Carlton Quattlebaum (e-mail) operates as the Healing Choices Ministry in Canton, Mich. He is hosted by Tri-City Christian Center. Quattlebaum formerly worked for Reconciliation Ministries in Detroit.

Profession: Minister
Denomination: Assemblies of God
Links: Google search on Carlton Quattlebaum

From a Christian parenting site:

QUESTION: If parents discover that their teen is struggling with homosexuality, what should they do? How should they handle this delicate issue?

QUATTLEBAUM: I think that one of the things that parents have to do as they enter into this is be careful not to transfer anxiety that they may have about themselves onto their children. If they suspect that their child is gay, or if their son or daughter says, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay,” there can be a high tendency to personalize this and say, “How could you do this to me?”

Parents, this isn’t about you. This is about them. In these moments, we can communicate to our children unconditional acceptance, or we can communicate the belief that they’re only as good as good they make us look. It’s very difficult for a father especially to acknowledge that his son deals with homosexuality. I would encourage them to focus on the needs of their child, and not think too much about what others will think.

Another thing…unless you have direct evidence, I would caution against asking leading questions. Approaching your son or daughter and saying, “Are you gay?” is a very strong suggestion to them. If they’re experiencing some of those feelings, this kind of questioning could make them think, “Gee, if my parents think I’m gay, then I must be.” I would strongly caution against asking such direct questions.

It’s important that the entire experience be supported with love, acceptance, and understanding. If that child does indicate that it is an issue in their life, then at that point, the parent has the obligation to provide them with any resources that could be helpful, constructive, or redemptive. We, as parents, have to set aside our own issues and be fully present for our children.

From Justice & Respect:
Make a Redemptive Difference: Dealing Constructively with Homosexuality

Understanding Teen Homosexuality

Testimony for a ban against gay marriage and domestic partnership:
Gay People’s Chronicle, Nov. 21, 2003: XGW entry

Addendum: It was this testimony, including some unsubstantiated generalizations about gay activists, that prompted the inclusion of this profile at XGW. Critics are likely to guess that, absent substantiation, Quattlebaum may be projecting some of his own intolerance onto gay equal-rights activists.

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