Ann Phillips, who is a former Exodus local group leader and former women’s program director at the Exodus flagship live-in program Love In Action, will speak at the gay-friendly Evangelicals Concerned women’s retreat July 25-27, 2007 in Orange, Calif.
For 10 years, Phillips spoke and led workshops on behalf of the ex-gay movement, claiming to teach the causes of homosexuality and offering claims of change.
However, after ten years of having “all the answers,” Ann realized that God had not placed a period at the end of her now well-known testimony nor her life. Thus, she began the journey of trying to live the questions.
Despite the change in her life, Phillips is still advertised as a “former lesbian” by the conservative Christian website Leadership University. Her ex-gay testimony — written when she was on staff at LIA — is still on this website. The site’s ex-gay content appears to have been written mostly in 1998 and has not been updated significantly since 2002. (LeadershipU is an offshoot of Campus Crusade for Christ.)
Evangelicals Concerned (EC) describes itself as a nationwide ministry which encourages and affirms lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered Christians in their faith. It organizes small groups, bible studies, social activities and other events in many North American cities.
Here is a classic bit of reality bending logic from her ex-gay testimony:
This is what I am. No, you just think you are. I’ll dispense with the obvious 1984 analogies as the thing speaks for itself.
Check out the “before” and “after” photos on Ann’s ex-gay testimony, then compare to the picture of her today.
The contrast is telling to me. On that “butch-femme” spectrum we know exists somehow, yet is fuzzy to define, she has found a comfortable place. It reminds me of the transformation that happened with John Paul, even though he has a different theological stance.
From a man’s suit to pearls to a stylish ‘do and glasses. Appearance isn’t everything (and for some, men’s clothing or pearls fits them very well). Still, the images hint at an oscillation which is now over.
Dang it. John *Paulk.*
At Anne’s first EC conference I was in her family group and it was great to have her there. She is a loving and amazing person. I look forward to hearing what she has to say this year at EC.
You’ve way under sold Anne. I was at the EC conference last year and she was hilarious .. one of the funniest and most sincere speakers I’ve heard. And what a great story she has. Hear her if you can!
Anne Phillips’ ex-gay testimony is a lot like so many of ex-gay and ex-lesbian “testimonies” on the Exodus International Website which were written 10 or even more years ago.
Exodus and its affiliate organizations are like Alcoholics Anonymous; they don’t do follow up either.
Oh, Anne’s current hairstyle now is not much different from most women who attend church regularly now. My younger sister, Vi, has a similar hairstyle and she is definitely straight. I have some pics which I took of her and my other sister, Edna, last week when they were in Tulsa.
I adore Ann Phillips, even when she was a staff member at Love in Action, (and I was a participant there) she exuded a warmth and sincerity that touched me deeply. She has a lot of wisdom and that brilliant wit of hers.
Since leaving LIA and coming back into her own, I have found that her wisdom and clarity grows and grows. I am so glad that lesbians like Ann, and Darlene Boggle and Christine Bakke are getting to tell their stories at last. I imagine they will add much needed insight into the ex-gay discussion.
I, too, like the new do. It is chic and stylish. For that matter, I like John Paulk’s make-over as well.
Does anyone know if Ann is open to email conversations? Does she have an email address that she doesn’t mind sharing?
Is there any chance to hear the recorded speeches of the EC conference? They used to put them online for the last conferences.
Love
A
Unlike many of you here, I am not a huge fan of this woman. It’s one thing to be deluded and try and cure yourself of being gay, but it’s entirely another to be one of their leaders and ruin the lives of other people. And that is exactly what she did. How much pain and agony and anguish did she cause to possibly hundreds – if not thousands – of people telling them they could ‘turn straight’? That’s not the least bit loving. I think she should get down on her knees and beg their forgiveness. And any money she makes from what she’s doing now, talking about her miscreant past of screwing with people’s minds and emotions, she should donate to a lesbigay charity.
I’m one of the ones — as I’m sure many of us here are who are in the category described — who was deceived.
