Subtitle: A Practical Guide for Men and Women Looking For a Way Out.
Alan Chambers: “On the conservative side we hear the claim that homosexuality is a choice. One can choose to be a homosexual or a heterosexual. On the other, more liberal side, we hear that there is no choice at all when it comes to homosexual behavior. It’s an inborn trait.” [p13]
In the first part of that paragraph, Chambers defines homosexuality as a state of being: “to be a homosexual.” Then switches gears, defines homosexuality as a behavior, and voilà, the pro-gay movement now considers sexual behavior to be as uncontrollable as an epileptic attack.
Doublespeak: evasive, ambiguous language that is intended to deceive or confuse.
Not much new in this book. It’s mostly a stylish retelling of the “freedom” from same-sex attraction consists of celibacy through Jesus Christ” story.
Though I don’t get into it in any depth here, we do get a little insight into Chambers’ “dysfunctional” past, and of course, his torturous traverse down “leaving homosexuality” lane.
Alan Chambers: …My prayer is that either now or in the near future you’ll want to join those of us who have decided against building a life based on sexual attraction and, instead, decided to follow… …Jesus Christ…
“and, instead”, or in official Exodus terms, “the opposite of.”
Mentioned throughout, verbatim and in many other combinations, their favorite dodge:
The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality, it’s holiness
Intended or not, the promotional message is the same: same-sex attraction is unholy.
Unholy: base, blameful, corrupt, culpable, depraved, dishonest, evil, godless, guilty, heinous, immoral, impious, iniquitous, irreligious, irreverent, irreverential, profane, sinful, ungodly, unhallowed, unsanctified, vile, wicked
In regard to Chambers’ prayer (“no matter where you are in the continuum of homosexuality”) to “instead” follow Jesus Christ, I would say that to judge someone else’s relationship with God, is to judge God’s relationship with them.
Chambers often refers to his own… … …as “the gay life.”
Though he does acknowledge the existence of our long term relationships…sort of…
Alan Chambers: There’s no doubt that acting out sexually is an easy—but extremely fleeting—fix for the pain caused by no intimacy. But the speed that such acting out becomes first a habit and then a lifestyle makes it dangerous. Have you realized that a life of brief sexual encounters or even extended same-sex relationships doesn’t ultimately make for a life of relational satisfaction? [emphasis added, p58]
Our relationships with our partners, our loves, our husbands, our wives, reduced to nothing more than “extended” trysts, temporary and devoid of intimacy. The director’s cut of a one night stand, if you will.
Alan Chambers: As sometimes happens in homosexual relationships, it was becoming emotionally addictive. It was at its core selfish, self-serving, and self-focused. And though you can find that in heterosexuality too, that self-focus is at the heart of much of homosexuality. [p70]
She had quite a bit to say about avoiding “triggers” (anyone you’re attracted to), and seemed to enjoy throwing around the term “emotional dependency.” Which, among other things, she describes as:
…when your thoughts are always centered on your friend.
I realize there are indeed unhealthy forms of emotional dependency, but when used in this book, and in their literature, I see it as a political attempt to redefine our human need for intimacy as a mental illness.
Emotional dependency occurs when the ongoing presence and nurturing of another is believed to be necessary for personal security.
The “Emotional Dependency for Guys” booklet gives a list of indicating thoughts that may accompany this condition, some of which include:
(Sounds like a love song to me.)
Nowhere in Chambers’ book is the actual “sin” of homosexuality defined in any practical terms beyond the nebulous Biblical assertion that it is somehow “rebellion against God.”
One of the problems with that is that God is Love, as even the staunchest of anti-gay Christians will admit to.
If God is Love, then our love would be a rebellion against love itself. And if the nature of love is unity, then love rebelling against itself is impossible.
Thus the need to redefine our love as “emotional dependency.”
That’s two products.
1. Our love is nothing more than an illness.
2. We don’t know that there’s a difference.
In Chapter 3, under the section “Forgiving the Church,” he “offers”:
Many gays and lesbians need to forgive the Christian church. We Christians haven’t always demonstrated the love of Christ that we should have. In fact, if I had one thing to say to my fellow believers who are the body of Christ regarding how we have historically treated homosexuals it would be, “We were wrong in our attitudes and thus mishandled the situation.” In the name of Christ many people helped create the angry and bitter Pro-gay Movement because of their pride and arrogance and un-Christlike heart toward people in need. Let’s wake up. Let’s repent of our hostility and recommit to boldly loving sinners as Christ did…and does.
