Once in a while, the Exodus media blog posts something that might conceivably be true — at first glance.
“I don’t think the gay movement understands the extent to which the next generation just wants to be normal kids,” says Michael Glatze, the editor of YGA magazine (a lifestyle magazine for teen and twentysomething gays). “The people who are getting that are the Christian right.” — Michael J. West, Oct. 4, 2005
The full story, however, is much more complex — and less political — than Exodus would like for readers to believe.
The quote comes from blogcritics.org, quoting in turn from the Oct. 10 Time magazine article, The Battle over Gay Teens.
The quoted youths, Blogcritics, Time, and Exodus all overlook the 25 percent of gays who voted for George Bush. Instead of acknowledging the political diversity of gay people and encouraging more of it, they join the left and pretend that at least one-quarter of the “movement” does not exist at all.
The Blogcritics writer, Michael J. West, only quotes from passages of the Time article that portray gay teens as emancipated and successfully assimilated into school culture. But the Time article did not portray teen life quite so idyllically.
Let’s look at key points that Time and Blogcritics both underemphasized:
- Time reports that “nearly 1 in 10 high schools” has a gay-straight alliance club. This is a big improvement over high school life before the 1990s, to be sure, but more than 90 percent of high schools still offer little or no refuge for gay youths at risk of harassment from peers and faculty.
- Time quotes “social conservatives” at the Liberty Counsel and PFOX who view public schools as a key battleground in their efforts to promote antigay sentiment and discrimination.
- Time quotes GLSEN founder Kevin Jennings saying “4 out of 5” students have been harassed. But Time ignores the severity of some physical harassment and dismisses the statistic simply because 1) namecalling is on the decline, according to a GLSEN survey, and 2) as often as gays are beaten up, women are supposedly called sexist names.
To its credit, Time acknowledges social conservatives’ leading weapon against the emergence of gay youth: exgays.
- Time cites Focus on the Family’s bizarre warning to parents of 5-year-old boys to watch out for signs of “gender confusion” and to seek out “professional help” — a Christian “reparative therapist” — at the first sign of variation from Dobson’s gender stereotypes.
- Time counters James Dobson’s advice with professionals’ warnings that efforts to alter one’s sexual and romantic attractions can often be “fruitless and depressing.” Time reports on Tennessee’s effort to regulate the Exodus-affiliated, unlicensed mental-health facility Love In Action in Memphis, Tenn. Time gives LIA equal time with the organization’s claim to be a “faith-based institution” and therefore, somehow, exempt from state laws.
- Time notes that, contrary to exgay political claims, gay teens already have “unprecedented resources” if they prefer to become heterosexual — and that “just 13 percent of young people would prefer to become straight.”
- Exodus president Alan Chambers tells Time that the national umbrella group spends about $250,000 per year on Exodus Youth, and most Exodus-affiliated “ministries” offer exgay aid to youth. (Exodus does not point out to Time, and Time does not report, that Exodus lobbies against antiharassment policies in public schools.)
- Chambers says more than 1,000 youths from 45 countries have visited livehope.org to post messages and read antigay propaganda and strawman arguments, featuring such titles as “Homosexual Myths.” Myth No. 2, Time notes, is “People are born gay.”
- Exodus Youth director Scott Davis portrays himself as a defender of gays against older evangelicals who offer denunciation with no message of “healing.” Davis makes a particularly wise observation on how Exodus can succeed against school-based gay-straight alliances: While there may be 3,000 GSAs, there are far more student ministries and Bible clubs. Davis says, “And my hope is that they [not the GSAs] will be the ones who care for these kids.”
- Time notes that exgay and antigay organizations such as Inqueery and PFOX adopt “rhetorical mimicry” patterned after pro-tolerance and pro-diversity groups. While criticizing “a sordid history” of antigay language from Christian churches, Chad Thompson alleges that anti-exgay bigotry has emerged generally among gays — but no substantiation is offered for Thompson’s claim. He says exgays are “often misunderstood and sometimes even ridiculed” — but Thompson does not acknowledge exgays’ deliberate redefinition of key words, nor does he distinguish between ridicule and legitimate criticism. (Or if he does, Time does not print his statements.) As for his own sexual attraction to men, Thompson says, “My attractions are probably about one percent of what they used to be.”
- Time notes that exgays’ claim, that unnamed “liberals and gay activists are attacking Christian strugglers,” has won the exgays the politically charged attention of Jerry Falwell and the Liberty Council (which is based at Falwell’s Liberty University).
