April is chock full of teachable moments lest any teacher’s plan book go empty. We have Keep America Beautiful Month, National Poetry Month, and National Frog Month. April birthdays include Leonardo DaVinci, William Shakespeare, and Daffy Duck.
Now, Dr. Warren Throckmorton, professor of psychology at Grove City College, and author of the Sexual Identity Therapy Framework has come up with The Golden Rule Initiative. Dr. Throckmorton’s aim is to provide an appropriate response for straight, evangelical students to the GLSEN sponsored Day of Silence on April 25.
The Day of Silence began 12 years ago with the purpose of proactively bringing attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying, and harassment on high school campuses. GLSEN’s DOS has increased in participation and exposure each year since its inception, but opposition remains from “christians”, some of whom refuse to allow their children to attend school on that day.
Day of Silence participants are most notably opposed by the ADF sponsored Day of Truth which occurs on April 28 and was established 4 years ago to “counter the promotion of the homosexual agenda and express an opposing viewpoint from a Christian perspective”. It reminds me of one of those “loving” and “compassionate” Sally Kern rallies.
While Dr. Throckmorton may have the best of intentions with the Golden Rule Initiative, he’s getting mixed reviews from all sides. He says…
Although we are being criticized by some on both extremes, I believe the Golden Rule Initiative is an effort to affirm consensus in attitude and action that schools should be safe places to learn for all students. We all should agree that bullying and harassment of GLBT students is wrong. The Golden Rule group is making a stand on that common ground.
I believe there’s merit to Dr. Throckmorton’s idea. Now, lest you begin rotting your tomatoes to toss my way, hear me out on this. I grew up in an anti-gay, evangelical home. It took years for me to understand the depth of the bigotry because it was couched in scripture, dowsed in guilt, and lit up with the flames of charismatic fundamentalism. I was not as clear-thinking and transparent in my youth as some in the amazing crop of young people I’ve had the privilege of befriending. For me, it would have been a blessing to have been offered a viable alternative for responding to my GLBT peers, and I would have loved to have been given “permission” to participate in a way that might result in making friends with the kids I’d been taught to hate and fear. It would have been a step forward for a young person in my shoes.
I understand that many view the Golden Rule Initiative as a distraction from the very important and vital message of The Day of Silence. And I agree that the GRI is not the ultimate goal, merely a step forward. Having spent countless hours with today’s youth, I believe the GRI could begin a dialog resulting in students having the courage to step forward and treat their GLBT peers as they want to be treated by remaining silent with them for possibly the remainder of the day or on the DOS next year. Recognizing that I’m at times a bit naive and idealistic, I still honestly believe it could happen.
Ultimately, the Golden Rule Initiative, as a response for straight evangelical students to the Day Of Silence, will be as meaningful as the individual students participating make it. There is no place for arrogance or condemnation in this discussion, and that frame of mind should begin with all Christians, be they gay or straight.
Note: These views are mine and do not necessarily reflect the views of the other writers at Ex-Gay Watch.
It’s definitely better than Day of Truth, but his description on his site is so horribly vague that it’s meaningless. The Golden Rule should be observed everyday, and I think he’d agree, so I’m kinda wondering what he means by this other than to appropriate the day from LGBT youth and erase their identity.
I mean, it takes a certain amount of privilege to say, “Lets just be nice to everyone instead of making everything about gay people.” People in the dominant group along any axis of identity seem to have a lot invested in ignoring others.
“We all should agree that bullying and harassment of GLBT students is wrong.”
If that’s what you believe then support the day of silence. That’s all it’s about, isn’t it? I agree with Alex.
The Golden Rule has so much to do with Christ’s second greatest commandment, to love our neighbours as we love ourselves. Seriously, if both can be executed, many issues in relations to religious intolerance can be solved.
But it can only start when religious institutions, such as those that created the “The Day Of Truth” stop blinding the public eyes from the anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and violence that is happening. They need to look upon themselves and realise, they too would not like to be hated against.
Sad to say as it stands now, they seem to condone hatred towards LGBTs, making out LGBTs as a number one enemy,and manipulatively often in the guise of what they say is “love”. Alas, they love to create segregation among people, and mostly they love to have the right to be self-righteous.
