Metrosexuality may be gaining ground — against the wishes of one exgay activist and the leading antigay media organizations.
Google finds several articles in the antigay media in which Exodus official Randy Thomas wags his fingers at modern men who practice good grooming and tasteful attire.
I briefly assessed some of these prejudices against metrosexuality here in September 2003. (On the following day, my un-metrosexual partner discussed his own aversion to labels.)
Thomas, unfortunately, likes to label people. In one particular remark last year, Thomas accused well-groomed men (metrosexuals) and supporters of women’s equality and opponents of violence against women (the “secular feminist movement”) of disobeying God and contributing to a culture of private sexual liberty, sexual abuse, manhating and womanhating:
“We live in a society that is doing everything it can to obliterate God-given gender roles to begin with,” Thomas says, citing the recently-created term of ‘metrosexual’ and the secular feminist movement. “We also have a very sexually permissive and abusive society that sometimes creates environments which cause people to not want to identify with their own gender. Mysandry (fear and/or hatred of men) and mysogyny (fear and/or hatred of women) are rampant and even celebrated.”
It appears, however, Thomas and the antigay movement’s media organs are losing some ground in their battle against metrosexuality:
This week, an Associated Press reporter reports that retail growth in the metrosexual market is stronger than ever. Sales are up anywhere from 10 percent to 68 percent in the past year, according to various measures.
According to the article, thirtysomething male executives have discovered that good looks make a big difference in their careers, as they compete for jobs — and sales — with more youthful-looking twentysomethings. While cosmetics companies have catered to career ladder-climbers for years, now even CVS is getting into the act with an exclusive line of men’s grooming products.
Men are feeling pressure to groom themselves not only for career growth, but also from the women in their lives — and from increasingly polished celebrity athletes in the sports that they follow.
Marketing expert Karen Grant predicts that sales of metrosexual products will continue to soar for another two years before leveling off.
But there’s still hope for Thomas: After all, his organization has the support of hundreds of thousands of exgays — right?
oh thank god it had been a while since you mentioned Randy Thomas last I was beginning to wonder what had happened *wink*
Yeah, Randy is always good for at least a laugh. If not more. He seems to have an unerring ability to reduce serious ethical issues to parody. If Randy Thomas did not exist, we would have to invent him.
One is put in mind of King Canute standing by shore the the ocean and demanding the tide turn back.
I’ve been trying to figure this dynamic out. Has MikeA had a “thing” for Randy?
There have been articles on “metrosexuality” in the lib media for a couple of years.
I’m not being flippant, by the way. I’m just trying to figure out the dynamics.
What God given gender roles?
Whether a basket weaver or one who fashions and throws a lance or paints a shield, steals in the night among enemies, divines the weather or grinds corn for bread…
All of us has two hands…
With our two feet, do we all not dance?
Never underestimate the wisdom of the First Peoples.
thirtysomething male executives have discovered that good looks make a big difference in their careers, as they compete for jobs — and sales — with more youthful-looking twentysomethings.
Amen.
(Off topic: First Peoples? You mean Indians or Native Americans? Yo support gay rights does one have to buy into the liberal claptrap? Just wondering, because that would really suck.)
Patrick
Regan sometimes shares with us the perspective of her native american ancestors. She uses the term “First People” and I figure if that’s the term her people prefer, fine with me.
My mother used “Indian”, but she wasn’t close with her family so I don’t know what the Cherokee called themselves.
Thanks Timothy!
To clarify for you Patrick, yes, Tim is correct.
I’m just offering up some of what I learned from both my grandmother’s cultures that were Creek and Chicasaw, respectively.
Women were not relegated to certain tasks or status because they were women, but what their talent would reveal.
Not every woman-such as myself-was made to believe her only or BEST goal was to be mated and a mater.
I carry on a tradition of poets, singers and dancers and artists, that used to run high in the tribe.
Some people think my view of gay people is liberal…far from it.
It’s conservative-I expect gay people to align themselves closely with what everyone else does, treated as well and equally like everyone else.
Gay people are not treated well or equally, so it’s on our society to do the right thing and I’ll go to the mat to make that happen.
For the record also, I would rather follow my maternal grandmother’s native religion.
It’s logical, simple and very fair minded.
She was placed in a school and forced to learn ‘the white man’s way’ of Christian devotion-which was also a devotion to white superiority.
