From the Express Gay News in South Florida:
The ‘Ex-Gay’ Coverup, Aug. 18, 2003
Besen, the author of Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth, told The Express that Johnston’s behavior is typical of ex-gays’ “cycle of sin and repentance.” “They abstain from sex for months and then something snaps,” Besen said. “The dam bursts and there’s a tidal wave of irresponsible behavior. Instead of saying, ‘Well, let’s have sex and use a condom,’ it’s like, ‘Well, I’m a terrible sinner anyway, so we may as well do it without a condom.'”
My feelings about the smugness of the Episcopal Church leadership are strengthened when I read stories like the one I just ran into at
http://themiddleoftheinternet.com
It’s truly unbelievable.
Truly unbelievable, indeed. Or, rather, all too believable. To call it sad is to put it mildly. Thanks for posting this, Susan, and good work on your site.
Here’s the message that I sent to John, in response to his blank message.
I have not received a reply.
– Forwarded Message
From: Mike Airhart, Ex-Gay Watch
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2003 00:05:07 -0400
To:
Subject: Re: Comment at XGW re: ‘Prosecute Michael Johnston on Sodomy, HIV Charges?’
Hi, John,
I noticed that you posted a blank message at Ex-Gay Watch.
I won’t lie and say that I approved of your descriptions of gays at Exodus or Focus on the Family, or now at Portland Fellowship — misdefining homosexuality as a lifestyle instead of an attraction or behavior, mischaracterizing gay political and religious values, overgeneralizing and “otherizing” about promiscuity.
But I do give you credit for having been a bit less political than your successors. And I give you credit for having been more genuinely interested in ministry than, sadly, they appear to be.
As for the topic you were addressing at XGW:
I have seen gays show less mercy toward you, and more mercy toward Michael Johnston than, perhaps, is deserved. You will find some of that mercy toward Mr. Johnston in such places as the forums at gaychristian.net. Personally, I still hope that Mr. Johnston eventually attempts to repair the injury that he has caused to men in the Hampton Roads area.
Unfortunately, Exodus, Focus on the Family, CWFA, and FRC have painted themselves into an unmerciful corner. Their support for sodomy laws leaves them no room to tolerate Mr. Johnston’s illegalities. If you ever have the opportunity to do so, I sincerely hope you will call that to their attention.
Thank you for (inadvertently?) calling my attention to the Portland Fellowship web site. The site is a mix of good and bad. The bad, of course, being the same old political, religious, and psychological overgeneralizations and exaggerations that have driven so many potential ex-gays away from the ex-gay movement. The good being a focus on ministry, individual recovery from low self-esteem and compulsive behavior. XGW will spell this out once it catches up on a variety of other matters.
Best wishes to you and your kids.
—
Mike Airhart
Nice letter, Michael. I hope John responds. Underneath all the media hoohah, I think he has a heart.
Thank you for your email Mike. I recently left Focus on the Family to return to the Pacific Northwest so that my three children could be raised closer to their extended family. After living in Colorado Springs for five years, my sons were feeling lonely. In addition, I have worked in ex-gay ministry for 16 years and wanted a fresh change in another direction.
I always find it amusing reading gay news stories about me. No one ever gets it right. Just today, my former secretary was told that she read that I had returned to homosexuality, which, couldn’t be further from the truth. Ever since I visited Mr. P’s in Washington, D.C. three years ago, my life has been put into question.
I can understand why people might doubt me. After all, I was seen in a gay bar and have said that I have overcome homosexuality.
I can only say that during this long journey of overcoming homosexuality, there have been times of temptation. But temptation does not mean that a person reverts back to where he used to be. People might say, “If you were in a gay bar doesn’t that mean you are either still gay or reverting back into homosexuality?” The answer is NO.
Similarly, just because I’ve been married for 11 years and have three sons, doen’t PROVE that I’ve changed either. Life is much more complicated than that.
My journey is following Jesus Christ and trying to lvie a life of obediance to the Bible. Sometimes I fail, in many areas. But even if I struggled with homosexual temptation to a great degree, which I do not, I would still believe that homosexuality was not something God intended for me.
I enjoy my life today so much more then when I was gay. I am in love with my wife, Anne and cherish coming home from work each day to her and my wonderful, young sons.
I also attempt to help other conservative Christians better understand the difficulty gay people go through internally and I help other men and women who find themselves unhappy with their homosexuality who want to live a life away from it.
Thanks for listening.
John Paulk
John,
Yes, ” Life is much more complicated than that.”
I would only hope that you would admit that that the lives of gay people are as complicated, complex, and resistant to stereotyping and easy generalizations as you say that your life is.
I am willing to grant that the gay media does not “get it entirely right” about your lived experience. Media tend to simplify and the complexities of life is simply something it can easily express. Likewise, it seems to me that so much of the public statements, or public ministries, of the ex-gay groups, simplify, and stereotype, the lived experiences of gay people. I would say many such ministries even demonize those lives — which is a terrible simplication.
When the ex-gay ministries admit that the lives of gay people are complicated, and varied, then it would be easier for me to take seriously your claim that the gay media should appreciate and express the complexity of your life, and the variety of lives lived by ex-gays.
(Let me add that rarely do I see the ex-gay ministry express fully the complexity and variety of lives of ex-gays either.)