Recently, we received a copy of a letter sent by Exodus president Alan Chambers to members of a parents group earlier this year. While the source wishes to remain anonymous, we have verified it as authentic.
In the letter, Chambers describes the first and last time ex-gay guru Richard Cohen was invited to participate in an Exodus Annual Freedom Conference in 2000. During that conference, Cohen taught a workshop on holding therapy.
During that class, which I attended, he asked for a volunteer to demonstrate on. His volunteer was a seasoned Exodus leader. This leader was instructed by Mr. Cohen to lay on the floor and spread his legs wide open. Dr. Cohen then laid down on top of this other man face to face and embraced him.
Mr. Cohen made the comment, “This might cause some stimulation. However, what goes up must come down, I always say.” He made other vulgar comments of this nature.
Apparently the volunteer was so affected that he was uncertain he could continue as a ministry leader. Chambers goes on to explain how Exodus banned the use of holding therapy by member ministries, and removed Cohen’s books and other materials from sale. Cohen was told he would not be invited to another conference and Exodus refused to endorse his work.
Below is the full text of the letter:
Dear Parents Group,
Many of us within Exodus initially read Coming Out Straight, as we do most new books on the topic of overcoming homosexuality. Those of us who read the book began to talk amongst ourselves about the legitimacy of holding therapy, a practice Richard both uses and endorses.
At the time this discussion began (2000) I was not the President of Exodus nor was I even a board member. However, as the leader of an Exodus Member Ministry, I was deeply concerned about the implications this would have on Exodus as a whole if we endorsed such a controversial technique. Too, I worried about the possibility of leaders exposing themselves to temptation via the practice of “holding” a client.
That year (2000) at the Exodus Annual Freedom Conference Richard Cohen was invited by the Leadership at the time to teach a workshop on holding therapy. During that class, which I attended, he asked for a volunteer to demonstrate on.
****PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING IS SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC****
His volunteer was a seasoned Exodus leader. This leader was instructed by Mr. Cohen to lay on the floor and spread his legs wide open. Dr. Cohen then laid down on top of this other man face to face and embraced him.
Mr. Cohen made the comment, “This might cause some stimulation. However, what goes up must come down, I always say.” He made other vulgar comments of this nature.
Mr. Cohen came out of homosexuality as did the leader that he violated. This leader was so taken back and embarrassed by the event that he wondered if his ministry status was at stake.
I joined the board of directors of Exodus that year and I made it very clear that I wanted to ensure that Dr. Cohen was taken to task for this breach of trust. A letter was sent to him and to my knowledge he had some conversations with Bob Davies, my predecessor. The tapes of his workshop
were pulled and he was told that he could not teach at any future conferences.However, his book continued to be sold by the Exodus office until I was hired and I stopped that, as well.
It is because of all that I have shared and more that Exodus International does not and will not endorse or work with Mr. Cohen. His recent lack of judgment in the area of media interviews has only served to reinforce my belief that he is not someone Exodus should highlight as a valuable resource to the people that look to us.
As for the practice of holding therapy, under my leadership we decided to adopt the NARTH (www.narth.com) position banning our ministries from practicing this technique. Regardless of any benefits that this therapy is purported to have, I firmly believe that it is a stumbling block for all parties involved.
I appreciate each one of you and as someone who battled homosexuality myself, I believe it is my obligation to only promote the ministries and resources that will bring forth life long term and not simply every resource out there.
God bless each and every one of you,
Alan
Alan Chambers
President
Exodus International
—
Since that conference in 2000, Cohen has appeared on several news and comedy shows, cuddling, screaming and whacking pillows with his trademark tennis racket. Perhaps the most bizarre was his performance on The Daily Show, after which many organizations quietly removed any reference to him (though later some were replaced). He also appeared on The Howard Stern Show, where he posed next to male members of the crew, some of whom were sporting naked genitals.
Yet through it all there are some groups who hold tenaciously to Cohen and his teachings. Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX) removed him as President, but they still recommend his books. Jews Offering Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH) has a close relationship with him, while the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) still carries his material on their website. Even InterVarsity Press, a prestigous Christian publisher recently released Cohen’s book, Gay Children, Straight Parents, even after an apparent period of reflection over the matter.
And now we have new revelations about Cohen’s support of a strangely homo-erotic “therapeutic group” called New Warriors. One wonders if there will ever be enough writing on the wall to discourage the confused from trusting a Richard Cohen.
Forunately many have come out of religious fundamentalism. There is hope!
