I’m currently exploring my options for moving to a gay-friendly city with more affordable housing than exists in southern California.
Cities must have at least half a million residents and the median home price must be near or below a quarter million dollars.
Government recognition of partnerships is not required but non-discrimination laws at either the state or local level are.
Hot is preferred to cold.
(And it’s kind of funny that Exodus’ hometown of Orlando now almost fits the bill.)
Charlotte is something of the gay capital of the South. All those bankers moved there after NationsBank bought Bank of America. I’d also look at the Raleigh-Durham area — pretty liberal and very low cost of housing, Durham especially, although friends have bought in Cary, NC, as well. Lots of job prospects. Chicago, my hometown, I recommend to everyone — very liberal, low cost. Fantastic arts community. Cold in the winter and hot in the summer, though.
Personally, I’d worry about all of it. My partner and I made the mistake of moving to Washington, DC, after living in Oakland, CA, and frankly, it was the worst mistake of our relationship — and very well may bring the whole thing to an end. Nothing beats the safety net of California’s social programs. And the energy — the arts, the activism — are not met by DC’s staid personality.
Sure, housing was a problem, but the rest of the U.S. has a way of nickel and diming you — food is more expensive, income tax is higher, it’s more expensive to go out, restaurants are more expensive. Car ownership is ridiculous. Frankly, we probably could have eventually found something in a rougher part of Oakland, LA’s Chinatown, or San Pedro — had we wanted to move to the Southland.
So my advice? Beware the grass is greener syndrome. It’s often not.
I guess it depends on your occupation. My parents moved to New Mexico because of low taxes and lower prices, but jobs don’t pay much. I live in So. Cal. and it is expensive, but as a professor, I get paid more than I would in other states. Traffic and gas is a pain here, but there are benefits too. Everything is here.
My parents moved to a cheap house and living in a pleasant area, but they found their finances to be largely the same.
Orlando may not be as hot as Phoenix on the thermometer, but factor in our Florida humidity and it can be stifling in the summer. From mid October through mid May, it’s about perfect weather-wise.
On the other hand, this is the South, but definitely not Alabama.
I second the humidity warning. If you are not familiar with Florida in the summer, now would be a good time to visit to check that out. In Orlando you will need to forget public transit, except for a municipal bus system. It’s mostly a new city, becoming significant only after Disney World came to the area. Traffic is heavy but the system to handle it isn’t always up to par. And while it is true, Florida really isn’t the South in terms of culture, there is probably an even more significant evangelical presence here than in the rest of the South. Churches advertise like used car lots, billboards, tacky commercials and the rest. And of course, our natural disaster of choice is the Hurricane which can really disrupt one’s life (or end it). I suppose trading earthquakes, mudslides and wildfires for hurricanes is reasonable though.
On the positive side for you I would think, there is a progressive atmosphere and plenty of gay exposure. You can find culture and just about anything you want somewhere between the coasts. Beaches are great on the east coast and you can always take a day trip down south. The tax burden is quite light, no state income tax and little chance of one in the future. I think the sales tax over there is 6.5% and staple foods and medicine are exempt.
All things considered, out of all the cities in Florida, I would say Orlando would be the best pick.
Good luck with your search!
David Roberts
If you can take the heat either phoenix, tucson, or las vegas. Yah sure its hot but unlike orlando or miami you won’t be dripping sweat all day long. Personally speaking I’d take the desert heat over the persistent humidity of the south any day, besides that its as flat as a pancake in florida in the southwest you have mountains.
Vegas is unlivable. My in-laws moved from there because it has become so pricey. Even as a vacation joint, it is no longer for cheap–I hear that it is barely survivable for the average person.
Denver is about the perfect place, IMHO. Housing is a little high, but you get 300 days of sunshine per year. When it snows in the winter it always melts in a day or two. We have a world-class symphony, the second largest performing arts center in the world next to Lincoln Center in New York, and we have a vibrant GLBT community. State services are pretty good, we have a Democrat-controlled legislature and will more than likely have a Democrat governor. The mayor is beloved, particularly by the GLBT community, and we have a great airport. Public transportation is about to explode in November with the opening of the largest section of our light rail network to date, and transit-orientes communities are popping up all along the new lines and those still under construction.
I have many friends who originally came here temporarily for work or vacation and never left.
Try Atlanta — inside the perimeter especially mid-town is very gay-friendly. It’s a bit land locked but more cosmopolitan than other sun cities you might consider.
I am predicting, and hoping, that the NJ Supreme Court will legalize gay marriage. NJ is the bluest of the blue states and there is a good chance this will happen and that there will be little backlash.
