In reporting on the scientific debate over sexual orientation — what causes it, can it be changed — Cleveland’s Plain Dealer newspaper interviews an Ohio exgay ministry leader, a pro-exgay counselor, gay author/activist Wayne Besen, and two researchers.
The article’s overview of the debate is balanced, but a bit shallow and plagued by misspellings (Dean Hamer, Joseph Nicolosi). In the interest of providing some missing context, I present a profile of the exgay ministry, Prodigal Ministries of Cincinnati.
Prodigal Ministries at a glance
Founded 1986. Director: Jerry A. Armelli. Exodus referral ministry.
Religion: The ministry summary page states: "The
Bible is God’s inspired, infallible, authoritative word." But the
ministry devotes a full page to reinterpreting
Matthew 19:3-6 in order to rationalize the opinion that Jesus
personally condemned homosexuality. Despite its superficial commitment
to Biblical absolutism, Armelli’s ministry is selective in its
adherence to both science and Christian tradition.
Sexual orientation: The ministry redefines the word "gay," turning it into a vague political/social identity label rather than an honest reflection of one’s sexual attractions. The ministry rejects a distinction between attraction and behavior; both are considered sinful.
Gender: The ministry urges gay people to view the
world (and themselves) within a prism of traditional gender roles.
Nevertheless, according to the ministry director’s profile, Armelli and his wife operate a dance studio. The ministry’s FAQ page says,
"First, there is within every person born into the world a "blank
slate" as to gender identity." But no mainstream clinicians or other
conservative Christians are cited to substantiate the notion that
gender is, at birth, a blank slate.
Science: The ministry consistently adheres to the theories of the antigay reparative therapy movement. According to the ministry summary,
"Prodigal Ministries aligns itself with the scientific evidence of
today that finds no inborn cause for homosexuality." Armelli’s web site
also claims to know exactly what does trigger sexual orientation:
Homosexual
behavior is an attempt to fulfill normal, legitimate needs for love,
acceptance and identity through sexual intimacy with someone of the
same sex. The deepest root of homosexuality is a break in relational
bonds, which produces a lack of a sense of belonging, lack (sic)
affirmation and gender inferiority.
Asked
what the ramifications might be if homosexuality were genetically
influenced, the ministry responds that homosexuals should "change"
anyway.
Discrimination: The ministry web site offers no opposition to any form of antigay discrimination. Its September 2004 newsletter supports a ban on gay marriage, but does not say how it should be banned.
Prior media coverage: The ministry was profiled
by Cincinnati’s CityBeat in December 2003. In the article, Jill Bley, a
clinical psychologist and member of the American Association of Sex
Educators, Counselors and Therapists, disputes the scientific claims of
reparative therapy. A followup letter to the editor
questions why the newspaper gave Prodigal Ministries more favorable
treatment than it would if the ministry had claimed that women, Jews or
African-Americans are inferior.
In an undated page affiliated with NARTH, reparative therapy guru Joseph Nicolosi interviews
Armelli. The Plain Dealer article quotes Nicolosi stressing the
importance of "tolerance, diversity and inclusion," overlooking
Nicolosi’s support for discriminatory laws.
I know 2 people who have counseled with Jerry Armelli in Cincinnatti’s Prodigal Ministries. My friend (a Nazarene music pastor) who lives near Columbus used to go to him and thinks he had a lot of insight into my friend’s homosexuality. My Nazarene friend believes his own homosexuality is caused by a “jealousy of masculine men”. He feels he does not meet up to those standards. Armelli tends to reinforce this kind of belief in his clients. My friend never considered the fact that his own questioning of his masculinity is most likely from being raised in a rigidly religious household wherein ultra-masculine stereotypes were strictly reinforced and anything that does not measure up to that is considered weak or not whole. Any gay son (no matter how masculine) would feel he could never measure up having been raised in such an extreme environment.
When I asked my friend whether he had ever questioned Armelli as to whether he still has same sex attraction in his life, my friend said he could not ask that kind of question. I have found Jerry Armelli’s own life story to come from an extremely rigid and simplistic view of the Bible and of the causes of homosexuality. Armelli’s view also comes from a very simplistic (black and white view) of the gay community itself. Armelli’s experience with the gay community comes soley from a very narrow and negative history with being gay. It comes from the experience of hating oneself and ones attractions and thus creating an addictive, self hating experience reinforcing that world-view. When all he knows of the gay community is sex, drugs and addiction no wonder he wished to get out of that “lifestyle” so badly. It is this self-concept (self-loathing) and view of the gay experience that is a chief cause of the addiction itself. It is unfortunate and very sad to me that Mr. Armelli never had the experience of what it is like to commune personally with God as a self-accepting and self-affirming gay man. His personal experience and world-view leave absolutely no room for the spiritual experiences of virtually hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons who have had a personal witness from the Holy Spirit that God is actively working in their lives in helping them be progressively whole within their God given orientations. I would imagine that is completely outside of Armelli’s universe of discourse or experience yet it is non-the-less very real and authentic. No matter how many times Armelli may teach that homosexuality in and of itself is perverse, evil and of the devil there are hundreds of thousands who know otherwise and have experienced the peace and self-assurance from God that they are loved as they are. These individuals do not confuse a personal relationship with God with a dogma, creed, reparative therapeutic support group, or a pastor in order to feel accepted and loved.
My other friend who lives in Illinois finally got fed up with the ex-gay ministries (including Exodus International)and left them for good. After being involved in an Exodus living (house) situation for almost 5 years he finally let go of their controlling, dogmatic, rigid, lifestyle and decided to live his own life as opposed to having others live it for him. He has grown a tremendous amount and is an autonomous, self-assured and very spiritual young man. He has a very close personal relationship with God and has learned to accept and love himself including his orientation as opposed to fragmenting himself as he used to during his years with Exodus. His change has been remarkable and very moving.
I think it would be a fascinating study to show just how NARTH and other “reparative therapeutic” organizations actually use their tools in helping their clients repress their sexuality. When the authentic feelings of same gender attraction arise as a natural part of a human being these feelings are labeled as unmet needs and thus are supposed to be met with more heterosexual male friendships, prayer, bible study, etc. What an absolute confusing tragedy this kind of mind-set creates. The truth will cut its own way in the long run and the supposed “thousands” who are “coming out of homosexuality” are actually realizing that their true Identities are what God created them to be and many are leaving the ex-gay ministries behind as they finally grow up and become full fledged adults in their individual journey’s.
The gay community is also growing as well. I believe that when we progress to a place of full self-acceptance and a stronger spiritual environment is created for all generations of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered persons we will have such a strong and healthy community (in far more aspects) that the ex-gay ministries will go bankrupt. We need to love all of our people no matter who they are, no matter what they look like, no matter how rich or poor they are, etc. We are responsible stewards of the future generations of gay and lesbian people through our individual and collective actions toward them. We hold the key to the future of our community.
Um, I grew up in a northern suburb of Cincinnati (it has only one “t”) in the 1960s. In fact, I met my (same sex) spouse there in 1978. I was visiting from CT for my brother’s wedding, and he was visiting from Boston for vacation. When I was growing up in Cincy in the 1960s, it was something of a thriving metropolis of about half a million people and a decent downtown. We visited there a couple of years ago, the population was down by about a third, and the downtown was dead. I click onto the gay.com cincinnati chat room every once in a while, and it’s clear that the interesting activity is in northern kentucky.