Someone should ask Dr. Throckmorton why evangelicals need a response at all. If they don’t support “day of silence’ then don’t support it. If they support the message then support it, but for otherwise, get out of it. Evangelicals don’t need a response to the Day of Silence, so why offer them one.
The real and appropriate response is to allow GLBT youth and their supporters to speak or have their day of silence. To try an overshadow them with your “response” goes against the golden rule. Would you want people to overshadow your event with a response event? I doubt it, yet you are willing to do it to someone else? How is that the golden rule?
Here’s my take on the issue:
I like spreading the golden rule because it exists throughout time, across religions and cultures, throughout the world. It really is a universal law. MY problem is that they only use a Christian take on it. I guess that’s the point – but what that amounts to is prosetylization in public schools. Handing out a card that quotes the book of Luke might offend Jewish students, who follow the same rule from their bible in Leviticus 19:18. But at the same time, handing out a card from any part of the bible might offend Buddhists, who are commanded to observe the Ethic of Reciprocity from their own sources.
If Christian students simply handed out a card without quoting a biblical verse, without feeling the need to justify it through pushing scripture, that would prove they really do care about spreading the golden rule, and not something more selfish like proselytizing or pushing an opposing point of view.
What I said at Truth Wins Out.
The Day of Silence honors the Golden Rule; Throckmorton’s proposal trivializes it.
The Day of Silence explicitly opposes antigay discrimination; Throckmorton’s anti-anti-violence proposal is so vague that it effectively opposes nothing.
Many Day of Silence participants are Christian or Jewish; Throckmorton’s anti-anti-violence protesters certainly do not represent values that I consider Christian.
Instead of allying with opponents of violence, Throckmorton is making antiviolence advocates the enemy and cozying up to antigay parents.
I went around and around with this on Dr. T’s blog. My opinion initially was similar to Alex’s as well.
Many times I have preferred to discuss the meaning of the golden rule and how gays are definitively excluded from it at conservative blogs frequented by those of strong religious belief. Usually Christian. Few Jews seem to be interested in these sites.
However, it was extremely difficult to engage these conservatives on the intent and the results that the Golden Rule is for.
Even it’s intention being at the foundation of the principles of the Bill of Rights and Constitution.
Not only by the GR’s intent, but also in how gay people respond to being violated.
Which most importantly is not in kind.
However, I have found the very Christians who give into sermons rather than dialogue, virtually do so only when GLBT issues are discussed. It looks like they truly DO want to exclude gay people from EVERYTHING, especially the golden rule and any context of that rule on gay lives.
Even excluding gay people from discussions about gay people.
In the end, several of the posters at Dr. T’s blog on this personalized the issue and eventually the whole idea looked self serving and like an empty gesture that was less about DOS and more about what ex gays tend to further.
And most frustrating of all, I did inform them that sometimes a well intentioned person can be out of their depth and do more harm than good and ex gays tend to be that way.
They talk at cross purposes, and mostly hurt gay people, regardless of having actual or intended animus towards gay people.
And nothing, absolutely NOTHING I said, could convince them they do more harm than good regardless of what they go about doing from day to day.
I found this denial to be disturbing and strange.
Usually people who know they are incompetent for a task, stand aside and let those who ARE more qualified get to it.
Ex gays won’t admit to something like that, and indeed confuse those that think they are.
I also mentioned that the Golden Rule can be initiated any day of the year. No need to wait for an occasion like DOS to do that.
But since it’s really convincing people that change is possible and being a gay person isn’t necessary or desired for a happy life, then their goal really is less about the safety of gay children, but the advancement of the ex gay ideal.
That ex GAYS be accepted and unchallenged.
There were a lot of responses to Dr. T’s idea. And it was clear that Alex and the others here saw a trivialization or dilution from the intent of the DOS are absolutely right.
To concur with:
~~~
And to further recognize:
Very nice, Joe. So simple, yet so profound.
I often wonder, if the DOS, if what I consider fair and honest portrayals of gays in the mainstream media, if facts about our lifespans, and risk factors for illness are “propaganda” for the “homosexual agenda” — then what would evangelicals consider appropriate?
What should be the proper response of LGBT teachers, students, and staff members to the problem of name-calling and bullying?
To echo Emproph, I agree with Joe as well.
