On New Years Eve, 1879, W. S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan presented their comic opera The Pirates of Penzance. Although a social satire of English sensibilities, the production’s launch was in New York to (ironically) deter pirating of their work. Those old enough may recall Linda Ronstadt, Rex Smith, and Kevin Kline in the 1983 movie or the rather dreadful campy adaptation, The Pirate Movie, from the year before with Kristy McNichol and Christopher Atkins.

Perhaps the best known piece of G&S music is the Major-General’s song from Pirates. It’s mockery of English priorities for military leadership – an extensive education in matters social but highly irrelevant – stands as a tower of Victorian wit.

It is in this spirit that Justin Lee of the Gay Christian Network reworked the song into the parody song The Very Model of an Ex-Gay Individual as part of a parady musical performed at the GCN conference. While Sullivan, the composer of Onward Christian Soldiers might be scandalized (and you might also), Gilbert would probably find the whole notion of an ex-gay movement to be bursting with comic opportunity.

For the entire song link here.

I am the very model of an ex-gay individual
I’ve no more gay attractions (okay, maybe a residual)
I go to ex-gay conferences, where folks hold me accountable
They say with Jesus, sga is never insurmountable

I think of God, not Gaynor, when I hear someone say Gloria
I always stay a block away from local gay emporia
I’ve read 8 books on how to please my wife while I’m caressing her
And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessinger,
And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessinger,
And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessing-Schlessinger!]

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