- Time quotes PFOX calling itself “an organization that says if you’re happy being a homosexual…that’s your right” — but fails to note that PFOX’s Regina Griggs and Estella Salvatierra have spoken out against antibullying programs and antidiscrimination laws, and in favor of sodomy laws.
- Time observes anecdotally that youth attending Exodus Youth events may be more stereotypically femme or butch than average gay teen-agers.
- Time finds both gay-tolerant and exgay adults out of touch with the youths that both sides seek to protect. At their best, both sides’ emphases on politics, religious correctness, and sex are ill-suited to youths who simply want to skate or go boating. At their worst, one side gives youths R-rated movies and booklets; the other side sends kids to a Mexican boot camp for harsh physical punishment and behavior modification. (Time says Mexican health officials shut the boot camp, noting it was not equipped with responsible staff to run a pharmacy; the Utah-based camp operator blames the kids for any punishment, and says reports of abuse are “probably” exaggerated.)
Based on a reading of Ritch Savin-Williams’ new book, The New Gay Teenager, the Time article attempts to conclude, in part: “The point here is not that gay kids don’t have to cope with bigotry and bleakness. … Yet, according to Savin-Williams, most gay kids are fairly ordinary.”
Yet even that conclusion is disputed by Dr. Gary Remafedi, director of the Youth and AIDS Projects at the University of Minnesota. Remafedi says that most of Savin-Williams’ interview subjects were wealthy, high-functioning Cornell University students; Savin-Williams counters that past studies were weighted toward teens found in crisis centers.
Savin-Williams opposes exgay programs, but Time says he has won admiration from some ex-gay advocates by writing that sexuality and sexual identity develop gradually over the course of childhood.
Savin-Williams says “straight kids don’t define themselves by sexuality” — they want to have sex, but they don’t say, ‘It is what I am’ — and he believes young gays are moving toward a “postgay” identity. Savin-Williams and other interviewees in the Time article seem to have bought into the leftist/religious-rightist notion that “gay” relates to an identity of politics, parades, and circuit parties, rather than a simple acknowledgment and/or affirmation that one is attracted to the same gender.
Like older moderate, independent and conservative gays, young gays may look at politically correct progressives, fashionistas, and party animals, and decide, “If that’s gay, I want no part of it.” But “that” isn’t gay.
Yet when faith-oriented, same-sex-attracted youths look below the surface of Exodus-affiliated groups, they may discover a variable mix of reactionary political correctness, conformity, unsafe binges of compulsive sex and confession, bigotry and resentment toward gay couples, and group leaders who breed fear and political animosity toward outsiders who might be qualified to help the exgay individual honor his or her spiritual values. In reaction to Exodus-style tactics, Time almost acknowledges, young same-sex-attracted youths may decide: “If that’s exgay, then I want no part of that, either.”
Exodus does not define “exgay” — though it certainly wants to. Time cites one exgay, Michael Wilson, 22, of Michigan, who has tentatively found calm and peace with “freedom in Christ” — without a need to wage wars of defamation against gay people.
What others say: Some Guys Are Normal links to three reactions and a spare copy of the Time magazine article.
Rick Sincere discusses efforts by students to start a GSA club amid political misinformation and legislation in Virginia.
Patrick Yaeger responds at length to BlogCritics.org.
This is an interview with Time’s cover boy, who says that being gay is a choice:
https://www.readingeagle.com/re/news/1435470.asp
I thought the article was very seductive propaganda for ex-gay groups. My favorite part was when the author (John Cloud, the Ann Coulter groupie) implied that GLSEN simply could not be trusted regarding the amount of abuse and bullying gay teens go through, because their organization would need to make it look like gay teens are having a tough time. As if GLSEN members are rolling in dough on the Riviera, profiting off the backs of gays.
I thought Williams’ name seemed familiar, but didn’t remember from where until you mentioned his book. Of course, Time would rely so much on someone who seems to think that gay teens are having a gay old time and that everything is so wonderful now, there’s no need to identify as gay. As if identifying as gay is like getting a new hair color. These pundits and snake oil salesmen are desperate to convince the public that being gay is being trendy, even though they never manage to explain why anyone would want to be a part of a constantly persecuted and assaulted minority.
The article was so friendly towards ex-gay groups, essentially saying that the gay community is all about sex and doesn’t know what teens want, so teens of course will become ex-gay. That it is only logical to go to some kind of mythical paradise, which is what the article makes Exodus out to be.