I imagine that many people feel that the most charitable explanation for Richard Cohen’s antics is that he is several cents short of a dollar, and this sort of thing will no doubt confirm it.
Yuck.
Apparently, a near sexual assault has to occur in public before ex-gay promoters will reluctantly denounce a controversial ex-gay counselor or technique.
Lordy, why would it be acceptable at ALL for “stimulation” to occur?? The patient-therapist relationship would cross all borders and lines of appropriateness or professionalism at that point. FORGET IT. There is NO excuse for that kind of disgusting practice and downright violation. I am DEEPLY ASHAMED of my fellow Jews that endorse this man and his vile “therapeutic” practices.
It almost sounds like some kind of Borat type performance art.
Methinks Mr. Cohen’s main goal is to get famous. After all, the more famous you get, the hotter the young boys who are drawn to you. Mr. Huggalong is setting himself up to get the cream of the crop. It’s just pure genius.
There are no benefits from these tactics at all. Unfortunately there are supporters of Cohen that use these techniques, and told that stimulation is “normal”.
I don’t believe that contact of any kind is appropriate for a therapist to encourage or introduce in a clients session. The New Warriors group is disturbing to read about and yet far too familiar.
I’ll ask my straight brother, but I’m pretty sure our father didn’t ever lay on top of him and hold him in the manner that Cohen used at this conference.
So we’re gay because our fathers never used awkwardly homoerotic affection toward us?
Somehow — and I don’t know why this isn’t clicking for me — I find it hard to believe that a man telling another man to lay on the ground with his legs spread, and the first man proceeding to lay on top of him, face to face, and holding him — somehow this does not seem like a good way to make someone straight.
Perhaps I am slow.
It occurs to me that there may be some people who sincerely take Cohen’s advice on these things, perhaps referred by one of these organizations or their church or whatever. They feel uncomfortable, perhaps aroused, any number of emotions. Then at some point it hits them that it’s all a sham and they were duped.
Don’t you think that person might respond like any other victim, having been violated, perhaps for another’s pleasure? There must be people out there who have experienced just that, and I suspect are too embarrassed, traumatized or ashamed to tell someone else and get help.
I can definitely see a prospect for this in the New Warrior mess. Is it really that much different that a Chris Austin?
I hardly consider myself an expert on Richard Cohen holding techniques, but the few times that I have seen him demonstrate it on TV (including on Comedy Central), he was in a sitting position and had the ?holdee? curled on his lap. It wasn’t groin to groin as Alan describes, but it was still pretty creapy.
I wonder if he changed his technique, or if he demonstrates on technique for the cameras and performs another with his clients.
I’ll ask my straight brother, but I’m pretty sure our father didn’t ever lay on top of him and hold him in the manner that Cohen used at this conference.
Any father who engages in this behavior with his children should be reported to Child Protective Services.
I don’t know. If it were Richard Cohen that was doing the “laying” it might work for me.
Lol. I have to admit, this post(and comments) are quite amusing. The reaction Exodus got from it, priceless. So much for ‘healing’ homosexuality.
Jason,
When you put it THAT way, it certianly makes no sense.
On another note: I was just listening the song, No More Sorrow by Linkin Park. The lyrics paint quite the picture. (not necesarily related to the current post tho)
In 2001-2002 I was in therapy on a weekly basis with our local evangelical ‘expert’ on sexual issues. It was at a typical ‘Christian counseling center.’ The therapist had very little to say about how I could overcome my same-sex desires, but he did recommend that I move with my wife and children to some Island off the west coast where I could experience holding therapy. In preparation for that, he asked me to read “Coming Out Straight” by Cohen. The book was so bizarre that I finally got some sense knocked into me. I asked my therapist some pointed questions about the book, and it was clear he hadn’t read it. That began my journey out of the ex-gay world. I have refrained from contacting the therapist or counseling center since coming out, but I’m thinking I’d like to forward Alan Chambers’ note to them since the Exodus incident happened BEFORE Cohen’s work was recommended to me. I can’t believe I actually spent money and pinned my hopes on therapy like that.
OK… so let’s get this clear
Step 1: (according to him) Alan Chambers works out Cohen is a fruitcake.
Step 2: (according to him, said to exgays) Alan Chambers, therefore, decides Cohen is a no-no. Exodus wants nothing to do with him….
Step 3: (currently denied by him) Despite all this… Alan Chambers then deliberately takes Exodus into a “coalition” created and organised by Cohen called PATH.
