Find the most recent XGW coverage of Kirk Talley here.
March 23, 2004
This page’s original post is below, heavily revised. The links have also been updated.
On January 15, 2004, famed southern Gospel singer Kirk Talley disclosed (under alleged threat of extortion) a 30-year struggle with sexual orientation.
On Feb. 17, Talley described in detail a sexual/spiritual conversion experience away from homosexuality. The description of the event was, for some critics, a bit reminiscent of an exorcism.
On March 5, the Rev. Phil Hoskins reported Talley’s “confession of sin, his cleansing, and his deliverance from a thirty-year struggle with homosexuality.” (This page from Talley’s site was not archived.)
Hoskins, a Tennessee Baptist pastor and friend of Talley, says, “It was one of the most memorable days of my Christian journey and I know that God is preparing Kirk’s heart with a new song and a fresh start to make others aware of the liberating power of Jesus Christ.”
In August 2004, Talley announced that he will resume concerts and continue counseling.
Canceled concerts, backlogged merchandise and ex-gay counseling expenses have been costing Talley a fortune. All because a bigot (convicted in August) decided to blackmail a southern Gospel singer — and because many people reacted by blaming victim, not perpetrator.
Going forward, can Talley’s restoration team be of assistance?
Hoskins’ apparent expertise is extremely limited. His only online connections to homosexuality are two isolated references to his association with antigay sermons by Jerry Falwell.
More promising: Another key member of Talley’s restoration team is Roy A. Blankenship, a conservative-Christian sexual-addictions counselor who heads a ministry that is affiliated with Exodus.
By all accounts, the ministry’s staff are sincere, have good intentions, and have served as spiritual inspiration to Talley.
Some concerns are worth raising. For one, the restoration staff claim to hold (or be pursuing) master’s degrees, but the degrees appear to be from a mix of unidentified and unaccredited Bible schools. Other other concerns exist in the form of unanswered questions:
Is the goal to achieve change of orientation — or is it celibacy? Are short- or long-term results being promised? What is the team’s success/failure rate?
Talley is entitled to privacy regarding the first two questions, but the third question (in my opinion) is a matter of public accountability, since this team has no doubt treated other people before, and will in the future.
Talley is entitled to prayers and support — and, as I said, a reasonable degree of privacy. He did not ask to have his sexual struggles dragged before the public. Talley will, in time, choose whether or not to affirm same-gender attraction, and whether or not to opt for celibacy. He already appears to have made some decisions: He does not label himself “gay” or “exgay,” he is simply… Kirk Talley.
Here is a wise blog commentary on the situation from someone far more knowledgeable about southern Gospel music than I.
What follows are selected comments from the original discussion that appeared on this page. We had only a few hostile comments, but I’ve pared things down nevertheless. Also, out of concern for Talley’s privacy, I will consider moving this page offline.
Like Kirk, I’ve searched and pleaded the Lord to heal me of my homosexual desires. It was a very difficult battle for me until I realized I could not fight it alone. As of a month ago I shared with my wife that I needed help. It wasn’t new for her to hear this because I shared this before. What was difficult was to admit that I STILL struggled. Seven years ago, I thought going through a couple sessions with the pastor and a little prayer I would be fine. Well, that lasted for a little while. Today, I’m much more sober and clear minded about healing from homosexuality. Yes, the Lord can heal some folks instantly, but for others like me, committing more time in counseling and prayer is the journey we must take.
A friend directed me to the Kirk Talley website. I too found myself skeptical about his whirlwind healing session, but I also noted that afterwards he accepted a time of extended counseling and solitude. What’s key is Kirk’s desire to be healed and to have a more genuine relationship in the Lord. In this, I applaud Kirk and pray for his healing.
Where I differ with the ministry that is offering him counseling is that the pastor had asked him to sing a few songs in a special worship service. Does it really benefit anyone for the person who is an open wound to minister? If anything, to me it only appears to benefit Kirk and I’m surprised he would have accepted the pastor’s invitation.
What I am not seeing here is how this differs in any way from magic. If the Lord can do all this healing, uplifting etc; why are the prayers and excorcisms needed? It seems perfectly clear that the Lord has had lots of time to do this. And has not done anything. For what reason would anyone think that the Lord can be flattered and bamboozeled into doing something. The whole story looks like it is lifted from Landover Baptist. IMHO, this is silly and demeaning: making God a creature who responds to flattery and cojoling. What is the use of a God who is fickle?
I think that different people have different goals in healing, and they look to different sources. Some people target sexual attraction, other people target compulsive behavior, and still others target loneliness or depression.
And in each case, they look to different sources — doctors, meditation, prayer, God, self-discipline, counseling, or ministers, some of whom practice magic (and many don’t).
It should be obvious from this blog that:I don’t see attraction as a problem,I encourage people to evaluate and take responsibility for their own behaviors,I discourage people from prejudging others’ beliefs and behaviors,I believe some individuals are wise to practice celibacy or preserve pre-existing marriages, if possible,I do mind if individuals or groups use disinformation, coercion or blackmail to compel involuntary change in others.
I wandered onto this site accidentally and have read a few lines with interest.
I was raised in a family of Penticostal ministers (grandfather, father, uncle, brothers) and so can empathize with those who feel the dissonance between same-sex desire and Christian faith.
I was fortunate enough (though I didn’t think so at the time) to be raised at the extreme conservative edge of Christianity during a period of entrenchment on issues. When I was a kid so much was immoral, if not outright sin: movies, women in pants, secular music, makeup, men without shirts (um… coach, I have to be on the “shirts” team, not the “skins” team), and pretty much else that could be entertaining or fun.