If this happens NJ may become the next true gay mecca. The cities around NYC are already increasing their gay populations but they might explode with new gay residents.
This might, given changes in Newark, lead to a real gayificaiton of downtown Newark as well as other cities in NJ near NYC.
Elizabeth, Perth Amboy, South Amboy, who knows.
This would be a real kick in the ass to NYC — if talented gay people moved out and over the river given that recent decision and Mayor Bloomberg’s part in it.
An answer too obvious. 🙂
And yes, we even have a partner category. This ain’t Nebraska…
My prediction: 18 months.
That’s about as long as anyone can go when they move away from lovely LA (or Long Beach). Yeah it’s crowded, the traffic is a nightmare, the housing is unaffordable, etc etc. But once you’ve lived here, it’s hard to make anywhere else be “home”. We all hate LA, but we LOVE to hate it.
I second Christopher’s comment —
No one should come to D.C. hoping for affordable housing or for creative or laid-back culture. One must go 10 miles outside of town to find decent apartments for under $1,000 a month. In town, the average seems to be close to $2,000/month now.
And now’s not a great time to buy, either — there is new apartment and condo construction occurring east of downtown but none of it is affordable. There was a wave of rowhouse-condo conversions, but the conversions do not seem to be selling well — everything is ridiculously overpriced.
D.C. has become a city of double-income workaholic households with few kids and no safety net if something goes wrong.
D.C. is also having a massive crime wave supposedly.
I have been all over the western hemisphere–I lived in France three years (and I love France big time). However, I think I love LA almost more than any other city (although Paris comes close). There are things I can’t stand–traffic, smog, weather (I wish we had four seasons here–I can’t stand the heat). However, I love the architecture. I love the movie industry. I don’t care for West Hollywood, but I know it is there if I am ever interested. I love the car culture. I don’t live in LA itself–I am 45 minutes away, but I love LA in indescrible ways. If a movie has LA locales, I am transfixed. I am teaching a class soon on Los Angeles in the humanities (film, literature, culture, art). Night in LA is special–when it is cool and the air is sweet. The neon is on, and I am in love. In fact, this August, my spouse and I could go elsewhere for vacation (and we have in the past), but we wanted to hang in LA and look up film noir sites and explore deep parts of the town. Amoeba Records is there too.
There are also the bums and prostitutes, but they add flavor to the town. It is very hard to find bathrooms in LA, and I really had to go once. There was a pile of cardboard trash in an alley, so I started peeing. Turns out it was a homeless house. The homeless guy, all wet, chased me down the street. That is LA.
Damn you Dan! I am typically not a nostalgic person, but you got me thinking about LA. LA was the place for my first pride parade. While I don’t really care about those things today, at the time I realized what a big family I was with. It was thrilling. I met my first serious boyfriend at a skating rink down there. When I used to go to clubs and places (wow! That was ages ago), I remember putting on Here Comes Your Man by the Pixies while getting ready, and then I would go dance all night (I loved the lesbian bars most). I remember just driving around LA to see what is happening and I saw a line around the corner. So I get in line, buy tickets from a scalper, and one of my favorite bands, Echo and the Bunnymen, were playing. Just a coincidence. I go to LA to watch movies on a Mausoleum at Hollywood Forever Cemetary.
I also would go to the LDS Temple for my endowment prior to my mission, so my spiritual history is tied into it too (I even used to go to Affirmation meetings down there). I remember when I was a child, my mom took me to the Temple for a visit, and on the way back I saw all these men on the streets together. They looked so happy and free. Turned out to be a gay parade. I saw two men kissing, and my mom put her hand over my eye. She was horrified, but I knew one day I would be there. That was where I belonged. I wanted to walk down the street with my hand in a boyfriend’s back pocket. It would be many years before I would do that, but if I ever had a premonition, it was in LA that day. As the Village People song (done better by the Pet Shop Boys) says, “Go West
(Together) We will go our way
(Together) We will leave someday
(Together) Your hand in my hands
(Together) We will make our plans
(Together) We will fly so high
(Together) Tell all our friends goodbye
(Together) We will start life new
(Together) This is what we’ll do
(Go West) Life is peaceful there
(Go West) In the open air
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West) This is what we’re gonna do
(Go West, this is what we’re gonna do, Go West)
(Together) We will love the beach
(Together) We will learn and teach
(Together) Change our pace of life
(Together) We will work and strive
(I love you) I know you love me
(I want you) How could I disagree?”