Hear hear. And to that end, I still don’t understand why more Christian groups don’t support DoS. I don’t buy the excuse that no matter how much we clam DoS is about protesting violence and bullying, that it is also about promoting acceptance, and thus the reason for not supporting it. I can understand not being involved if it’s not something that moves you personally, but the deliberate counter-protesting and misrepresentation of what DoS is about is so ironically not-Christian that it bothers me to no end.
The one thing that really bugs me about the “Day of Truth” is the name itself. Since when has their one opinion become the all-embracing truth in this world? I’m not saying that they don’t have a right to their opinion; I am saying that they don’t have the right to declare their opinion as the ultimate truth in all things concerning homosexuality and its place in society.
If I”m not mistaken, the premise of the DOS is the Golden Rule. A lot of the straight kids stick up for gay kids by participating and demonstrating that anyone can empathize with people who are bullied. Last time I checked, evangelical students were not being bullied for their religion by gay kids, so what is the need for a ‘response’? I think this is part of the right-wing’s effort to recreate themselves as victims and/or dilute the effectiveness of the DOS. Sorry, Dr. T., but I don’t buy it.
You don’t have to be super-perspicacious to work out why the ex-gay brigade opposes the Day of Silence.
There are, no doubt, various reasons why someone with a non-heterosexual orientation may have difficulty in accepting it and may wish to change it, but discrimination, harassment and bullying definitely constitute one of them.
To the extent that the Day of Silence succeeds in its objective, to that same extent will the potential clientele of ex-gay ministries diminish.
I think that the Golden Rule effort is less in response to the Day of Silence than it is a response to the Day of Truth and the effort to keep kids home.
I think Throckmorton saw these efforts for what they are, non-charitable at best, and tried to think of a response that conservative kids could have.
Pragmatically, we aren’t going to be having the local Assemblies of God kids signing up to be silent, or at least not any time soon. What then can be reasonably expected?
I think that the Golden Rule is a FAR better response than the currently enacted alternatives. If we can get Christian kids to recall that they are called to treat each other with respect – including their gay neighbors – then much is accomplished.
And even if we can’t get neighborly treatment any time soon, if we can do away with the “Truth” claims or the “I’m staying home because I so hate gay folks” actions, then we are ahead.
So while I wish it was the natural and automatic response of Christian kids to jump at the opportunity to support their gay friends who are being mistreated (ya know, old fashioned Christianity), until that day comes I’ll welcome a Golden Rule effort as the best of the alternatives.
My big issue with the proposed response is that from where I sit, it’s little more than self-delusion. It gives those who participate to say, “Yes, we really believe everyone should be treated with dignity and respect,” while remaining silent on specific instances (or a series of instances) where people aren’t being treated with dignity and respect. To put it bluntly, it’s the equivalent of holding an “End World Hunger” event outdoors and not actually offering any of the food at the event to the starving children huddled together a hundred feet down the street.
Why can’t the conservative response to the Day of Silence simply be, “Yes, I agree that you shouldn’t be bullied.”
John,
I felt inspired by your words. This is what I wonder too! Why can’t the response be EMPATHY. A sense of being heard, understood, acknowledged. Why do people always feel they need a response when sometimes no response is the best response.
Joe
Am I the only one who is bothered that the GRI logo is even a rip of the DoS version?
What really perturbs me is that some christian/anti-gay groups are calling a day of silence “disprutive.” I can’t think of anything less disruptive than silence. See link.
https://www.illinoisfamily.org/news/contentview.asp?c=33824
Perhaps a little “dispruptive silence” might do the christian/anti-gay groups a lot of good.
Addressing the Illinois link Phil provided:
I guess they should also ban ‘free days’ based on purely religious events(Like Holy Week, or the birth of Jesus Christ). Education shouldn’t be religousized by taking a day off, ultimately disrupting the educational process. What do you think?
Ohhh, evidence. I wonder what they mean by homosexual. The ex-gays?, the very masculine, closeted homosexual?, or maybe homosexuals from another country?. I believe when they say homosexual, their not reffering to homosexual relationships.
If, on the other hand, gays in illinois are not bullied, harassed or negatively affected due to christian belief(becasue of being condemned along the lines of ‘worst than terrorists’ or ‘intrinsic moral evil’), then… this is but a reminder of what once was. Like a Marthin Luther King ‘free day’.