Stop “loving” us politically, Mr. Chambers, and I’m confident that you’ll see a marked decrease in the amount of ‘anger and bitterness’ emanating from the pro-sinnergay movement.
In Chapter 2, we find that “realistic expectations” come down to…
…a life of obedience, which includes the biblical (sic) concept of self-denial.
…Self Denial is found in several places in the Bible, including this verse in Matthew 16:24:
Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, forget own interests] (sic) and take up his cross and follow me.
…You can expect any (or all) of these possibilities in the course of your future:
-Diminished same-sex attraction.
-Periods of fluctuating same-sex attractions.
-A lessening of importance on your sexuality overall.
Not to mention the improvement on God’s design of voluntary castration. Be it chemical or surgical, technology has finally caught up with sexual sin.
It’s even Biblical:
Matthew 19:11-12: 11Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage [a] because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Matthew 18:7-9: 7″Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! 8If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.
(And if thine libido offend thee…)
In regard to meeting his wife Leslie, he says, “I was fully entering into puberty at age 24.” (p77)
I get the impression that he wasn’t just “fully” entering into puberty, to him, he was finally entering into “heterosexuality.” A huge accomplishment given the nature of his absent father, attachment to mother, sexual abuse, desire to be a girl, being bullied, childhood/upbringing.
Chapter 4 is about living a life of honesty, and he’s pretty open about his feminine nature as a child. Nothing really odd about it for a kid who’s gay.
I was born a boy, but from my earliest memory I wanted to be something else. The first shoes I could walk in were a pair of white pumps. As early as three or four I was raiding my sister’s closet and pretending to be her little sister. I was mistakenly forming the identity of a girl. For reasons I wasn’t aware of and that were not my fault, I was accepting an identity that was not what God had designed for me. [P49]
…I would dust the furniture just so I could put things where I liked them to be. [p50]
Sans the ability to make cleaning sound appealing, he continues to subscribe to, and promote, the anti-gay meme that orientation is conditioned.
“Correlation does not imply causation” is a phrase used in science and statistics to emphasize that correlation between two variables does not automatically imply that one causes the other
It’s appallingly common in the gay community to have literally hundreds of sexual partners over a lifetime… …43% of the white male homosexual (sic) surveyed estimated they’d had sex with 500 or more different partners—28% had sex with over 1,000 partners. [p114]
Mike Goeke authors chapter 8, “Same-Sex Attraction and Marriage”
Mike Goeke: As Alan has pointed out, heterosexuality isn’t your primary goal, and neither should your goal be limited to the legal survival of your marriage. God is not honored by two people married on paper and living separate/or miserable lives. God will transform your marriage!
We then get examples of situations in which the wife inadvertently finds out about her husband’s homosexuality, and then a litany of emotions that may befall the husband who’s been found out.
The parts that stood out for me:
Brokenness. As you begin the process of dealing with your same-sex leanings, you will likely see and understand your sin and your need for a Savior in a new and profound way. [p119]
In many cases, the husband may struggle with sexual performance. Sometimes the reality is that his body doesn’t respond easily to the female body. [p126]
I traded cheap, flashy sex for priceless physical intimacy with my wife. [p127]
In Chapter 9 “Dealing with Temptations and Critics,” Chambers says that:
Temptation [same-sex attraction] will happen today, tomorrow, and 20 years from now. …and that it…could come at any time. [p131]
…When you’ve been invited to eat lunch at a lush banquet table, you’d be foolish to chuck it all and go back to eating out of Dumpsters (sic) [p133].
Chapter 10, “This is the Life We Were Created to Live”
I often pray that gay activists will catch glimpses of what God created them for so they will hunger for that to become a reality. [p146]
It came to me that we in the church have this description of those outside the body of Christ as “lost.” Although that’s an apt word for their condition, God challenged me to start referring to them as “missing” because he created each of us for a purpose. [p147]
Owning mailboxes and computers, Alan Chambers and the Exodus staff (et al) know perfectly well that there are a plethora of happy, well adjusted LGBT citizens living their lives in peace and contributing to society—and thus—fully and harmoniously integrated with creation.
To write and publish a book that implies opposite—again and again and again—I find, to be intentional character assasination.
The Exodus PR parade bills itself as an organization that exists simply to help those with “unwanted attractions.” Their political activities belie them, which would explain their need for character assassination.
A recent comment I read summed it up nicely.
“Isn’t it sad when the people who offer the “cure” are the same ones who create the need?”