This old copy of the About XGW page needs a bit of a rewrite. Feedback is welcome from everyone — but especially from exgay readers who may disagree with religious-right politics.
Disclaimers
This web blog is a personal project by its writers. It is not associated with any organization. An expressed viewpoint is solely the opinion of the person who wrote it, and not the viewpoint of other XGW writers.
The writers encourage readers to judge for themselves the credibility of linked sources. A best effort is made to quote sources accurately.
Feedback and commentary from blog readers are welcome in the comments following each post. XGW reserves the right to delete comments that are disruptive or inflammatory. Preferring a free and open exchange of ideas, that privilege will be exercised sparingly. XGW takes no responsibility for words posted by others.
Corrections and clarifications are welcome in the comments sections as well. Direct any questions to editor@exgaywatch.com.
Overview of Ex-Gay Issues
Ex-gay ministries and therapists have been active for about 30 years and say that thousands of folks have changed because of them. Their views, based in conservative religious faith, dominated the mental health fields in the early 20th century.
However, when researcher Dr. Robert Spitzer went looking for well-established ex-gays to study in 2000-2001, he only found 200 people eligible to participate in his study — even though he publicized his study through ex-gay ministries and reparative therapists for 16 months.
Most ex-gay leaders say that it’s possible to change from gay to straight, and a few sincerely believe they have changed their orientation. Most ex-gays, however, report they have only modified their behavior, not their sexual attractions.
Few leaders in the ex-gay movement claim a success rate any higher than 20 to 30 percent — and they do not clearly define what constitutes success.
In any event, they do not discuss what happened to the other 70 to 80 percent. Many of those who did not “succeed” have organized an “ex-ex-gay” movement with its own ministries to encourage tolerance, sexual moderation, and spiritual healing from wounds they say were caused by intolerant fundamentalism and prejudice.
Some ex-gay ministries and political outfits generalize about “homosexuality” or the gay “lifestyle,” asserting that all or most gay people are promiscuous, drug-addicted, depressed, emotionally unstable, incapable of long-term romantic relationships, and effeminate or tomboyish.
Of course, those generalizations are inaccurate, but some ex-gay groups believe in the stereotypes because their recruitment techniques happen to appeal disproportionately to people who suffer from untreated addictions, depression, or a desire for religious absolutism.
Groups like NARTH (the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) say they are putting science to work in studying homosexuality and evaluating “treatments” for it. In fact, NARTH releases few detailed study results, none for peer review, and its public statements are frequently tainted by political and religious biases. For these reasons, NARTH has little credibility among mainstream therapists.
Exodus International is a conservative Christian network of ex-gay groups. Exodus says that faith is the problem and the answer — homosexuality happens when people walk away from God and the solution is to adopt conservative Christian faith and politics, and be either celibate or married. Exodus speaks for more than 100 local ex-gay ministries, many of which are relatively informal, unfunded support groups, a few of which have paid staffs. These ministries are more often led by laypeople who are ex-gay themselves than by professional therapists; open hostility toward the professions of psychology, psychiatry, social work, as well as Christians who affirm gays, is not unusual.
Local Exodus member ministries often do not take positions on political issues such as nondiscrimination legislation, or antiharassment policies in public schools. However, their membership and referral dues support national Exodus leaders who lobby for antigay discrimination; support antisex laws; support efforts to remove gay Christians from active participation in churches;
oppose antiharassment policies; and seek to reverse the custody rights of biological and adoptive parents who happen to be gay.
Ex-gay ministries often operate like small businesses. They receive financial and marketing support from client fees, honoraria, individual Christian donors, and political organizations such as Focus on the Family.
One common tactic, derived from the political organizations, is to selectively cite undated statistics from discredited researchers, while ignoring more current data that has passed scientific peer review. In the genre of discredited researchers, Dr. Paul Cameron stands out. Due to his rigging of data, and alleged plagiarism, Cameron has lost his professional standing among his peers and his research is not considered credible. Regrettably, the Exodus International web site continues to cite Cameron’s claims as fact.
Another common tactic is to disseminate unsubstantiated allegations about the beliefs, values, and behaviors of unnamed but all-powerful gay activists or organizations. When repeated often enough, these strawman arguments take on a life of their own — even though none of these statements seems to be traceable to a real gay individual or organization.
Ex-Gay Watch’s agenda
Ex-Gay Watch believes that celibacy is a valid choice, but not the only valid one, for people who are attracted to the same gender.
The site affirms efforts to reduce the incidence of sexual addiction, depression, divorce, and domestic violence across all of society.
The site opposes laws that may infringe on freedom of speech, especially in regard to religion or sexual orientation.
We oppose laws that compel government, businesses, churches, or individuals to discriminate against people on the basis of religion or sexual orientation.
We believe private individuals, businesses and organizations have a right to discriminate, just as they have a right to commit other wrongs, but we believe the actual choice to discriminate is unethical and worthy of opposition.
We view with concern the weak science, religious biases, binge behaviors, and partisan politics that are, unfortunately, common among ex-gay political activist leaders and spokespersons.
