Exodus International has turned much of their public voice over to Nancy Brown. In addition to being the principal writer on Exodus Media Blog, she also authored some of the FAQs that Exodus posts on their website.

Considering that Nancy is not same-sex attracted and has not ever identified as gay, it is difficult to see why she was selected. But perhaps it is this lack of personal experience or context that uniquely qualifies her to shamelessly make bizarre claims without blushing. Or maybe it is a lack of knowledge about statistical sampling that gives her confidence to make assertions that a more knowledgeable person would find shameful.

Whatever the reason, Nancy’s answers to some of the questions on the FAQ’s are so clearly false that a legitimate organization would immediately pull them and remove her from any access to the public. However, it seems that Exodus currently serves primarily as an ant-gay activist organization – or at least that appears to be the extent of their public efforts – so perhaps it is no surprise that Nancy’s laughable assertions are featured at the Exodus website.

As an illustration of her ignorance and malice, let’s take a look at the FAQ:

Do homosexuals have committed, monogamous relationships?

Do gays really stay together?

Nancy’s tells us “the answer is NO!”

Now I don’t need to tell this crowd that if it wasn’t so hateful, this would be funny. Many, many people who participate in the success of this site are in relationships that are committed, monogamous, and very long term. So what could Nancy possibly use in her efforts to willfully ignore the evidence in front of her eyes?

Nancy makes three arguments: spiritual, psychological, and statistical. She fails miserably at all three.


Nancy posits an unusual theological point. Continuing Exodus’ fondness for redefining words to the point that they have little relationship to what the rest of the word thinks, Nancy decides that “committed” has nothing to do with the commitments one makes to a spouse but instead relies on compliance with Nancy’s religious belief

When the word “committed” is used it can mean different things. There are those who have long-term contractual relationships with partners in a business commitment and marriage relationships where the Holy Spirit is not the source. Many people become involved in relationships as a result of their own need to be preferred, but a person can only be truly committed in a relationship if he or she is acting under the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Well first off, Nancy, when someone asks if gays are in committed relationships, it doesn’t mean different things. It means are they committed to each other.

And second, Nancy, Christian faith is not a required component of commitment. By your definition no Muslims, Athiests, Budhists, or other non-Christians are in committed, monogamous relationships. This is a shameful, arrogant, condescending, sinful dogma that verges on heresy.

I think it fair to say that this new doctrine of Exodus is no more founded in Scripture than is their silly notion that identities are sinful. No religious scholar with any sense of honor would make the argument that committed fidelity is reliant on whether or not the person is led by the Holy Spirit.

Nancy’s spiritual argument – utter nonsense. And more than a little arrogant.


Nancy Brown shares the same qualifications to discuss psychology as does Elmer Fudd: none. But, naturally this doesn’t stop her.

Psychologically speaking the answer is NO! Homosexuality does not become a factor in a person’s life due to a deficit in sexual activity; it becomes a factor due to a deficit in emotional intimacy. Homosexuality may fill the gap with sexual activity but it does not fulfill the need for the self-identity, emotional affirmation, and acceptance designed by God to give each of us a sense of preference and well-being.

This is a continuation of the claim that you often see that gay people don’t really love each other, it’s just about sex. Nancy sees it as “a deficit in emotional intimacy”.

It’s difficult to see how an organization that claims to be knowledgeable about gay people could argue this position. Either they care far more about advocacy than honesty or they have chosen to believe their own lies. But perhaps it isn’t that hard to deny the basic humanity of those whom you despise; history is full of examples. At one point some southern preachers claimed that black people didn’t have souls. The Nazis portrayed Jews as rats and vermin.

Wikipedia reminds us that “Sociologists and historians often view dehumanization as central to some or all types of wars.” In this way attrocities can be waged on persons that “don’t have feelings the way that you do.” In her war on the lives and freedoms of gays and lesbians, Nancy has chosen just this tactic.

Or, alternately, perhaps Nancy doesn’t know what love looks like. Perhaps she’s never had that feeling you get when you glance across the room at that special person and feel that rush of euphoria just to be a part of her life, or stayed up all night nursing your man through an illness, or felt the gut-wrenching fear when you hear sirens in the area of your home and can’t reach your spouse, or experienced the sense of awe when you tell the woman in your life that you will love her and honor her for the rest of your life. Reading Nancy’s testimony one gets the sense that perhaps she has never had those exeriences.

But whatever Nancy’s motivation she claims that gay couples do not come together in a bond of emotional intimacy – all gays do is rut.

Nancy’s psychological argument – utter nonsense. And more than a little hateful.