Something she promptly rejected as soon as she was free.
That’s why this ex gay stuff sets up the hairs on the back of my neck.
Forcing religious discipline (and selectively) on the unwilling, even in public law isn’t right.
But justifying it against gay people in particular is another legacy of cruel and arrogated principles.
To say nothing of unnecessary.
It’s possible to worship and show your love of your creator and creation without it being on the Christian tip.
I am the typical American hybrid, part black, Native Am and a few Irish folk thrown in.
In case anyone is wondering, I look like the singer Sade…
I’m tall, very lean with broad shoulders.
My father (in Creek tradition) taught me what people would consider ‘boy stuff’. How to box, and run track and lift weights, when it was NOT popular for girls to do it.
The first impression my acquaintances say I give
‘walks like a warrior’.
No woman can afford to give the impression of being too weak or vulnerable. Particularly in intellect, if not in physical presence.
Papa was right, these urban streets are tough.
He was a probation officer, so he was just looking out for me and wanting me to realize my full potential mental and physical.
My fabulous cousin became a noted professional woman boxer.
Now she plays in a woman’s football league.
We don’t do the gender bias thing in my family.
By the by….
Women like Lisa Leslie and the Williams sisters
are given their due reverence as women warriors on their courts.
There is no need for gender labels and clipping wings…
Just get the hell outta the way…
Google finds several articles in the antigay media in which Exodus official Randy Thomas wags his fingers at modern men who practice good grooming and tasteful attire.
I’ve been pondering this for a while. I’ve never seen a picture of Randy Thomas. Does he look and dress like a bum? Does he shave? Does he bathe? Does he look like Osama bin Forgotten, with a long beard and ratty-looking robes?
This is funny as heck.
raj…
Randy’s pic and bio
Looks like he may have metrosexual tendencies…….
Here’s the start of his bio: “Randy Thomas is the Membership Director for Exodus International headquartered in Orlando, Florida”
I’m confused. Why does Exodus need a membership director? After all, don’t they have their members come to them? Where exactly would an ex-gay group go to recruit new members?
I somehow doubt there are all that many ex-gays out there sitting around thinking “Gee, if only I knew of an ex-gay organization I could join”.
On an entirely separate issue…
Here’s an article which gives an example of why it can be a very bad idea for a man who is fighting his sexuality to get married:
https://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=1117&dept_id=88473&newsid=14899199&PAG=461&rfi=9
In synopsis, husband (who “struggled every day within himself about being gay”) invites homeless young man to stay with family. Husband becomes involved with young man. Wife becomes involved with young man. Wife and young man murder husband.
The article is from the perspective of the daughter.
Well, who’d a thunk it — Randy’s cute! Is he really the membership director, or is he bait? 😉
Talk about “recruiting”! LOL!
The whole metrosexualphobia thing seems perfectly clear to me. The rich right wing base that pays for these ministries is being infiltrated by non-threatening homosexuals dressed up as wedding planners, party consultants, haberdashers and cosmetologists. We’re becoming the favored pets of the monied and the end-all experts through shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
There’s an excellent storyline on Showtime’s Queer as Folk where one of the characters becomes local television’s Queer Guy on the locally produced magazine-style news show. Everything’s great as long as he’s non-sexual and hands out nose-hair tips and demonstrates napkin-folding. But I digress.
The whole metrosexual movement flies in the face of the rigid gender stereotypes the ex-gay ministries need to underpin their ancient theories of causation, but most important, metrosexuality facilitates the creation of a gay person in a position as role model–it exaults the queer eye, which is impermissible in a belief system that depends on gay people being drug, sex, alcohol and pornography addiced pedophiles who will be dead by thirty.
Every time one of the hate-mongerers’ filthy-rich donors talks about loving homosexuals and uses as an example the “sweet young man who did Muffy’s wedding” its gotta send a wave of panic through the ex-gay footsoldiers whose own recovery depends upon the constant denial and defiling of open proud, successful gays.
Ran into this blog from wife of a man who is stuggling with unwanted same-sex attraction.
https://www.willfulgrace.blogspot.com/
“It’s been a horrific journey, particularly in the beginning, but tremendous strides have been made. His sexual attraction to men has diminished and his attraction to me has greatly increased. Healing has occurred.”
While I feel pity for her, there’s just something so self deluding about the above statement. I can imagine the conversation from which she’s led to believe that his attraction to her has greatly increased.