We believe that the manipulation of human sexuality and personality to serve religious or political agendas is harmful to gays and ex-gays — and a threat to the health and diversity of religious communities.
Since the ex-gay movement currently abides by no published standard of accountability, we encourage the formation of uniform standards by which the beliefs, practices, and performance (success and failure rates) of individual ex-gay programs can be independently measured and rated.
‘Ex-gay ministries and therapists have been active for about 30 years and say that thousands of folks have changed because of them. Their views, based in conservative religious faith, dominated the mental health fields in the early 20th century.’
Actually I feel it is more accurate to say that the anti-gay theories of some types of Psychiatry were taken up by religious exgays about 30 years ago. The whole apparatus of anti-gay theories and analysis has progressed from being widespread among educated and professional mental health types to being the particular province of religious conservatives. What we see here is a tiny remment of what once was a major movement.
Where once this was spoken in the educated tones of Viennese therapist, it is now shouted from the revival tent.
‘Since the ex-gay movement currently abides by no published standard of accountability, we encourage the formation of uniform standards by which the beliefs, practices, and performance (success and failure rates) of individual ex-gay programs can be independently measured and rated.’
One thing that has taken me a while to realize is that the whole of evangelical Christianity relies upon the presence of those who are ‘ex’ something or other. In looking at the cC, what I notice is how many people claim to have left something behind. While we focus on the exgays, we tend not to notice that they are not alone. There is a whole long list of ex’s. Ex: druggies, prostitutes, occultists, pagans, witches, abortionists, abortionees, pornographers, gang members, bullies, wife beaters, child beaters, husband beaters, extortionists, swindlers, and on and on.
What seems important to the ex’s is not so much the actual details of the life they left behind. Instead it is more important to focus on ‘being found’ and why that is so much better than ‘being lost’. We are trying to apply factual criteria to something that is probably more a form of lyric poetry than anything else.
So, as to the lack of standards, it seems to me that Evangelical Christianity has virtually no standards for reportage on anything outside itself. So why should exgays be something different? They tell stories that are lurid and titallating, and probably a pack of lies beside. ISTM that the intent here is not to inform people about the actual world they left behind but to show the wonderful grace that has lifted them up. Once the narrative has placed the exgay into salvation mode, the purpose is accomplished.
As a parrallel, there exists a ministry run by someone who claims to be an exwitch. His story has been thoroughly debunked. Every detail he provides can be shown to be a lie. This is documented at Witches Voice. And he remains in business.
I suspect that no matter what we do, we will not chip away at the credibility of exgays with their co-religionists. Instead we are arguing with mirages. And not really getting at the heart of the matter.
Re: “What seems important to the ex’s is not so much the actual details of the life they left behind. Instead it is more important to focus on ‘being found’ and why that is so much better than ‘being lost’. We are trying to apply factual criteria to something that is probably more a form of lyric poetry than anything else.”
Ah! You’ve been reading Joseph Campbell, haven’t you? đ This is a very key point here, which of course is makes Exodus’ et al.’s mixing religion with “science” all the more strange.
I agree with a lot of what you said here when youâre explaining the Overview of Ex-Gay Issues. The right to discriminate vs. the choice to discriminate is an interesting thought.
Youâre saying the right to discriminate is inherently wrong?
What if you used the word Preferences instead? Donât we all prefer to hang out with certain people and we tend to avoid others who we donât get along with? Is that wrong to discriminate who we let into our lives and our circles of influence?
A mentor of mine said that we all have our preferences and that we all have the right to make our own choices. Is there something I might be missing in your thoughts about discrimination?
In reading a lot of posts here on EGW, can I just remind everyone that while people like to debate this issue of Change and itâs ethics, that for the One who is struggling with their sexuality- this is a Personal Issue.
Personal goals. Personal choices. Personal preferences on how one wants to live.
Support and help should be made available to anyone who has a problem and they should have free access to such help because they alone deem itâs worthy of pursuit. While I would agree that accountability standards and higher ethics be held for those that run Ex-Gay organizations, it is the SOLE responsibility of the individual to do their due diligence about their methods of change and it is the SOLE responsibility of the individual to deal with the results- good or bad.
This whole thing about ex-gays being trapped by conservatives to do their bidding is simply not true, and even if it were, there can be no tears cried in the aftermath because it was THEIR decision to become involved in the first place. .
Gays are not victims. And neither are Ex-Gays. We all make our own choices.
Iâm Marcus and Iâve been there. My email is spiralpass@yahoo.com
Peace đ
Well said Marcus. Indeed, it all comes down to individual responsibility. Everyone has the right to make choices which they feel is best for THEIR life.
However, The thing that irks me though is that many of these ex-gay activists will claim that everybody has the right to self-determination, but at the same time work to deprive happy openly gay people of their rights. The height of hypocrisy.
Secular therapy helped me go from gay to bisexual. It is highly unlikely that my orientation will ever become “straight.”
I am not sad about this in the least bit.