By all means, if theirs not going to be any/barely education hapening then theirs no reason to send your kids to school. Unless you accept gays and want to show your support. If you just tolerate them because of your belief, then schools should not MAKE your kids go to school. Politicized, maybe… but thats not the essence of the Day of Silence, its aspiring for a gay-accepting community.
I think the fact that they are silent was by design. In an educational environment silence is the LEAST disruptive thing a student can do. I don’t know how many times throughout my education that an teacher, professor, or other instructor had to yell because she couldn’t be heard over the din.
Disruptive, hardly. Kid walks in, hands card to teacher, teacher knows not to call on him/her that day. It would be no different than if half the kids had laryngitis or some other illness/injury that kept them from speaking in class, but they can still go to class.
well…silence being disruptive really is dependent on the sort of lesson a teacher has planned….but yes…for the most part, and for the “typical” teacher…silence is golden…
in fact, i’d love it if every one of my 4th graders would bring a card that said they were going to be silent for the whole day…and I don’t consider myself a typical teacher. lol
I had another thought about all this…..I think it would be cool…if any of the gay kids or the kids participating in the DOS….could collect some of those GRI cards….and use them on the Day of Truth.
I just ‘happened’ upon this website. I grew up in an Assemblies of God home, went to church every Sunday & to this day most of my closest friends are born again practising Pentecostals. Luckily I have good freinds who realize I’m happy in my 15 year ‘marriage’ to my partner & nobody is trying to convert me. Several of my closest friends are Pastors as well as both my parents.
My question is ‘Has anybody out there actually been changed?’ I would like to know if there has been an follow-up work on Gays that claimed to recieve ‘deliberance’ or have been ‘saved’ & claim to be no longer gay. I know of 1 such situation from many years back i wittnessed, said individual STILL to this day claims to be changed however said individual has been seen cruising noted gay hangouts in our town & NOT to witness if you get my drift!!
I have freinds in the church that to this very day struggle with these issues many have been diagnosed as clinically depressed because of this. They seem caught between being what they know in their hearts they are & between family or friends trying to make them what God wants them to be.
It’s a subject I always had an interest in I’d seen testimonies on 700 Club, 100 Huntly St BUT would like to see the progress of these men & women 10 years after their big public speel.
Any help would be appreciated.
Eric
Welcome to XGW Eric! I grew up in the AoG as well. It’s refreshing to hear that your pentecostal friends and parents remain close with you without trying to convert you.
You can dig around here and find the sort of information you seek. The latest “study” can be found by searching “Jones & Yarhouse.”
I hope you will stay and add your valuable persepective to our discussions here.
Christians are called to witness to God’s Truth –that’s what being a Christian means. But they can also witness non-vocally by displaying the simple message: “You don’t have to be gay to love one another. –In fact, you don’t HAVE to be gay at all! No one does.”
Follow-up, if questions are asked, would be to engage in loving dialog, sharing the testimonies of former homosexuals who’ve “been there, done that; and it doesn’t work.” That, plus the message of a heavenly Father who never stops loving you, warns that certain behaviors have devastating consequences which can be avoided, and forgiveness is always available for anyone who wants to turn their lives around to following the Way of Christ Jesus. His Good News is that the reign of Love and Righteousness is the threshold of heaven –available to all of us sinners.
Any efforts toward coercion, force, punishment, persecution, violence or harassment will prove counterproductive.
Dave,
The sort of response you’re talking about is one of the reasons I like Dr. T’s idea. Are you saying by your comment that you are not in favor of the Golden Rule Initiative?
Wrong. Sorry. Being a Christian means following the teachings and examples of Christ. The only place it says in the Scriptures that Christians are “called to be” anything is:
We know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to his purpose, are called to be saints. – Epistle to the Romans (St. Paul) 8:28
We witness with our lives, not just with our mouths. As St. Francis said, “Preach the Gospel at all times; use words only when necessary.”
Pam, Alan:
What I am saying is that I agree with Dr. T’s idea, which is to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. If I am wrong, I would want others to set me straight. You are trying to do just that, but what you say seems to miss the point of Jesus’ Great Commission to “Go to the people of all nations and make them my disciples. …teach them to do everything I have told you…” (Mt. 28:19-20)
Jesus told us much more than the Golden Rule, to show that “doing unto others” would include “speaking the truth in love” as He did, while at the same time living and sharing the Gospel of Truth and Righteousness and Love –that is, to do His Father’s will.”