Even most of the ex-gay groups don’t claim much change in the way of attractions, just behaviours or lifestyles.
While they may make it, the odds are stacked strongly against her. And all of the hope, faith, and belief she’s putting into what he tells her is just going to make it all that more painful if he does finally come to terms with his sexuality.
I also wonder as to whether this is really just one of the ex-gays we already know. After all, she is the sole person on blogger.com with an interest in Unwanted SSA so I suspect it’s a category she may have created. Interest on that level is probably not recently found. But maybe not.
RE: Annika at July 21, 2005 04:23 PM
I just had a look at his picture just then; there is something rather unsettling about his body language and his face; he doesn’t seem like a very approachable person – its as though he is saying “if you come near me, I’ll bite your f*cking head off you f*cking f*ggot”.
RE: Timothy at July 21, 2005 09:47 PM
She is the reason I am against this ‘reparative therapy’ – why should she suffer because the husband as some delusional, sky pixie fantasy that if he prostrates himself infront of a guy nailed to a 4 by 2 each Sunday, through some hocus-pocus, he will spotaneous turn straight?
Someone really needs to wake these people up and tell them they’re a dyed in the wool fag, and it doesn’t matter how many ‘chicks’ and ‘babes’ they may bang; it’ll simply still boar away at them inside, knowing that the emotional comfort they find that they need cannot be found in the opposit sex.
The sad part is when people allow religion to have so much sway in their life that their better judgement plays second fiddle to the rantings of their local pastor – their life becomes so empty that they need to totally emerse themselves into religion as to avoid the real world and the possible realities of it.
RE: PBCliberal at July 21, 2005 08:35 PM
Metrosexuals are nothing new; tell me what guy doesn’t want to look good for his date? a buffed up body to one-up his mates? I mean, the only difference between the traditional female and male is that a male won’t talk to other guys about the products they use (except me, but then again, I’m part of that fabulous 5% 😉 ).
As for the pathetic losers who get all thingy about it; maybe they should take some of their own medicine, “grow some balls mate, and get over it!”
kaiwai at July 22, 2005 03:41 AM
As for the pathetic losers who get all thingy about it; maybe they should take some of their own medicine, “grow some balls mate, and get over it!”
Minor point. Are you Australian? The “mate” point made me wonder.
I find it interesting that these people talk about “god given gender roles” when their idea of them is based upon a twentieth century, brutish, ideal of what men are supposed to be. Honestly, this is a new style that is akin to the style of the lowest classes of the past and would not have been tolerated in “polite” society. Men of means have always had manicures, attentive hairstyles and fine clothes. I wonder what these people would think of Louis XIV, for example. He was about as manly and heterosexual as they come.
I wonder what these people would think of Louis XIV, for example. He was about as manly and heterosexual as they come.
ROTFL. Louis? He was a popinjay.
You need to use the /tic (end “tongue in cheek”) html tag.
I’ve been to the palace at Versailles. Not the one in Indiana, btw. Just to let you know, there is a Versailles, Indiana. Last time I was there, there was no palace there.
Oh no raj, kaiwai is a kiwi.(The nationality, not the nocturnal bird). Not so minor point.I’m guessing from the name kaiwai, so… BTW, the husband is Nagati Tukorehe (from Otaki). If he ever gets antsy about having to help out in the garden — I remind him that he is Tainui Te Waka afterall, and should consider it merely an extension of his sacred duties.For raj — the Tainui canoe carried the sacred soil from the ancestral homeland in Hawaiki (wherever that is exactly… Cook Islands somewhere) and carried it around until it was buried under the pillar at the far end of this”>https://rangiatea.natlib.govt.nz/HomeE.htm“>this church. I might just repost an old web page for you and introduce ourselves hanging around the Marae eating fatty pork cooked in a hole in the ground… tastes like it sounds.
Obviously Jim goes for the “Christian pleated pant and plaid shirt on the larger guy” look :-)Jim, why not check out all the Exodus real-wild crew at the Presidential Inauguration 2005 while you’re at it. It appears that Exodus did something before the election to deserve getting some invitations. Must have exhausted them too, because their site’s gone awfully quite since that time.I particularly enjoy the ones with Marilyn Musgrove of Federal Anti-Gay Marriage Ammendment fame, and Tony Perkins of the FRC. They look like some funsters I’d love to hang out with too!And, on the subject of funsters, who doesn’t enjoy a
light-hearted (if rather gay-radar-imploding) moment with a fellow religious at the Exodus Youth fest? Oh, my sides might split (take cover everyone!)PS — couldn’t help myself, but it was a serious post to show who Randy’s hanging around with. When he’s not blown up on a billboard that is, I guess.