But, it was my choice to listen to them in the first place. Yep, personal responsibility. What a concept!
She doesn’t need to “get down on her knees and beg my forgiveness”. Who am I, God?!
As far as being a “fan” — I, for one, see her as a human being who had a wake up call. I can entirely appreciate her dilemma of “living the questions”.
Castigating her would not make my or anyone else’s spiritual journey any easier even if I felt it was called for.
And BTW, there are thousands of people who have gone through much worse than this — concentration camps, modern day genocides, etc… whose lives have not been “ruined”.
I, personally, REFUSE to give anyone — including ex-gay ministries — power to ruin my life.
Twilight,
Thank you for that. I was thinking those sorts of thought but have no credibility in saying them as it concerns this discussion. You do. Thanks! 🙂
thanks fine for you, Twilight, and more power to you.
however, having volunteered as a peer counsellor, I am acquainted with many individuals who have said that they were seriously destroyed by the actions of people in this woman’s former ‘profession’, and I for one, will not invalidate their emotionally devastating experience.
has this woman, or others (such as Wayne Beeson) EVER actually said: “I am sorry” or “I was misguided” or “I did a wrong thing”? Or do they just make money on the lecture circuit and writing books running down their previous employers?
lucky for me, I was never deluded – at least not about being gay – and I never looked for a ‘cure’ either, since I knew I wasn’t ‘sick’. I’m not saying that it was easy due to many people hating gays, but at least those were two problems I didn’t have to face.
1. Wayne Besen neither worked nor volunteered for an ex-gay or antigay ministry. His previous employer was HRC. So, umm, he’s not “running down” previous employers.
2. Where is the evidence the Ann Phillips is profiting from her occasional work with Evangelicals Concerned? Unlike Exodus/FOTF, EC doesn’t have money to throw around. It would surprise me if her time weren’t being donated to EC.
It is so incredibly refreshing to hear Tari’s point of view for a change. After all, if one has never held an opinion in one’s life he or she has never had to change, if one has never done anything in one’s life to harm another, and if one has lived he or her life in such a way that he or she has never had to have a change of heart and to dedicate his or her life to educating others so they won’t make the same terrible mistake, then all I can say is that anyone who comes in contact with Tari must be some of the luckiest people in the world.
These comments raise an important point. What is the responsibility of people who once worked as ex-gay leaders and now have come to understand that they were wrong?
Often I find that folks who never went the ex-gay route expect much more from these folks than many of us ex-gay survivors.
Perhaps it is because we recognize that we were all trapped in the same system of heterosexism that compelled us to seek “change”. In ex-gay programs the oppressed so easily become the oppressors.
We let these leaders do this ex-gay stuff to us, stuff that they were doing to themselves, stuff that we felt we all needed to do to please God and most imporantly the straight male leaders in our lives who demanded our submission to their standards.
Ann has personally apologized to me; she was one of the leaders over me during my time at LIA.
Is something more public required? Clearly standing up and speaking is one way to acknowledge the wrong done and a way to undo the damage. Giving money? First I wonder how much these fromer ex-gay leaders spent themselves on pursuing their own freedom from homosexuality. They have been ripped off too.
Perhaps former Exodus leaders would do well to organize a public apology. Many have done this already in talks, blog comments and at gay affirming conferences, but perhaps they can model for current Exodus leaders how to take responsibilitiy for their lives and misguided actions.
But I cannot get away from the fact that Ann was also a fellow victim with me and we as adults allowed ourselves to be victimized. I forgive her because I have forgiven myself and I recognize that the real bad guy in all this, is the heterosexist, homophobic, sexist church which continues to ramp up the violence daily, violence that has compelled many of us to do violence to ourselves.
Peterson,
I have never been in an ex-gay program. My interest in participating in XGW has more to do with the public advocacy of discrimination that the ex-gay groups engage in. I am not particularly looking for apologies from John Paulk, Alan Chambers or Randy Thomas. I would be satisfied with their simply stopping their current devotion to Dobson’s capaign of hate and discrimination.