Now surely an honest person would seek to honestly portray relationships as they are. And surely an intelligent person would either uses statistics correctly or – recognizing their own inadequacies – refrain from using them at all. Nancy sallies forth undaunted.

Statistically speaking the answer would be NO!

Nancy uses five “statistics” to support her claim

Despite claims of greater numbers only .9% of men and .4% of women have had exclusively same sex relationship since the age of 18

I’m really not sure what she’s getting at, but this comes from a book written in 1984. Either she’s saying that less than 1% of the total population 22 years ago had come out without trying a relationship with the opposite sex – in which case I’d say, “so what”. How does that have any reflection on whether relationships which gay people are currently in are committed or monogamous? The current prime rate is about 8.5% but that has little bearing on the color of my drapes.

Or else she’s saying that .9% of men and .4% of women (in 1984) were with opposite sex partners since they were 18. To which I say, “WOW!!! That’s amazing”. This means that more than a quarter third of gay men (.9 of 3.4 2.3) were with their partner since they were 18. I only know one heterosexual who fits that criterion.

Only 15% of gay couples have a 12-year or longer current relationship

Only 5% of gay couples have a 20-year or longer current relationship

OK, this is just funny. Nancy says that committed, monogamous relationships don’t exist because only about 14 million gays in the US are in them for more than 12 years. (Didn’t anyone review this FAQ before Nancy posted it just to make sure it didn’t look like it was written by a mental patient?)

And secondly, this “statistic” is taken from an online survey. Online surveys, while useful, are not statistically valid. They almost never reflect a realistic portrayal of a demographic, unless the demographic is “those who answer online surveys”. And just in case that no one at Exodus has ever had a beginner course in statistics (which is possible), the survey website provides this information:

the results of the Gay/Lesbian Consumer Online Census are not statistically projectable to the entire population

next Nancy tells us

Median range for the number of sexual partners in the lifetime of the average homosexual is 101-500

Where does she get this “fact”? From NARTH.

Repeating NARTH’s analysis (never a good idea), Nancy extrapolates on the Exodus website the results from a 1997 telephone survey of gay men over the age of 50 living in Australia and claims them to be factual for all gays and lesbians. She conveniently forgets to qualify her “research”. She also forgets to mention that 21.6% of these men were in a monogamous relationship (ya know, the type that doesn’t exist).

Trying to pass this off as a “fact” about whether or not gays have committed monogamous relationships requires either a great deal of ignorance or a love for deceipt. It takes real effort to be more duplicitous than NARTH.

Self described “monogamous” homosexual couples in the past year averaged 3-5 “extra-marital” partners

For this “fact”, Nancy turns to the Family Research Council. But you might notice that they phrased this quote differently:

The Handbook of Family Diversity reported a study in which “many self-described ‘monogamous’ couples reported an average of three to five partners in the past year.

Nancy removes “many” and that the report was only about men and presents the “study results” as applying to all monogamous gay and lesbian couples. Was that an accidental slip?

I don’t have immediate access to the Handbook of Family Diversity (Demo, Allen, and Fine) but anyone who does can feel free to comment. For now let’s just say that based on the credibility level of Nancy Brown (or the Family Research Council for that matter) I think it’s reasonable to assume that this “fact” is no more valid than any of her other one.

But as to whether gay couples do exist, I can look beyond Nancy’s numbers and look at the 2002 census (which certainly cannot be dismissed as homosexual propaganda). Historically, gay persons have been very suspicious of governmental efforts to keep tabs on them. And it should also be remembered that in 2002 “sodomy” was still illegal in a fourteen states. Nonetheless, 1,202,418 were willing to hunt down and tick the box that told the Federal Government that the same sex person with whom they were living was their “unmarried partner”. I think it fair to say that this number is on the low side. But supposing that there were only 1.2 million gays and lesbians in relationships, wouldn’t it be the height of ignorance to claim that none of them were committed or monogamous?

Nancy’s statistical argument – utter nonsense. And more than a little dishonest.

In conclusion, Nancy says

The evidence biblically, psychologically, and statistically demonstrates that committed homosexual relationships are practically non-existent.

In conclusion, I say that Nancy Brown – and Exodus International – makes statements that are arrogant, hateful, and dishonest. The fact that a vast number of gay people are in loving, caring, committed, monogamous, long-term, stable, and happy relationships is irrefutable. And Exodus is not ignorant of that fact. Alan Chambers is personally aware of the many gay people in such relationships that participate at this site; and to continue to propagate at the Exodus website the evil lie that such relationships are practically non-existent shows a willful contempt for honesty.

Categorized in:

Tagged in: