The Exodus Spotlight for Oct. 14 says this letter from an “anonymous high school counselor” is “very moving”:
I am currently a high school counselor in a public school in the Midwest. I am seeing first hand the students dealing with their homosexuality in the public school. It saddens me the harassment that does take place. I have received quite a bit of persecution from my fellow coworkers because I am not willing to endorse the homosexual lifestyle as the best lifestyle choice. They tell me that because I am not in favor of a GSA and because I refused to hang a rainbow flag on my door that they don’t want me to counsel our gay students. This makes my work situation tough at times, because I am young (25) and my fellow coworkers are all 50+, and I care for them all but the one most angry with me is my fellow counselor who is a lesbian.
Well the new year has started and even though my fellow co-workers would have liked to not have me back here God has me here. And I have to tell you that in spite of the absence of the rainbow flag….I still have teens coming to me on this issue. I actually just got done with a conversation with one my young ladies who is heavily into to lesbianism and she was telling me how she is depressed and keeps thinking about the spiritual void in her life. She is seeking, and being drawn to Him and she doesn’t even know it. But I have no doubt that God has me right here to be able to help her flesh some of this confusion out. Pray for her salvation and healing.
God has opened up some awesome opportunities with this young lady. She said she can’t talk about this with anyone else no one else listens and that’s why she wants to come to me. She even said that after she spoke with me on this she was feeling more at peace. I asked her that “if there is a God out there and He wanted to get your attention how do you think he would try to communicate with you?” All I can say is I am so excited to be where I am and I am getting the chance to love on the lost! She is only one of a handful that meet with me. Its funny to me that even though my fellow co-workers don’t want me working with “these students” the students keep coming to me as well as many others. I think God has a different plan. It can be draining some days not having the support or encouragement from my co-workers….but then God reminds that He is with me. Deut 31:6 is one of my theme verses!
Serving Him forever, wherever He sends me.
The counselor acknowledges opposing gay-straight dialogue, violating orders, disrespecting the wisdom of experienced superiors, and using his position — taxpayer dollars — to proselytize regardless of the wishes of parents. The counselor also neglects to provide facts explaining why the lesbian coworker is upset.
The counselor implies that he or she knows God’s will better than his coworkers do. And the counselor cites God’s approval as an excuse to violate the rules put in place by the taxpayers to limit abuse of government power.
The counselor, who at age 25 is quite inexperienced, is at risk of self-isolating paranoia toward coworkers who, in all likelihood, are people of faith possessing sufficient maturity and discretion to eschew insecurity and holier-than-thouism toward children and their parents.
Sadly, Exodus’ flattering quotation of the letter appears to be a near-endorsement of the counselor’s actions and paranoia.
Now that is a person who is playing with fire. All I can say is I hope that she doesn’t harm his/her career or students while playing with fire. At that age most people are still sorting out their attractions and really don’t need to be pushed into being gay or pushed into trying to rid themselves of same sex attraction. They just need time to figure out who they are and they should be given a way to do it in the least destructive way possible.
Huh. I had such a “heroic” counselor at my school, ten years ago. I’m glad I didn’t listen to her!
I think that the student’s faith should definitely be taken into account when dealing with her problems, but this isn’t the way to go about it.
I wonder how many such “anonymous” counselors are pulling the same kind of crap. Parents need to be vigilant ande report this flagrant violation of law. Who knows what other horrid things these “anonymous” types are pulling?
This person has an agenda that SHE wishes to impose upon her charges. She has no business being in the business that she’s in.
What is disburbing is that there are a “handful” of students who are attracted by this counselor’s message. I wonder if they are attracted by this counselor’s anti-gay message because this counselor is willing to go beyond “okay to be gay” rhetoric and discuss fears, concerns, and issues.
Advertisers are already aware of the fact that youth are very media saavy and reject attempts to be manipulated. Since GSA are politically/philosophically slanted toward acceptance of homosexuality, these kids may be seeking a not-so-gay-positive discussion. This creates an opportunity for anti-/ex-gay groups to present a *seemingly* more honest discussion about homosexuality.