Once again in yet another “mainstream” article we see gays presented as some kind of promiscuous, sleazy headcases who are either passe with the public or who are now happy to renounce their homosexuality because the battle is over with and all that is left is clubbing and dancing.
These types of stories are written for those who desperately want to believe that being gay is about frivolity and pleasure, and that it’s nothing inside you, not a part of who you are. These articles are designed to make concerned straight people more likely to be hostile or cool towards gays and more trusting of anti-gay groups and ex-gay groups. Once again the media shows us who can be trusted.
Um, this is one reason why I distinguish between “gay” and “homosexual.” The time article (which I might read at the dentist’s office one day) is quite ignorant, given the summary here.
Points that I’ve been trying to make:
If someone doesn’t want to engage in homosex, he or she should abstain.
For those of us who want to engage in homosex, what is it to those who don’t?
It truly isn’t rocket science. If you don’t want to, don’t. But don’t discriminate against those of us who want to.
I still do not understand why the anti-gay “ex-gay” aparatchick feel it necessary to set up “ministries” to spread their messages. There must be a lot of money in “ministries.”
If gay adult leaders are handing out copies of “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” to gay teens and telling them it “reflects reality,” then yes, they are EXTREMELY out of touch. Like, off the planet out of touch. Reality is about the last thing movies like that reflect. I guess the store was out of copies of Rocky Horror.
I have that copy of TIME, and I agree, it was too friendly towards the ex gay issue, but they do acknowledge they are out there because the cover story is ‘the battle for gay youth’.
As for what gay adults instruct to gay youth, they article made it SOUND like there isn’t enough YOUTH oriented activity or entertainment.
That adults were engaging the kids with R-rated sexual fare.
And that remark about ‘Hedwig’ was bizarre.
I would have opted for a copy of the movie ‘Beautiful Thing’. The stage play based film about two teen boys living in ‘council flats’…Brit for ‘low income’ housing who fall in love.
Now THAT was a bit of reality. And a very good movie.
But they merely touch on the fact that this former generation was at sea during their own youth, and being out of touch somewhat with THIS generation speaks to the result of campaigns to make gay people diasporic. Even cross generationally.
After all, the last thing that the anti gay want…and some gay people avoid, is close contact between older and younger gays.
Even for mentoring.
You get the picture why.
The analysis here of the TIME piece was what I got out of it as well.
I was hoping to compare notes with the gang here.
Our country is way behind and loath to address sexuality realistically and comprehensively.
ESPECIALLY gay youth.
For gay kids, their sexuality IS who they are to heterosexuals.
For straight kids, it’s about what they do.
They’d all be better served if they were treated equally as burgeoning sexual people and how to deal with the emotional, physiological and mental processes that make them sexual, how do handle those emotions and protect themselves emotionally and physically within or without relationships as they mature.
What the TIME piece reveals all over again is the disconnect from reality, that constantly gets muddied and confused by the powerful conservatives out there. Who not only refuse to understand, but are constantly trying to silence gay kids and anesthetize their parents.
I’ve been attending a youth conference called “Models of Pride” for five years not.
Their website
http://www.modelsofpride.org
These are the LA Unified School Dist. citywide meet and greet from the area schools GSA, GLSEN and GLASS participants.
The offer lectures and workshops and information booths to address every aspect of life that concerns gay kids and their families.
The site also has a listing of the educational workshops planned.
For some kids, it’s their first and perhaps ONLY class that addresses sex education aimed at gay youth.
The workshops also include emotional and relationship counseling and drug prevention resources.
It’s hard for gay youth to be taken seriously by HETEROSEXUALS, who keep trying to claim control over gay sexuality.
Unless and until the general public stops fighting the realities and processes of what gay people are from childhood on up….progress will continue to be excruciatingly slow.
It hasn’t been mentioned but the writer of the times article is gay. And, incidentally, that is being used by the anti-gays as proof that the Times article was biased towards the “homosexual lifestyle”.
The focus of the article was that the right wants these kids to reorient, the left wants these kids to be the next activists, and the kids just wanna have fun.
I think that is a bit simplistic. And I think in trying to make his point the author stretched a bit.
While I think putting in the video of Hedwig was not particularly responsible, the article does not tell us if there were another 15 videos also included and that Hedwig was mentioned as the far extreme. (Unrelated – go see Dorian Blues, a new coming of age story with excellent production values, good writing, and no depiction of sex).
However, the point made that kids don’t have much in the community that is related to kids is probably quite true.
Part of that is out of fear. Can you just imagine the AgapePress headlines if the community targeted teens for a skate night: “Homosexual Activists Recruit Children to ‘Gay’ Skate Night Where Young Kids Can Meet Adults!!!”
I do think that is changing, however. And the change will be the natural result of GSA clubs. They’ll create their own gay-accepting kid related activities.
Also, I suspect that there will be much more assimilation as the younger generations let go of some of the older generations’ prejudices. If you can go to the movies with all your friends and hold your boyfriend’s hand, there won’t be as much of a need to have gay-specific events.
To some extent, assimilation is already occuring in places like West Hollywood. The trendy gay places like the Abbey are becoming very mixed and hip straight places don’t blink at all if there are two guys or two girls together.
So many people have claimed this article was just wonderful for gays, and what progress Time has made. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who saw just how far the author and the magazine went out of their way to make people trust ex-gay groups and dislike gays. The message really does seem to be – hey kids, gay is passe now, older gay men are weird, turn straight, that is the normal part of life!
Denver has a great program called Rainbow Alley and I definitely think we need to be doing more of this kind of thing for youth. They have adults (they go through a complete background check) who are there for the kids, but most of it is pretty kid-directed and kid-driven. Wish more cities would do something like this…
Timothy, from what I’ve heard, when some places go from being oriented towards gays to being more mixed, less focused on being a safe environment for gays, it’s more likely that prejudice and homophobia will return. That seems to be the case in South Beach. I know there were some gay bars in places like St. Louis or Minneapolis which began to attract more and more straight customers and those customers made the gays feel unwelcome and attacked them, sometimes physically. That lead to some of the bars closing. It seems like there is a tendency for many gays to believe that once a place becomes somewhat tolerant, that is all we can expect and that the place will never return to a more hostile, homophobic climate. From my experience, when gays do try to openly associate with straights, then unless the number of people is very small, then bigotry and abuse will crop up and due to peer pressure, straight people will not step in. We are often so grateful for any kernel of sympathy that we don’t speak out when people are hostile towards us. That hostility spirals into worse and worse behavior. That’s part of the reason so many gays form “gay ghettos”, not that that’s a better solution.
The author of the article wrote a gushing profile of Ann Coulter and he was very defensive about that profile. He seems equally defensive in this article, as if he felt that because he’s gay, he needed to make gays look bad and needed to flatter and praise ex-gay groups, because that shows how “balanced” he is.
James,
I don’t doubt what you say about St. Louis or Minneapolis. However, I’m not sure that completely compares to Los Angeles or some other liberal coastal cities.
And, while I don’t think that we are anywhere near the time in which gay ghettos are not needed, I’m hopeful for the future.
Also, overall, while I don’t think the Times article was great, I’m not sure I agree with you. I didn’t find that he made “gays look bad” or “flatter and praise ex-gay groups”. I think he was trying to make a point that neither side is really taking the kids’ point of view and he carried it further than I would. But it wasn’t, as best I could tell, stretched to the point of being untruthful.
Much of the “Christian right” doesn’t think gay people are normal in the first place. Are we led to believe Exodus wants to change “normal” people?
And I’ve never met a gay person who defines themselves by their sexuality.
Gay people know they are normal, and have different interests.
BTW, if you look at the magazine, https://www.younggayamerica.com you have a hard time deciding what the editor means by how kids want to be “normal” anyway, because its just like everything else the “gay movement” puts out, except YGA has more pastel flower things. I get the impression he is plugging his magazine, trying to make it seem different, than making any real claim.
Preview pages here: https://www.ygamag.com/pub/pages/preview.html
There are, for example, articles on clubbing and religous homophbia, the latter asking you to “remind them that the people who say homosexuality is a choice are often straight.”
So much for the “Christian Right” understanding what gay kids want. Unless the guy was just recently hired, the editor’s comments don’t sync with what the magazine presents to the world.
I think in many ways gay ghettos have outlived their usefulness, but only in certain areas. I noticed that even the Castro is considerably more mixed now than it was a few years ago.
As for my adoptive town of Tucson, I swear it has to be among the gayer cities in the U.S. While there are only three very poorly-attended gay bars and no discernible ghetto, they’re freakin’ everywhere. My BF and I are constantly amazed at how integrated everyone is here (he moved here after 15 years in S.F.). Over 1,100 ponied up $80 per ticket for last month’s annual fund-raising banquet for the Wingspan LGBT Center. We filled Tucson’s largest banquet hall, making a larger event logistically difficult in this town.
Instead of ghetto-izing, LGBT in Tucson are just nesting in their homes, working their careers, shopping in the stores and coffee shops, going to Home Depot (like everywhere else!) etc. etc. etc. In other words, just living.
Tucson’s not perfect. We still have hateful state politicians (but the local ones are pretty gay-friendly) and we get a smattering of hate crimes here and there (although the fact that they are well-publicized, again, speaks to the positive attitude local authorities have in going after it.) But I think there are many aspects of life here which are harbingers for the future.
I haven’t had a chance to read the Time article, but I suspect that the diminution of gay identity is in our future, at least culturally. It is already happening in some places. I tend to think that it is not such a bad thing in the long run. As many older African-Americans who mourn the loss of historically vital and active communities can tell you, it’s the price we pay for integration.
I have to maintain a library or refer gay or straight kids to print media and broadcast material for their interests.
Movie listings too.
And I need all of it for reference for research.
Whew…what a job it all is.
Teenagers are ALL space aliens anyway…!
They go through this mutant phase where their own folks don’t recognize them.
They are looking under the kid’s bed for a pod.
You know I’m right…
James wrote:
I’d have to say that hasn’t been the case in Melbourne (Oz) for as long as we can remember (and that’s a l-o-n-g time). Our “gay bars/clubs” have long been mixed, as have the decent straight ones, and that’s rather helpful as we two tend to go out as a mixed crowd. If all our friends weren’t welcome we wouldn’t want to be there, and they have much the same view.I’m not pretending this is reflected in wider society, or that drunken aggressive loons don’t appear anywhere, but inside most venues we feel as much at home as our straight friends. It’s when you leave the venues that problems occur…Melbourne was a little peculiar in this regard, but we’ve noticed this “mixed” crowd occurs in more and more places; whether it’s a club, a pool-table and cheap beer pub, or (rather hideous) “disco” out in the sticks. (we were there a few weeks ago following a wedding. Aah, country discos… where else can you hear Gwen Stefani roll into Guns N’ Roses…).We travel outside Melbourne quite a bit and don’t feel much need to be particularly selective or careful, even in country towns. Things do get a bit hairier in our “Deep North” (Queensland etc) but even this has changed.Most younger people don’t care two hoots, frankly. And most older people who think otherwise have learned to keep their opinions to themself. We can live with that.
P.S. just want to add the wedding wasn’t at the Terminus Hotel. Our friends aren’t that cheap!It was in fact here. We, however, are cheap and stayed at the Terminus; enjoying — as they claim, “very fresh beer on tap” — until we were thoroughly beered out at 3am.
I came out into a gay youth discussion group back in 1978, when I was seventeen.
There was a clear and almost unbridgeable gap between ‘youth’ and the gay adult world. Most gay men were terrified of being seen as actual or potential ‘child molesters’, so they kept their distance.
During the early ’80s, there were a succession of ‘gay nights’ at local skate rinks – advertised strictly through word of mouth. It was one of the very few ‘all-ages’ events for GLBTQ youth in the SF Bay Area, and I still have fond memories of group outings to those rinks.
So, this isnt’ _entirely_ new.
Re: Our “gay bars/clubs” have long been mixed, as have the decent straight ones, and that’s rather helpful as we two tend to go out as a mixed crowd.
I’d have to echo most of that. One friend here in Tucson likes to say, “All of the bars are gay after midnight.”
As far as James’ observation that Grant/Dale quoted, I’d have to say that I haven’t experienced much of that. I’m completely out at work — at the #2 defense contractor no less! — and haven’t experienced any negative effects for it. Not that everybody has embraced me with open arms. But those who don’t like gays tend to keep their opinions to themselves, insofar as personal and professional contact is concerned.
And yet, I know that this is not the case in many parts of the country — or even in some communities very close to Tucson. But I think this is part of a very slow trend that a few of us are lucky enough to be able to observe first-hand.
Most gay men were terrified of being seen as actual or potential ‘child molesters’
I’ll turn this back at you. Most gay men did not want to be blackmailed, either. I noted, when I came out in WashDC in the mid 1970s, that there were more than a few young men who populated the exteriors of gay clubs. They were too young to get in, and apparently too stupid to get fake IDs to be able to get into the clubs.
But it is highly unlikely that more than a few of them were not stupid enough to figure out how to blackmail adult gay men. Maybe even at the request of the WashDC police.
Oh, and I’ll merely point out that the age of entry in Wash DC, whe I was there, was 18, not 21, not like it is in most places currently.