Oh bahahahaha — hadn’t spotted this one before!”Stand in the middle my dear. I’m still not reassured that his problem isn’t contageous…”
Oh no raj, kaiwai is a kiwi.
My goodness. Really? The Internet really is a wonderous thing. Seriously.
Randy Thomas mentions abuse from his father. Would it be too much to speculate that maybe he was abused the same way that poor little Parish boy was?
Thomas’s father sensed he was a sissy and brutalized him to change that, and Thomas overcompensated for it later?
This is what also sets up boys to physically bash gays later and become bullies.
Abuse begets abuse…only now, Thomas is taking out on gays and lesbians politically and socially.
Parents that aren’t abusive, but expectant that their gay child requires alteration, set up the ‘good little girl’ or ‘good little boy’ response and gay kids become overachievers to compensate for their parent’s de facto disappointment that they aren’t heterosexual.
It’s all a head f**k, but especially the arrogation going on with gay people in general.
I think if I hear that stupid/tired/cliched/too used phrase: ‘God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’
I will strangle the next moron that utters it.
I absolutely cannot understand that stupid statement, when the obvious is right here.
Regan, I see that DL Foster is advertising a hit piece on you for his Blog.
Any idea what he’s up to?
https://psimo.blogspot.com/
I just perused DL’s blog site.
I think this site treats DL a heck of a lot better than DL treats this site. He really is pretty nasty. For example:
“Okay, now here’s the REAL STORY A “gay” psychologist (with a MSW) wrote that the reason a man killed his baby son was because of exgay ministries and reparative therapy. Joe Kort wrote at exgaywatch(Im embarrassed to repeat this)… …Final thought: and they’re giving out MSW’s for this?”
While many of the comments on exgaywatch take DL to task for some of his seriously illogical and vindictive positions, the official folk treat him pretty fairly. They certainly don’t attack his credentials. Obviously, DL feels no compulsion to reciprocate.
Have you ever noticed that one you’ve convinced yourself that God is on your side, you no longer have to be civil?
One of my favorite quotes is Anne Lamott’s: “You can tell you have created God in your own image when it turns out that he or she hates all the same people you do.”
Timothy said
I suspect there is a very obvious reason his credentials don’t get attacked.What I have noticed is the explosive verbal violence that runs throughout DL’s missives — I’d rather he swore like a trooper than use such venom.I’d guess there is a barely concealed problem behind it all, but Buddha only knows what. I don’t know, maybe that’s his marketing angle? Perhaps we should just ignore the twat.And I’m sure Regan must be quaking in her boots in anticipation. Not.
Urgh, sorry Mike A.I noticed I just used a slang term that may be highly offensive in the U.S.If need be — replace that word with [substited: UK slang for very obnoxious person].Curses, divided by a common language.
Thanks people!
I did not know what DL Foster was up to, but I”ll try and check it out.
I love Anne Lamott…she be cool wid me!
I’ll get back to all y’all later.
RLMFAO!!!!
Hee hee….DL wants to talk about me without me.
He’s never really addressed me directly and certainly has evaded my questions as many of you have observed.
I left a facetious post at another blog in response to ex druggie lesbian Grace Hardy’s remarks in the Salon article. Another blogger mentioned lesbian cooties.
I can’t recall where I left the message. A link through Wayne’s site, no doubt.
DL obviously didn’t get my sarcasm.
I was in effect, saying that my constant and affectionate friendships with my lesbian friends, according to Ms. Thing…should have infected me with raging lesbian cooties.
Which I do not fear, in any case.
Because my girls and I are very much on the same street when it comes to justice and respect.
I don’t fear lesbians the way Foster and Rev. Wilson obviously do.
But they sure want me to.
Christian basher?
Well, maybe….if they are the sort of Christian that Foster or Wilson is.
It would be a hoot if Foster tries to deny me my ancestral family and values.
I am expert on my grandmother’s love and talent and what she told me regarding her survival of Christian identity, Jim Crow and the Great Depression.