I certainly disagree with this counselor and how s/he is abusing their position. But I believe the gay and gay supportive community should see this as an opportunity to re-assess our message. Why don’t gay positive organization honestly talk about STDs and the difficulties of having an alternative lifestyle. AIDS, herpes, and other STDs infections continue to grow because of the gay communities, IMO, have glossed-over the negative realities of our hyper-sex culture. Youth know that the STD epidemic is NOT simply a disease outbreak, but a behavioral problem. Nor can all of the depression and self-destructive behavior can be completely blamed on society’s anti-gay attitude.
Although GSA groups are commendable, there will always be gay youth who will seek the alternative anti-/ex-gay viewpoint. The gay community will have to go beyond parades and politics and openly and honestly discuss the negative aspects of gay life to reach these youth.
Norman says:
‘Why don’t gay positive organization honestly talk about STDs and the difficulties of having an alternative lifestyle. AIDS, herpes, and other STDs infections continue to grow because of the gay communities, IMO, have glossed-over the negative realities of our hyper-sex culture. Youth know that the STD epidemic is NOT simply a disease outbreak, but a behavioral problem.’
As long as I can remember, our community has had anti-STD efforts. This goes back to the early 70’s. My inclination is to regard this as an infectious disease problem. And I support the safer sex programs.
I think the reason is just plain old fear. Thinking that you might be gay and/or sexual issues in general are issues that many teenagers don’t feel comfortable talking about to parents. Instead teenagers are likely to turn to teachers or close friends.
I know I sure as heck wouldn’t have felt comfortable going to a GSA located in my high school or hanging around a teacher that was gay or was rumored to be when I was that age. Unfortunately the students just picked a bad person to go to.
As for depression, I think the antigay attitude is 100% responsible. I remember being at a gay youth program about ten years ago when this kid fell down the stairs. He was lying there somewhat stunned and although he didn’t look too injured he didn’t get up. Clearly he was going to need to see a doctor and definitely he was going to need some help getting home. The youth group people told him that they had to contact his father.
At which point he curled into a ball and started crying. He was far more concerned about their calling his father than the fact that he was laying down at the bottom of the stairs injured. I can still remember him begging them not to call his dad. I think that if he had fell down the stairs anywhere else his reaction would have been much different.
I admired the ethical approach of the therapist who helped me during the early part of my coming out phase. He was well-versed in many faith perspectives, determined and able to help his clients examine theirs. I never learned what his personal beliefs were.
Without expecting the school counselor to employ that level of expertise, the training and supervision should still be in place to ensure that students are encouraged to consider impacts on their faith without directing them. Saying, “Many people find it important to examine their beliefs, sometimes realigning, deepening, or adapting them, at times like this. I can’t and won’t direct you, but I can show you where to get relevant information from different perspectives.”
With all due respect, Norm, your question “Why don’t gay positive organization honestly talk about STDs and the difficulties of having an alternative lifestyle?” links things that aren’t related directly. Risk of STDs comes with being sexual, period. I hope that questioning youth are reminded that orientation does not determine sexual values or behavior.
I agree, Jason, that fear is one of the primary motivations for people to seek ex-gay programs. Due to inexperience, young people in particular may have more fears about their sexuality. My assumption is that these students may be attracted to this counselor because s/he is willing to acknowledge and maybe even confirm these fears.
The ethical and empowering counseling you describe, Steve, would be the most ideal way for a counselor to counsel questioning youth. The problem, of course, is that this approach does not give the definitive answer that anti-/ex-gay programs offer.
My point in bringing up STDs and depression is that I think these are relevant issues to questioning youth — and adults. Although these may be technically seperate issues from sexual orientation, they are still a major part of the coming out process. The appeal of ex-gay groups is that they package all these issues together. Therefore, if we are to counteract these type of anti-/ex-gay proponets, we must be willing to address all these topics.
Dear Sirs
This is what my husband and I are dealing with now. Please read all the way down and see our letter to the Flint Journal and the School board. We wrote to the paper and to the school board and the paper did a follow up story about our efforts. Channel 5 came to our house and did an interview, and has asked to kept appraised of any further actions. We are at a loss as to where to go now. As you can see, from the letter from the school board, they have no problem with a teacher using his position in the school to push the homosexual agenda, as long as he faithfully teaches his assigned curriculum. We feel that parents and tax payers have a right to expect more from a school board. Our question to you is: where do we go next? Do you have any suggestions? We really need some help here.