Organizations like Exodus love to claim that gay to straight conversions happen all the time. I argue that they do not (a full conversion is most likely a rare occurence). However, the point is not to alter myself so that I can fit some societal label of “normalacy,” i.e. the label of “heterosexual.” Instead, I realized what I wanted out of life: I want to be in a monogamous relationship with a woman and someday start a family of my own. This is what I WANT for MY life. After all, they can’t read my mind. Therapy has made my dream much more of a reality. Now, as for whether I’m “bisexual,” “homosexual,” “heterosexual,” or “undecided” does not matter to me anymore. After all, those labels are silly, in my opinion.
My therapist never started from the mistaken premise that my same sex attraction was somehow deficient or “bad.” Instead, we acknowledged that they were most likely a benign natural occurence. Rather than getting caught up on the fact that I had same sex attractions, we examined how we could broaden my sexual orientation, in other words, expand one’s repertoire, so that I can achieve what I WANTED for MY life.
I’m not claiming that everyone is capable of achieving what I’ve achieved, or that everyone should try to. Those who feel distressed about having homo-erotic feelings ought to examine what they want out of life, before making any choices. For some, it may be better to live as an openly gay individual, while others may opt for the path that I’ve taken.
One last thing: I wouldn’t even call my therapist a “reparative therapist,” after all, we never started from the assumption that something was “broken” and needed repairing.
NC
Exactly.
Good for you for creating the kind of life you want…period. No matter what it’s called or what it looks like.
I hope that you find the woman of your dreams and have the family you’ve always wanted dude!
Mike, et al.
I checked over at Scatteredwords to see what Benâs been up to. Initially I sympathized with this kid; his thoughts seemed to be consistent with what mine were at his age. However, the more I see, the more something doesnât gel.
1. He doesnât seem to have a life. If you remove references to this site and other ex-gay items, thereâs just not much left. Ben has no opinions about his job, classes, friends, movies, non-devotional books, events going on in the nationâs capital or really anything else. I did see one posting where he started talking about how he felt about someone elseâs problems in church but it devolved to a discussion of how distant he was from his father and his being sexually abused as a child. Textbook ex-gay ministry phychobabble.
2. Iâm not a linguist, but certain words and phrases seem inconsistent with a 22 year old guy. Additionally, at times the cadence seems structured to be heard rather than seen, more like what you would typically find in a sermon or lecture. Iâd love to hear what a trained linguist could determine.
3. The obsession with XGW and Wayne Beson seems extreme. Thereâs little to no criticism of groups that you would expect a young fairly conservative SSA guy to be familiar with: indegayforum, Log Cabin, HRC, Soulforce, MCC.
4. The latest scare is oh-too-cute. Although there are instances in which one can run the possibility of HIV infection outside of a sexual situation, how often does this happen? But it certainly lets Ben demonstrate the horrible consequences of a gay lifestyle without allowing any criticism of his personal actions. Oddly, while Ben was so sick on preventative meds that he couldnât function, there was no mention of how this affected his job, friends, etc.
I canât say for certain, but it seems to me that the sole function of ScatteredWords is to criticize XGW and shill for the various ex-gay ministries. Maybe there actually is a âBenâ â I donât know – but the more I read, the more contrived and artificial he seems.
I have the same reservations about Stephen Bennett you do about this “Ben” person.
If you read alot of Bennett’s site, his words seem very contrived and aimed more at anti-gay people than the actual gay people he claims to “care” about.
I guess I’d like the “agenda” part to state all your concerns about manipulation and the likelihood of a change in attractions, but then say that it’s the right of anyone to pursue change anyways — hopefully with an understanding of what they’re doing, and not because they’ve been manipulated or misinformed.
Timothy: Ben at Scattered Words says he designed it as a place to talk about his exgay journey, nothing else. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that it doesn’t say much else or reveal a life. Though he has admitted he doesn’t have much in the way of close relationships.
He hasn’t seemed sophisticated enough to strike me as being older than he claims.
Matt —
I agree that the “agenda” should be clearer about the right of exgays to pursue change anyways.
If exgays are to benefit from informed consent — if they are to make informed choices — then they must be given access to information sources that are unbiased and apolitical.
There may well be some moderate professionals in the NARTH/reparative therapy community who offer their clients balanced information. I have not heard from them, unfortunately. And I don’t see moderation or balance being offered by Exodus leadership, Focus on the Family, PFOX, Richard Cohen, Warren Throckmorton or Joseph Nicolosi.
“Ex-gay” outreaches are for those who don’t want to enter or who want to leave the frightening gay life. Who wants to live in a culture of promiscuity, multiple partners, serial manogamy, etc. Of course, this is the same with mainsteam society, but “ex-gays” don’t want either lifestyle. If someone wants another option, let them enjoy changing their behavior. I’ve done that and when I live a life of chastity, I’m most at peace. The calling is about changing one’s behavior and that’s good enough for me!
Neil,
That might be fine if it were true, but if you monitor this site, then you are aware that exgay political activists spend little or no time helping exgay individuals change their behavior.
Exgay political activism is directed at making employment, housing, safe neighborhoods, civil unions, and marriage unavailable to people who have no problem with being gay and who don’t live the stereotypical life that you describe.
The upgrade seems to have gone smoothly.
Might it be a good idea to make a more prominent link to this item about the Ex-Gay Watch Agenda for the benefit of those visiting the site for the first time?