-Former president Jimmy Carter voices his support for marriage equality.
-Jon Rowe considers another parallel between race and sexual orientation.
-Actor Kirk Cameron defends himself following the backlash from his recent anti-gay comments.
-The National Organization for Marriage declares itself in favor of civil unions in New Hampshire.
-The New Hampshire House rejects an effort to repeal the state’s marriage law.
-The European Court of Human Rights rules that marriage equality is not a human right.
-Meanwhile, the Inter-American Court of Human Rights rules in favor of a gay parent.
-Two men on a cruise ship are arrested in Dominica for “buggery.”
-The Finnish Parliament debates a marriage equality bill.
I read Jon Rowe’s exposition on race and orientation, and of course he’s making a good point. He pointed out some of what they have in common, but the most important factor is, how does one identify oneself in the face of certain social intrusion, abuse and discrimination? Had there never been the legacy of slavery, or more importantly to recent history, Jim Crow, passing as something one is not wouldn’t hold the same intense desire, or rejection of true identity. We can point to many cases of Jews, or Latinos or anyone who could pass as white, or change their ethnicity to advance careers or gain access into social orders they were otherwise closed off from. I bring up the issue of being a Jew, being black or gay and sometimes female, because these are the groups who have had the most social rejection, isolation and abuse and discrimination.
Those who insist that gay people can change, leave out the essential factor that gay people are COMPELLED to pass, to fool the hetero into believing they could. And all too conveniently the reason to change is allowed to be excluded from the conversation. That one risks severe punishment or worse for being gay. That such intense risks creates tremendous stress in an individual and they manifest in unhealthy behaviors.
I also bring up the famous Clark doll study, of the 1950’s. A pivotal research endeavor that pointed out what happens to young black children who are constantly told they are worthless, threatening or suspect to society at large. That coupled with actual TREATMENT as inferior and WORTHY of abuse, manifests in serious detriment to self worth, reliance and emotional health. That the psyches of young black children are damaged collectively and over their lifetimes.
One can say that this is also a serious issue that also affects a gay child the same way. They can bear witness from very young what the consequences of being honest about their identity means. The stress of that, and the constant messaging that gay people are worthless, threatening and are inferior, are the same messages that black children living under Jim Crow experienced.
Over and over again we see that those who’d reject anti Semitism, and racism and misogyny, do everything they can to justify discrimination against gay people because it’s behavioral, and not a physical issue. Actually, being Jewish is a combination of behavior and cultural identity, as is any given religious community. So it’s very contradictory and frustrating to see such rationalization and hypocrisy. More importantly, there is little acknowledgement that the anti gay and their insistence that gays can change, isn’t doing any good and never has to justify it. The conflation of homosexuality with addiction, or violent tendencies or breaching a trust, are easy comparisons THEY make. Yet reject any comparisons to how women and minorities have been treated by societies.
It’s very difficult to deal with people definitions and contexts are all over the place like a moving door. It’s deliberate and means of not handling the conversation or the historical context rightly.
It cannot be emphasized enough that passing, to maintain some kind of fiction for the abusive, is never healthy and never has been. However indifferent to that, some might be, it’s still a fact and those with more decency and sense will understand.
I’ve never heard before of the International Institute of Reorientation Therapies, have you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l2lI-wVs9I
There are several things here I have a problem with. Not getting any complaints about HARM, isn’t saying much. A good deal of the time, I believe there are some disclaimers or other contracts as to if no result is achieved, then little recourse can be as well. A person could simply just become celibate or not have any particular relationship, or accept their orientation and go on with their lives. That’s not necessarily HARM, but it’s not a failure on their part either. But it IS a failure of the goal of the therapy, which no ex gay person involved ever admits to.
The other factor not discussed here is bi sexuality, that a person who is bi, is basically just subverting their ss attraction, again it’s not really a measurable issue. Getting op sex marriage and having children, isn’t exactly a sign of changing their orientation, just covering it up. To a gay person, who has fatigue from constantly defending themselves, even in their minds and emotional privacy, being heterosexual is a matter of the grass looking greener from that side.
After a while, perhaps after already committing to much time in an op sex relationship, the disappointment is accepted or resigned to.
And it’s the reorientation therapists and the industry itself that has a profit motive, there IS no profit in being gay, that’s for sure.
What the more honest issue would be, is a therapist for ONCE, admitting what strain and stress there is on being gay in an atmosphere of systemic prejudice and threat for it.
I refer again, and I’d ask a therapist if they ever heard of the Clark doll study, and if they’d conduct a similar one on gay children and the stresses of being gay under such societal pressure to change.
And also why such pressure to change IS so pernicious and attached to religious and political isolation and punishment.
This exceptionally DRY interview doesn’t get at the heart of how such pressure has an extreme influence on the mental stress and desire to not be gay on any given respective client and that especially, as a minority, gay people have less options and opportunity for a satisfactory ss relationship, when so many of their peers are put under similar or worse societal pressure to change. It’s a calculated and extremely deliberate mission that gay people never coalesce, find each other, be together and achieve relationship success that heterosexuals are allowed and supported in without challenge.
This needs to go viral. Hope you enjoy.
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2012/03/the-bible-and-homosexuality-a-biblical-presentation-with-matthew-vines/