In Flint, Michigan, in the Carman-Ainsworth Middle school, science teacher Frank Burger describes himself as a “man on a mission.” His mission was clearly stated in the newspaper. He wants to make the homosexual lifestyle acceptable. He wants non-homosexual students to accept homosexual students or teachers, or anyone else, as normal. He wants them not too think ill of them or say unkind things about them. And finally, he is recruiting for the homosexual agenda.
All of the above was clearly stated in the newspaper and addressed by letter to the superintendent of the school board. His response: “The story doesn’t have anything to do with Carman-Ainsworth. There isn’t an issue… he’s performing his duties in the classroom (School board superintendent Daniel Behm, as quoted by the Flint Township News 11/02/03).” He further stated: “(his advocacy) …is a matter of his personal life… It hasn’t created a problem with employees in terms of his professional duties. I really don’t want to be dragged into matters that aren’t a problem.”
To kick off his recruitment drive for GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network), Burger met in his classroom with Flint Journal reporter, Jeff Smith, a Journal photographer and several students. The result was a lengthy article describing Burger’s mission.
Daniel Behm says the “school district” did not sanction the article or participate in its production. This is an interesting choice of words, designed to mislead.
Probably the “district” didn’t participate, but since the photograph in the paper shows Burger with students, in his classroom, and is labeled as a Journal “staff photo,” the school, obviously, did sanction the article. Clearly Mr. Behm is using semantics to mislead, without using actual falsehoods.
In his written response to parents, as well as to the Flint Journal, Behm defends Burger by saying that he is a competent teacher, as if that was an issue under discussion. In his letter to the parents he states:
“Nowhere in our school system is it the job of an employee to teach or discuss with students one’s personal viewpoints about sexual orientation or homosexual lifestyle. This is a topic that the school district believes is best left to the home, parents, and places of worship.”
The obvious question then is, when Mr. Burger makes it plain that he is using his position as a teacher to influence students regarding sexual orientation and the homosexual lifestyle, a policy that Mr. Behm says contradicts the intent of the school district, why does Mr. Behm say “I really don’t want to be dragged into issues that are not a problem”?
One has to wonder what the districts response would be if a teacher placed a picture of his church on his desk as a means of initiating conversation with students about religion. Behm says the district has no policy about teachers putting pictures on their desks. But Burger has a picture of his “partner” on his desk as a means of initiating conversation on the subject of sexual orientation. He says it is to teach students tolerance.
The issue here is not name calling as Burger suggests.
Name calling has been around since the beginning of time and will hardly end with any kind of school policy. What Burger wants to outlaw is free speech regarding the homosexual lifestyle.
The saddest part of the whole commentary is that Jeff Smith, the newspaper reporter, said he had only two letters of complaint after his first article was written.
If you will look at the picture you can see that the picture was taken in the teachers classroom
with at least three students present.
Man on a mission
Gay teacher wants schools to reach out to sexual minorities’
[Moderator’s note: Click the link to a cross-posting of the newspaper article and Ms. Brainard’s response to the newspaper — and to the superintendent. I’m deleting it here because the article is copyrighted.]
What do you want from us? Is there some answer you would like? Or what? Really having trouble following this issue.
Conservative Christians generally consider Judaism and Islam to be false — and therefore immoral — religions. Some consider dancing and rock music immoral as well. Some Protestants view Catholicism as immoral and some Catholics view Protestants as immoral.
When a Jewish teacher, with a picture of a Muslim spouse, works in a public school promoting tolerance, that is not a threat to the morals of conservative Christian, Jewish, or Muslim children — or their parents. Nor is the presence of a teacher who dances or plays rock music or has a rosary on his desk.
The teacher is not being insubordinate. He is doing his job in a public school that recognizes the school’s (and community’s) countless moral and religious backgrounds that must be balanced.
Parents are free to teach what they wish about Jews and Muslims at home. Their children are free to express their own views in school while listening to, and tolerating, those of others.
The parents are not legally entitled to rewrite a public school curriculum to reflect their own religious views at the expense of other parents’ views, or those of the community.
Nor are they entitled to fire any teacher who does not conform to every aspect of one family’s moral or ideological code. Finally, they are not entitled to withhold support from a public school system just because they find something to disagree with.
There are two solutions: The one that Ms. Brainard has adopted (move the kids out of the school), or tolerance. Both approaches are valid.
I wish Ms. Brainard and her children, and the teacher and his partner, good health and peace of mind.