness called the “four R’s”:
(1) Responsibility — I did “X”. Not “I did “X” because…
(2) Remorse — a genuine expression of pain for the pain I caused.
(3) Repair — doing everything I can think of to fix the damage (AA calls it “amends”)
(4) Repeats — NONE. I do everything in my power to see to it that I do not repeat the offense.
Has Mr. Phelan completed the Four R’s?
Jim Phelan,
You’re welcome.