Here’s a second vote for Denver. It’s large enough to have just about everything, but still small enough that you can escape from the city without having to drive for hours.
I lived in Southern California for 14 years before returning home to Colorado, and while I enjoyed my time in Cali and still occasionally fly back to visit friends, I can honestly say that I don’t miss living there.
If you must move and don’t mind cold Winters too much, consider Madison, Wisconsin. It has 208,000 people.
New Orleans is gay friendly, has a (very limited) DP registry and a good anti-discrimination law, but there is that whole post-deluge problem. Two years ago I would have strongly recommend NOLA, but these days my friends report that living there is pretty tough.
Austin, Texas is relatively affordable and very gay-friendly, as is Dallas (though neither have any good partnership protections and the Texas state government is rabidly anti-gay). Both Austin and Dallas have anti-discrmination laws.
Fort Lauderdale is reasonably priced and Broward County is super gay friendly (or should that be “thuper” gay friendly?).
The only warm place I can think of with a gay-friendly state government is New Mexico.
All things considered, I would recommend Lauderdale. I’ve lived there. It’s very affordable (at least the areas that aren’t on the beach are affordable), pleasant, very gay, very pretty and it’s economy is booming through the roof.
I lived in Dallas for many years and just moved back to Canada where I grew up. While the state government is pretty right wing, Dallas has a huge gay community and friendly city government. There are 3 openly gay city councilors and a Lesbian sheriff.
Dallas has one of the lowest costs of living of any top US city and the job market pays well in relation.
But now I live in Québec where being gay is a non-issue and there are as many fundamentalist Christians as palm trees.
dantoujours vous me fais jaloux.
Austin, baby. I don’t know what these other cats are smokin. If you want more info, lemme know, we can talk. Caveat — no gay ghetto, and the city lends itself to some level of integration. It may feel too small to an LA boy. Visit first.
Michael and Eugene, you are giving away all those Denver secrets…now everyone will want to move here! Shhhh!
Dan, don’t listen to them. It’s horrible here. Just awful.
OK. Not really. I used to live in Santa Cruz, CA (which I thought was heaven at the time) and while it’s the only place I’d ever leave Denver for, I think I just might now live in the best place in the US….There’s seasons here, sun (lots of high heat in the summer if you like that sort of thing), snow, mountains, dry air, lots of outdoor activites, culture, etc. The only thing we’re really missing is an ocean, although some people do predict that it won’t be long til we have one to the west.
But beware, if you move here, ditch those CA plates right away. Folks don’t like Californians or Texans here…
I have lived in New Mexico since 1988. First Northern NM in the Taos area and in Albuquerque since 2000. I love it here. Average home price about 215,000 (but you can still find a cool pueblo style for less than 170,000), low property 350 days sunshine. Very gay friendly mayor, state laws are very gay friendly. You may make a little less money, but if you are a nurse or medical field, in the high tech field. Large Intel plant here, you will do well.
I have lived and worked in Florida for over 30 years and am actually thinking about moving-Its not a cheap place to live anymore-Housing costs have skyrocketed and if you can actually afford a home, good luck in finding homeowners insurance and if you do, the costs are astronomical, that and the taxes- and add the low pay scale and Florida is a non destination for many people. The posts here about New Mexico and Austin sound promising- Dont think I could ever go back to snow and sleet .
Okay:
New Orleans, LA … Hated It! If you want a constant Night Life filled with nothing but drugs and a high crime rate — and when it rains hard you sink another inch, then maybe New Orleans is your cup of tea. I’ll even given you my ex’s phone number.
Denver: SOUNDS FABULOUS! I’ve already told seventy-five thousand of my closest friend sto meet me there for lunch and to look the latest listings all at once. You girls in Denver know how to throw up your heels, huh? I mean boots, man!
Austin: Never been there but heard it’s the only place in Texas to be!
Florida? It’s where every New Yorker goes to die!
Chicago? The wind messes up your hair!
New Jersey? Maybe a good idea since New York City is only a stones throw away – but beware of the way they talk in Jersey. You may leave in ten years not really know hoe to annunciate!
I live in Philadelphia. Gets cold as the treatment a New Orleans Mayor gets at a white chocolate convention, VERY HIGH CRIME RATE, the cost of living is NOT cheap here, regardless of what those millioinaires who have moved here from NEW YORK after 911 say, and there is a lot of prejudice in this city of Brotherly Love.
Got an idea. Stay in LA and make the best of it. Are you crazy? If you don’t like LA go South, Honey. America’s Finest City is San Diego!
Good luck whatever you decide. See ya in Denver?