Mike Airhart is a business news editor, online content specialist, and free-lance writer. He has a B.A. in Communication. In college, he specialized in the study of human rights violations committed against Latin American Christians by conservative dictatorships in the 1980s. He has worked for Sojourners magazine and the World Bank. He has volunteered for Whitman-Walker Clinic and Men Can Stop Rape. He currently volunteers for the Independent Gay Forum.
Mike has a B.A. in Communication from the University of Dayton. Politically, he is an independent — neither liberal, nor conservative.
Hi
I am sorry to bother you but I have a problem and I don’t know who to talk to. I am turning 22 and I have a boyfriend. But at times I wish I had a girlfriend. I decided to change my past gay lifestyle when I was about 19. I have re dedicated my life to Christ and try to avoid all things dealing with the past. So my question is why wont these gay feelings go away? Will they ever go away. I have a great boyfriend who constantly talks about marriage, but I feel it would be wrong to marry him with these feelings. I wont them to stop. Please help me if you can
Jay
Wait so did you even have an ex-gay experience? I’m sorry but you’re going to have to swing by at least one exodus meeting in DC or something just to say you’ve done SOMETHING ex-gay.
Jay,
I recommend that you speak honestly with your boyfriend about your feelings and religious opinions.
I also recommend that you talk about your faith and your struggle with a range of Christians — some Christians are antigay, others are not, and some are in the middle. As for whether your feelings will go away, that depends on the types and origins of your feelings. A few people drift from one sexual orientation to another either by choice or chance, but quite frankly, that does not seem to be common — and exgay programs are a particularly ineffective means to achieve the constructive change that you seek.
Dan,
I used to co-lead a small InterVarsity Christian Fellowship chapter, and I sought to pray away the gay for years. But I quit the evangelical movement midway through college due to its arrogance, its highly selective grasp of scripture and history, its blindness to economic and social sin, and its prejudices against moderates, non-conservatives, non-evangelicals, and advocates for intellectual and religious freedom and human rights (in Latin America, in particular). Since then I have identified as a Christian of Catholic background, Quaker/Mennonite inclination, and libertarian political sentiment.
No need to pay James Dobson to attend exgay meetings — I chatted for years with various exgay ministers (including three Exodus board members and two local ministry leaders) via discussion forums at the exgay-tolerant Bridges Across the Divide project.
I’d be more than happy to attend exgay conventions in the future — but I think I’ll let James Dobson pay for admission, lodging, and travel.
You guys rock. I thought you might be interested in hearing this ironic protest song against the Marshall/Newman amendment to the Virginia Constitution that’s up for vote this fall: “Thank God Virginia’s On Our Side,” available for free download at https://bradyearnhart.com/songs.html . Sometimes songs say things in ways text alone can’t.
hug,
Brady