They “work together” for a few years….
and then the tennis racket thing et al happens…
Step 4: Chambers suddenly says “Who is this person Cohen? Never had anything to do with him. We only joined PATH because Goldberg from JONAH asked us to!”. Yeah just like… elsewhere.
(ps google “Emily K” and “Goldberg” and ” JONAH” and “Paul Cameron” to establish if that was a wise step to the side in any case…)
I sincerely hope Step 5 is not going to be : “blogs repeat Alan Chambers denial. Despite the evidence to the contrary. Chambers will eventually recycle their words – with a spin, and surely noting that these were pro-gay blogs – as “evidence” that he never had anything to do with that man Richard Cohen.
Yeah sure: and this dress isn’t blue.
Chambers apparently didn’t have a problem with Cohen until Cohen smelt like yesterday’s surströmming.
(btw: don’t even go there … truly disgustingly slimey, squishy and rotten fishy lumps of pre-vomit. Even if drunk on Absolut, with Swedes. Nasty. It’s not food: it’s an emetic. God, I can still taste it; it still makes me feel ill just thinking about it. Bleah. Double bleah.)
Or the confused, shamed-filled young evangelical reaching out for anything that will make him the straight man he is “supposed” to be. When something does come up during holding “therapy”, he is only convinced how much of a reprobate/predator he is…because only a reprobate/predator would be aroused by his therapist when the therapist is trying to help him.
My heart goes out to those men and women dealing with the effects of this schlock…compound that with the fact that they may already be dealing with issues of sexual molestation and/or rape from earlier in their life.
I’m with you on that one Jeff. I’ve never thought of the entire ExGay movement as sexually abusive therapists doing transference exercises, but it’s worth consideration. But then if a client MUST align with their religious beliefs, I guess they all must do the do and see what happens. Regarding sexual abuse, that’s a double-down bitch of a problem if sexual abuse was forced on a child now seeking therapy in adult life.
What alot of people do not realize, is that sexual abuse is not just a physical act, it’s also verbal speech and non verbal thought patterns. The entire religious right practices sexual abuse on the world every time they open their hate speech mouths to sexually bash someone. In this light they could be called non physical ‘known sex offenders’. If you do hate speech in Canada, you can get thrown in jail. I’d like to see that law put on the books here in the states.
I think we would all breath a sigh of relief if the likes of the Fred Phelps of the world were silenced.
DB
We take the good with the bad here – freedom isn’t always tidy, and it requires an informed public. That’s the reasoning behind XGW.
I’m late coming into this reading and subsequent commenting; my first inclination about the whole subject would to say it is banality, at this point. However, the thread comments are of interest whereas, one identified only as “G” accused the so called “entire religious right” as “practice[ing] sexual abuse on the world every time they open their hate speech mouths to sexually bash someone.” Now that’s a potentially interesting topic, specifics might drive the course, however. At present, it occupies vagueness, generalization, and perhaps reckless accusation.
Which is why you won’t be taking us there – it is not the topic of the thread.
Are you saying you have no problems with someone who bills himself as a psychotherapist (though permanently banned from the ACA), and claims to help people “change their sexual orientation,” to develop father-son relationships, etc, acting in this manner? Do you find it appropriate for him to have straddled a ministry leader, genitals to genitals, at an Exodus conference?
You were once affiliated with Exodus, the organization behind this letter and these responses to Cohen, with whom do you agree?
David, actually I was saying the information, rather content, has been covered and therefore lacks originality. Therefore, the letter itself is not as marketed, “shocking”.
I would like, and as you consistently aim to achieve, stay with the content of the post. Therefore my opinion of behaviors goes absent. I will like to comment, however where it was said, “Apparently the volunteer was so affected that he was uncertain he could continue as a ministry leader.” Has it appeared, only to me, the strangeness of an adult leader, so trammeled? It’s almost sad, pathetic in a sense. This is not to judge this one’s character by any means, but rather to highlight the written message of it bringing a strange alertness.
Now, about letter writing. In this case, the question that may come to some minds is the unusual essence in which Exodus takes no liability to hosting the venue to begin with. Rather, they take a hard swing at the allegd other’s perpetuation. Not once was it said, we (Exodus) take full responsible for, what obviously, in their minds, an oversight. The burden of responsibly is in screening, and knowing the content of presenters. At best, this lack of ownership could be judged to show a willingness to pelt responsibility and expose a slovenly approach to conferencing. This coincides with other possible interrogations, such as if behaviors of this presenter were so uncouth, why then did the organization, continue to endorse through sales, the presenters very own book product, until Mr. Chambers intervened? Then, the brightened, perhaps an over accentuation of the forgone principle, hence the letter?