The fortunate part of this (yes, there is one) is that I experienced change in dogma. When some of the more extreme stuff fell to the wayside, it gave me perspective. I realized that it was possible to have disagreement on issues of scriptural meaning without those I disagreed with being “tools of Satan”. And it meant that I did not have to support and defend every small minute aspect of the beliefs I was raised with. After all, if it was possible to get carried away on issues of hairstyle, could I not at least question the selective support of a hand full of old-testament scripture.
So when it became time for me to come out, I didn’t have to defy God or my faith, I just realized that others were not where I was in the understanding of God and his grace.
I recognized that blind faith in what I was told – no matter what it was – was a cop-out: a way that I did not have to know God, pushing my responsibilty to some preacher whom I could just puppet and then blame on some distant day of judgement (“sure I opposed interracial marriage, but God it’s not my fault; my preacher said don’t be unequally yoked” or “my pastor told me that women were to always submit to men so I didn’t know any better” or more currently “the televangelist said that abomination is really really bad and that you’d make terrorists kill me unless I changed the Constitution to protect only heterosexual Christians”).
I did not go through an ex-gay experience and was fortunate enough to find a supporting and loving congregation. This gave me a great space in which to compare the teachings of churches with the teaching of Jesus.
And as time progresses, I find that my conviction of God’s love, acceptance and support of my orientation grows. Rather than finding submission to God leading me to celibacy or heterosexuality, I find that his plan for me is a rather conventional (ok, old fashioned and at times downright boring) relationship with another man.
It may be that at the end of it all I may be wrong in my understanding of scripture and God’s plan for my life. However, I am certain that my desire to know God and his will far outways any sinfulness in my life.
And, when all is said and done, if I erred in my life, it will be between God and myself. I am just thankful that I will never have to stand before Him and say that I used his name to drive a wedge between Him and his children. Or that I used God’s authority to deny civil rights to “the least of these”.
I am an old friend of Kirk Talley’s, being born and raised not far from Kirk, and having worked as part of the same circuit as Kirk has worked. I have been attempting to contact Kirk, since he probably does not have my current e-mail address. I have been unsuccessful in contacting him, but would like to do so. I am very much a supporter of Kirk, but feel very concerned about the people that he is surrounding himself with during this difficult time. Not so much the people themselves, but what some of them are probably telling him…particularly in regards to his orientation. Since Kirk and I last conversed and corresponded, I have ‘come out’ and have been able to go through the process of acknowledging and then the process of accepting the fact that I was truly born gay. I am still married to my lovely wife of twenty-two years, though we have been separated for the past three and a half years. But she, my four lovely daughters and I are best of friends and still love each other very much. But I was not ‘in love’ with my wife. We always traveled with our daughters, schooled them in good Christian and private schools and home school, were active in church and were told that we were a model family by many who were associated with us, both in the religious realm and in the the general community and society. Though we always had a wonderful home life of love and bliss, there was a most turbulent storm raging within me, for I knew I was gay but was more concerned about being accepted by church, friends and family. My family and I have better communication now than ever before. For the first time I am a true person and can be honest and happy with who I am…a gay Christian. One of many. I traveled to Focus On The Family with my family, and have listened and respected Dr. Dobson and his staff for many years. But when it comes to teaching what they teach regarding someone’s orientation, being diverse from what they feel the Bible teaches, it’s really scarey. I’ve read alot of the material and newsletters from EXODUS, and other like organizations, and though it sounds good, it simply is not true. Not as I know it and as many other gay Christians know. With such resources such as Mel White’s book, “STRANGER AT THE GATE: TO BE GAY AND CHRISTIAN IN AMERICA”, there is no reason for all of those who were like Kirk and I, to remain locked away in their sorrow and pain, when there is a loving and caring life of love and affection and true Christian love awaiting them. I hope you will assist me in reaching Kirk, so that he and I could speak with each other and be able to spend some time sharing our stories with each other. Thanks for your time and I hope to hear from you soon. Jerry
Hi:
I found this site while searching Kirk Talley. It’s good to see a few familiar names from another site here, Ric and CPT_Doom. I’ve tried to contact Kirk several times with no success, his deliverance ministry is probably protecting him. A new book was released in Canada and the US last week titled, “Same-Sex Marriage the Personal and the Political.” My partner Bob and I contributed about 20 pages of our journey together and our search for answers. We found that answer at a little church in Phoenix, Arizona, called “Casa de Cristo.” That was when in 1988 we gave our lives to the Lord. We will marry in July of this year, after a 36 year engagement. The ceremony will be held in a Christian church and we know that our love will be blessed by God. We pray for those who are trapped in the big lie of the Ex-Gay movement. The sooner you accept and understand that God loves you just the way you are, the sooner you will be able to know God’s Truth.
Lloyd
Ahh yes, good day, Lloyd! another familiar face in the crowd. as noted on that other site even the former news postings have been taking down from Kirk’s Web page. I don’t know if it would be called “protecting him” as much as “isolating/insulating” him (I don’t trust “deliverance” ministries in general, and abhor the misguided efforts of “ex-gay” type abuse in particular). For whatever reason, he is out of reach, and probably better for him, although I have no doubt he’s been reading all these various forum boards. I’m glad my life was never made so public, although my situation was just as intolerable as a minister before I came out. Coming out and being myself was the most liberating and spiritually uplifting event in my life. Once I got free of the shackles of fundamentalist religion, I was able to see more clearly that religion and spirituality are two entirely different things. I hope Kirk comes to this realization as well, whether he remains a Christian or not.
>I don’t know if it would be called “protecting him” as much as “isolating/insulating” him
Of course, it is well known that isolation is typically used by cults in brainwashing.
Hi Ray, sorry I failed to mention you. My comment about protecting Kirk of course was said tongue in cheek, he might need protection from those surrounding him, at least some of them.
Lloyd