For those who were actual victims of the ex-gay movement, I think that your post is excellent. I wold only say that it is one thing to do and say things while one is still deluded into thinking that they are experiencing “change.” However, the things one did in the ex-gay movement after they realized that they are never going to experience change are probably the most grievous things for which they wil need to acknowledge and atone.
The point of my comment was *not* to minimize suffering. Far from it.
Rather, I think being deluded, harmed, betrayed by another — whether a family member, an ex-gay minister – whomever and WAITING for an apology does NOTHING but put the oppressor in the driver’s seat. Yet again.
Twilight, that’s your opinion, and it’s great that it worked for you. however, everyone is different, and it’s up to them if they expect – and/or – an apology. you need to understand THAT point which you don’t seem to. it’s nice to be all ‘new-age-y’, and ‘touchy-feely’, but that doesn’t work for everyone.
people get angry, grieve and heal in different ways, from people who have this sort of horrible stuff done to them, to crime victims, and survivors of crime victims, to survivors of the Nazi holocaust, to survivors of the various mass murders in places like Darfur, etc. to insist that they need to need to ‘move on’ is you actually being oppressive of them and how they feel.
and thanks, Jim B. i think it is very important to own up to one’s mistakes, especially if they have really hurt someone else. saying SORRY is very difficult. and i’d like to hear people like this woman accept some responsibility.
and yeah, most speakers do get a speaking fee. sometimes big, sometimes not. let me be very clear: i have no problem with her travel and hotel being covered, but i don’t think it is right for her to take an actual speaking fee for basically speaking about something horrible she’s done.
i am not saying that i haven’t made mistakes because i certainly have. still i don’t think that i’ve ever done anything quite this horrible. however, in the past, i have had to say sorry, and i’ve meant it. it wasn’t lip service, and sometimes it was very hard.
have any of you ever heard of the Truth and Reconcilliation events that happened in South Africa? i believe that Bishop Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela were involved in setting those up. it is a little bit of Twilight’s philosophy, but not quite because it was more forced than voluntary.
anyway, the basic idea was for people (mostly white) who did really bad things to other people (mostly black) come forward in public, and admit what they did. there was no real punishment, but there was some sort of blanket forgiveness. one of the reasons it was done was to find out what happened to many people who just disappeared.
and I think I have Wayne Beeson mixed up with someone else, another man speaking on the circuit, so if he never worked for such a ministry, my apologies to him.
Tari said:
That chip is going to break your collarbone one day.
Tari, long ago you moved from recognizing something legitimately bad to judging the life and motivations of another. Since this is a thread about a Christian retreat, I’ll also interject that redemption is the overriding theme of scripture. You seem more angry that Ann understands that she was wrong and tries to right it than if she were still working with LIA. In fact, you seem just plain angry period.
A previous commenter was correct, we have to take at least some responsibility for giving ourselves over to this or that point of view to begin with. And you have heard from someone who, unlike you, was directly affected by Ann’s ex-gay counseling. He has forgiven her and is happy to see her correcting the wrong.
I don’t see how you have greater standing to judge her than he does, but if your point is that you’re angry, you’ve made it.
Shalom,
In the interest of raising awareness with the hope of increasing the Christ Consciousness that is all of our birth rights, I invite us to pray on behalf of those GLBT folks that integrate the teachings of Homosexuals Anonymous. The AA 12 step tradition (I follow the Al-anon steps) have been very healing on my journey and yet wounding in some ways as I reflect on the teachingds from HA chapters. The danger in claiming homosexuality is a lie and an addiction is that it grants permission for those in the HA program to objectify and use another human being for a sexual “fix” or “slip in sobriety”. When I contacted Hazelden here in Minnesota and asked if HA was a conference approved group, the calming answer was no and a sadness that the sacred 12 steps get twisted up in such distorted logic.
I pray for any person that has been wounded by HA groups to find a better way to heal with the 12 step program.