Sorry, we will have to ask Mr. Cohen to engage in new absurdities so as not to bore you, Jim. He seems to have established favorites, though. So essentially you are blaming the victim?
Are you are saying that you agree that Cohen’s actions were out of bounds (to put it mildly)? Let’s just ask this directly, since you seem to have avoided it previously. Do you or do you not condone the actions of Richard Cohen as described in the original post?
Try answering directly for once, Jim.
I guess I didn’t see where it was covered. Please provide a link
David,
I can not base a judgment on Cohen’s “actions” at the said conference, based on this post or the exposed letter. What I can provide is my appraisal of Cohen based on my training with him in 2006. During that time I had the opportunity learn a variety of techniques he subscribes to, none of which violated APA code of ethics. I use the latter as a matter of reference as it seems to be a largely respected organization for standards.
I see. You said it’s been covered before (still waiting for you to show us where) and it’s therefore banal, but yet you can’t be sure of how you feel about it because what, you think Chambers is lying?
Let’s make it painfully easy for you to respond. Let’s just suppose that the event played out just as described in the letter, just for the sake of discussion. Now answer the questions in my last comment based on that. You can prefix your replies with, “If this happened, then…”
This way you aren’t deflecting the question by making the topic the veracity of the letter.
Well put David. I do see however, how God is tidying up the freedom fact. I’ve lost count of how many adulterers, fornicators, and homosexual Fundamentalist preachers and their akin, have been axed in the past decade. It’s quite an interesting study in the proverbial, “shooting oneself in the foot” metaphor.
Jim, that was me, not G. And though I would love to banter with you about sexual abuse, religion and your current beliefs in the biblical statements that are driging this entire caravan, I don’t want to get off the current Richard Cohen topic for I may be censured.
I will say this however, in response to another thead we were on. Angelina Jolie and your suggestion I may have subconscious attraction, though a stud in her own right, she don’t pop me the same boner that Richard Cohen gets when he lies on his patients. But then in his defense, at least he warns them.
DB
These housekeeping matters have been addressed on Throckmorton’s blog. Thanks.
Pardon me for the obvious, but if I didn’t want to be gay, why would i want to hang around with a bunch of gay guys? doesn’t make any sense to me unless…unless… of course!!!! what a great way to meet guys!!!
Borrowing an ex-gay analogy: if i were addicted to drugs or alcohol, probably the last place i would hang out is a bar with a bunch of drunks, or a crackhouse with a bunch of addicts.
Cohen is able to convince himself, and apparently, a lot of other people, that he does all of his “holding” and “laying on” for the benefit of the holdees and layees.
But here is the truth of the matter: “Mr. Cohen made the comment, “This might cause some stimulation. However, what goes up must come down, I always say.” He made other vulgar comments of this nature.
Can you say “projection”? Pathetic.
Jim said:
Pardon me? What do you mean by “housekeeping matters”? And whatever they may be, this is XGW, not Throckmorton’s blog so if you want to have any degree of credibility here in the future Jim, please answer my question directly.
grantdale, as Confucius said you are a wise one when you want to be……….
I always find it telling when someone who purports to be in Christian ministry acts in the kind of slippery manner that Jim Phelan acts. People only act evasive when they’re hiding something.
Can’t imagine what he’s hiding. Perhaps his fundamental belief that gay ain’t good, irrespective of the evidence.
On a different note, I Loved Jim’s performance two weeks ago.
Steve, at least others on here have some brains. Let’s start with the fact that I am not in a “ministry” and if you are paying attention, I am not even worthy to be associated with those who are, at least for the moment. I’ll stop being so “evasive” now. Thank you.
I think we’ve had enough. Please post elsewhere, Jim.
I am trying to fathom the amount of denial and mental gymnastics (maybe not the best word!) Cohen has to go through to think this is acceptable.
Mr. Phelan, if you’re railing against gays, beating them up in the streets and supporting weird, so-called therapies by obvious attention whores like Cohen, then you pretty much look and sound like all of those in this farce they are calling “ministry.” It’s hard to tell the loonies from the serious with so many clown costumes in the room.
Moderator Note: Bigoted, insulting generalizations deleted. This site is not the place for drive-by insults.
I think my last post is a bit over the line, too. Would the moderators please delete it? I apologize to the Board and to Mr. Phelan for wading a bit too deeply into the waters of sarcasm and exaggeration. It’s the Baptist in me. 🙂