She had a beautiful singing voice and the ‘spirit chants’ that were discouraged by missionaries came to life again for me at some recent intertribals.
Thanks for the tip gang!
I’ve bookmarked Foster’s blog and I’m looking forward to what he says.
RE: raj at July 22, 2005 06:24 AM
Minor point. Are you Australian? The “mate” point made me wonder.
Although it is part of the Australian vernacular, its also used in New Zealand, along with bro and fella.
RE: Regan DuCasse
Parents that aren’t abusive, but expectant that their gay child requires alteration, set up the ‘good little girl’ or ‘good little boy’ response and gay kids become overachievers to compensate for their parent’s de facto disappointment that they aren’t heterosexual.
That seems to be the overwhelming result that most gays end up going through; the cynical side says, “it builds up character” and yet on the other side, instead of enjoying my teenage years, I was going hell for leather trying to make up for ‘short falls in my character’.
People wonder why there are so many gays and lesbians who suffer from depression, when from an early age they’re considered wothless pieces of shit by their own parents.
Kaiwai….I’m really just trying to get an education.
Things aren’t the same all over and I always want to know what’s what.
I’m lucky…I can see my loved ones for who they are. Los Angeles is such a bust out place for self expression and determination I think I have the most authentic and open gay people any situation has to offer.
I will soon be visited by a beloved friend I met online. He’ so closeted and I know well the situations that keep him there.
He’s also on Prozac.
I’ve known him seven years and he was so young when I met him.
He’s from a tiny town in the Deep South and other than really wanting to meet me finally after being so close for so long, the pressure to be himself is killing him.
He has unhealthy high blood pressure for such a young guy (under 30).
He wants to be himself…so badly.
I hate the closet…I really do.
It’s a prison and no innocent person should be forced into any kind of prison.
RE: Regan DuCasse
And unfortunately, there is little help out there because the heterosexual world either refuses that we actually exist or worse, think that we’re a bunch of weirdos who chose to be this way.
They make little or no effort to get to know us; its all about them, them, them; why aren’t I surprised.
This is what I have tried to impart to our friend Chad.
That the subject of homosexuality or gay people has no foundation in trust and honesty.
Heterosexuals do not know gay people very well, and haven’t wanted to and certainly not on the level that gay people are the same or as good as heterosexuals are.
This is why I can’t understand why hets get angry at gay people for any self preserving deception, when it’s hets that set up the threat and violence that keeps gay people from being themselves to begin with.
RE: Regan DuCasse
For me, I don’t need to be viewed as the ‘same’; I have no problems saying that I am different to a heterosexual male; we are different, but at the same time, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be treated with the same respect and understanding that one would give to their fellow ‘heterosexual collegue”.
But its not just a gay issue, its pretty much that anything that stands outside the ‘white heterosexual male’ is instantly looked down upon; if you’re female, different race, or what ever – its a continuous uphill struggle for recognition and acceptance.
I’d love for acceptance, but the reality is; all the ‘white heterosexual male’ knows about gays are the hip girating, float parading variety at the gay pride parades; which as a side issue, I have nothing with, but it does perpetuate a stereotype – then again, I’m sure, even if there wasn’t a parade, those stereotypes would still exist.
I mean, if one were to be cynical, why do ‘white heterosexual males’ feel threatened by us? I mean, lets look at the positives; they’re not threatened by us, because we don’t encrotch on their territory, if they’re married or have a girlfriend, we are no threat to their relationship as we have no interest in their girlfriend – I mean, I could wheel of a number of reasons why the ‘white heterosexual male’ should be happy that us gay guys are around 😀
Kaiwai,
I meant the same in every other context but sexual orientation.
I’m with you though on gay lives having to revolve around heterosexual assumptions and sensibility.
Heterosexuals believe they and what they feel is all that matters.
Even to the outrage of bald face denials of what gay people tell them.
The only opinions they’ll believe is what OTHER HETEROSEXUALS say about gay people.
When I listen to hets discussing gay people with no gay people there-the discussions are so loaded with lies and misinformation it makes be so frustrated.
You’re right, it’s all about them, them, them….
I do see a symbiosis of gay WITH straight.
That there is a rhythm of nature that appears to be harmonious where gay people are respected and protected equally.
We’re becoming a cowardly nation, we are not nearly as brave and free as we need to be now, more than ever.