Zach has updated his journal once again, and unleashed another torrent of support / debate / ranting / etc. on his MySpace account. He reaffirms that the last entry was his, refuting the speculation that it was written by somebody else. He promises not to write anything in conflict with his thoughts, but also says:
I really just want to say what I want to say, how I want to say it, but I know that noone will listen if I do that — or get extremely irritated and start to insult me even moreso – and have reason.
Zach had blogged before going into Love in Action about his paren’ts promise that “things would get better, even if it doesn’t work.” This appears to mean that Zach’s father Joe Stark would work harder to maintain a masculine role in the family, and that his friends would be scrutinized more closely in terms of being “sexually safe.” It may also mean he is not allowed to blog any more. He still does not answer any of the questions that everyone wants answered.
So far as anyone can tell, Zach is still 16, a little bewildered, and trying to make sense of a crazy situation. Good luck.
Part of me understands that his world was turned upside down and so he is doing his best to toe the line and keep some sanity. However, he is less than 2 years from adult status (complete with adult decisions) and must begin to assert some healthy control over his own life as well. Nothing he (or his parents) does will change the fact that he is gay, but it could certainly affect how prepared he is for life.
In my honest opinion, this entire Zach ordeal has irritated me.
The kid is the one responsible for placing himself into the center of the stage. I have absolutely no pity for him on that matter, and neither should anyone. He should stop complaining and take charge of his own life, be much more stronger and show an example to the rest of society, even if it means being kicked out of that hovel of his or taking drastic actions against his parents.
On the side, I also think he can benefit from reading some Frederich Nietzche’s works.
Xeno,
Zach has no obligation to live according to what you think he “should” do. Further, I haven’t seen him ask for your pity.
While we’re all deciding what others “should” do, I think we “should” just leave the kid alone and let him live his own life.
Just out of curiosity… I’ve not read Nietzche. Does he encourage people to decide what’s best for others, who they should or should not pity, who should be stronger, and what consequence they should be willing to suffer?
Rambling:
I can’t help myself when reading his entries from doing “therapy from a distance,” and seeing that Zach and his family are still going through hell. It’s not a throw-things, beat-people, raging-on hell, but it is a whole “everything up is down and down is up” whacked-out situation. I think his parents are trying to restore “normal” through all the wrong ways and Zach himself is gritting his teeth and trying to make the best of it.
But then I was a shrink for 12 years, so that colors my perception…
Xeno: Grow a conscience.
He didn’t put himself into anything, unless you think he decided to be gay of his own choosing. He didn’t ask for any of this. It all came down on him because he told his parents the truth about himself and even that was likely not something he’d planned to do, but simply happened when he was confronted with it. He cried out for help when he saw what he was being thrown into. What is hard to understand about any of this. Unless you think his being gay is a choice, then the dime store prejudices and hatreds that all came down on him because of his sexual orientation are not his fault. And how the hell can he take charge of his own life under these circumstances? What do you want this kid to do…stop being gay? Blame himself for the fact that his parents hate him for it? Blame himself for the existence of outfits like LIA? Tell himself that he had it all coming because he’s gay?
Actually, he (Zach) should be ignored.
Nobody knows what’s going on inside this kid’s head, and it’s really nobody’s business. Worst case scenario- he cracked under the pressure. So what do you want to do, blame him for not being able to suffer something at 16 that many adults can’t handle either? He’s been through hell, but he’s got plenty of time to sort himself out. Once he does, we can welcome him back with open arms, until then, everybody should butt out.
And btw, Nietzche died in an insane asylum.
I tend to agree. Zach should be ignored, for two reasons.
1) He’s just a kid. Which means he hasn’t developed the level of maturity to do the things some of us “adults” think he should. As kids his age do, he’s going to say and do things that will cause many of us with a whole lifetime of experience to roll our eyes. And really, what teenager doesn’t provoke that kind of reaction from time to time? In his youthful, immature, still-developing way, he needs the freedom to figure out how he’s going to reach adulthood with all the crap that is going on around him.
2) The spotlight should more properly shine on LIA and others, because there are a whole lot more Zachs in the world that just Zach.
Zach doesn’t belong to us.
Zach belongs to himself.
I’m not exactly sure what the reference to Nietzsche in a previous post was supposed to mean, but he died at the age of 56. There’s a bit of a difference between a 16 year old and a 56 year old.
raj-
It was in response to Xenon’s suggestion that Zach would benefit by reading Nietzsche.
Sorry, that last post went overboard. I’ve written it emotionally charged.
I do have a conscience. I sympathize with Zach’s situation about being stuck with his deadbeat parents, such as a father that goes on the 700 club show to humiliate him and being forced into a hellhole. What I don’t pity is his latest comments complaining to be on center stage because he created a online journal to be accessed to the public, not just to a selected few of his friends.
Really though, the guy can do anything he wants, I’m just implying what needs to be done if he wants to get away from that nightmare. Also, I don’t think he’s that much of a kid anymore because of his experience with these people.
As for Nietzche, I’ve only mentioned him because it reminded me of his books that focuses on self-empowerment; taking life by the horns and embracing it. A lot of people misjudge his work as being extremist and pro-nazi, which is far from being reality since he depised nationalism and anti-semetism. He did suffered mental illness in the later part of his life, but so did his father.
Boo, Zach won’t benefit by reading Nietzsche. I’ve read Nietzsche, in the original German even. He’d do better to read Einstein, even in the original German. Or the developers of quantum mechanics, which were also in German.
If Zach wants a short Nietzsche: Gott ist tot, Gott bleibt tot, und wir haben ihn getotet. God is dead, God remains dead, and we have killed Him.
As for Nietzsche, I’ve only mentioned him because it reminded me of his books that focuses on self-empowerment; taking life by the horns and embracing it. A lot of people misjudge his work as being extremist and pro-nazi, which is far from being reality since he depised nationalism and anti-semetism.
This is very true. After his death, his papers were taken up by his sister, who was an anti-semite, who was married to a virulent anti-semite, and she transformed them into an anti-semitic rant. Fortunately, the original papers were preserved and were subsequently published. The “God is dead” theme is a reflection of his belief that rational beings don’t need a “guiding power” to tell them how to behave themselves. Whether or not that’s true, I don’t know.
I also would like to add my voice to those saying that Zach should be ignored. Even more, Mike and Andrew and Daniel and the Joes, is it possible for XGW to place a moratorium on Zach entries? The guy has been through enough without any of us adding to his problems through attention that he obviously doesn’t want.
Hang on there Robis, there is a long way between leaving the guy alone and censoring discussion about him.
…there is a long way between leaving the guy alone and censoring discussion…
Precisely.
“There will come a time in our lives when we will say “It was youth, only youth”. And that too, my friend, will be youth.
How many of us are “grown up” ?
Nietzsche
I’m not suggesting censoring discussion about him, I’m suggesting that if Zach wants to be left alone, a good start would be to not make entries about him.
(Though it seems to me that discussing Zach after he’s asked to be left alone is…well…jerky.)
The ZAch situation is a rare opportunity.
1. That gay kids get condemned to reform schools of thought like LIA/R. Most of these families don’t do this publicly.
2. Many people who have tried to maintain the conditioning that LIA espouses have committed suicide or been badly damaged or had marriages and relationships with their children implode.
3. Few in the public know how destructive and useless ex gay anything really is. And how cruel.
Some really believe it’s a successful and benevolent ‘alternative to being gay’.
We know it’s not. Lots of gay kids like Zach are intimidated into silence and don’t have the benefit of mentioning their feelings on the subject.
The controversy was important to illustrate it.