7/26/2005 1:44:00 PM
Contact: Taylor Thompson of PFLAG, tthompson@pflag.org
WASHINGTON, July 26 — As Zach Stark, the Tennessee teen who recently gained national attention after blogging his fears of being sent to Love in Action, is released from the program this week, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) calls for an ongoing and substantive discussion about the effects of “reparative therapy” on young people and their families.
“As families who have faced these very issues in our own lives, we must give Zach and his family the space and privacy they need to deal with this situation,” said Jody Huckaby, PFLAG’s executive director. “We also must insist, as allies and advocates for our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) loved ones, that ‘reparative therapy’ programs are not allowed to prosper unchallenged at the expense of our family members and friends.”
The “reparative therapy” industry uses disproved medical theories to “cure” GLBT persons and preys upon those in pain and confusion about matters of sexual orientation. Their claims have been roundly denounced by the American Medical Association (AMA), American Psychiatric Association (APA) and other medical professionals.
PFLAG applauds greater scrutiny of “reparative therapy”, “conversion therapy” or “ex-gay” programs. Because of the attention surrounding Zach’s story, the Tennessee Department of Health began an investigation and notified the unlicensed Love in Action that it was functioning illegally by claiming to offer therapy and could face prosecution by the district attorney.
Immediately before entering the program, Zach wrote, “I’ve been through hell. I’ve been emotionally torn apart for three days” and “Honestly how could you support a program like this? If I do come out straight I’ll be so mentally unstable and depressed it won’t matter.”
Zach’s fears were well-founded. According to the AMA and APA, “reparative therapy” does not work. But the dangers of these programs are real. At a minimum, those in “reparative therapy” must cope with the emotional damage of being relentlessly badgered with fear tactics and being told to change who they are. At worse they are at risk for self-destructive behavior including suicide.
Mary Lou Wallner and her husband Bob know the damage of “reparative therapy” all too well. Speaking at a recent PFLAG conference in Bothell, Washington, Mary Lou told the audience that her reaction when her daughter came out was based on the teachings of Dr. James Dobson, a leading “reparative therapy” proponent. “I raised my kids on Dobson. I read his books and listened to his radio broadcasts for years. In December of 1988, when she was about 21 years old, my daughter wrote us a letter and told us that she was a lesbian. I flipped out and…the next nine years were pretty stormy. Then in February of 1997, at age 29, she committed suicide.”
“Looking back, I think a lot of it had to do with the way I taught her about homosexuality. I have since come to understand that almost anybody gets depressed if they can’t be who they really are.”
Like the Wallner’s, Zach’s parents and other parents considering “reparative therapy” only want the best for their children. However, PFLAG families and our allies must re-double our efforts to educate about the dangers and alternatives to this soundly discredited “treatment.”
“Ultimately we want Zach to be who he is and we accept whatever decision he makes,” said Dr. Arnold Drake, president of PFLAG Memphis. “We also want Zach and his family to know that we’ve been through this before and we are ready and able to support them.”
Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is the nation’s foremost family-based organization committed to the civil rights of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender persons. Founded in 1973 by mothers and fathers, PFLAG has over 200,000 members and supporters in more than 500 chapters throughout the United States.
As always, gracious and sympathetic without ever losing sight of what’s at stake.
Like the Wallner’s, Zach’s parents and other parents considering “reparative therapy” only want the best for their children.
This is a completely incorrect analysis of the situation. They don’t want the best for their children. They do this silliness primarily because they don’t want to be embarrassed by their children. And they believe that, if their child is discovered to be gay, they believe that they will be embarrassed. I have chatted with more than a few people over the last decade and have figured this out.
This is the same issue as has developed regarding little league baseball, junior football and youth hockey. The parents see themselves living their lives through their children, and, if their children don’t “perform” they (the parents) feel themselves diminished. It’s truly disgusting. Kids just want to have fun. Why don’t the parents let them?
raj,
“I have chatted with more than a few people over the last decade and have figured this out.”
Not exactly the most scientific of methodology.
I think I’ll go with the statement by PFLAG. I suspect they have more insight into the thinking of parents of gay kids.
I have to agree with Timothy. Because I don’t think it is anyone’s perogative to impugn the motivations of anyone’s parents. Having grown up in a very strict fundy community, it is quite reasonable to me that parents might indeed think they are doing what is best for their children, and not care one bit about embarrassment.
As I’ve stated before, it is no more acceptable for Us to make generalizations of Them as it is for Them to make generalizations about Us.
Several issues here. Given that homosexual suicide rates are far higher than heterosexual, it is bogus to imply that an intervention led to a suicide nine years later.
There are well documented dangers to a homosexual lifestyle. Life expectancy is definitely reduced. Depression is far higher. Suicide risk is far higher. Even if someone is attracted to someone of the same sex, that does not mean they must adopt a homosexual lifestyle. Some people are sexually excited by bondage. That does not mean they have to enter that scene either. Some people really enjoy smoking. That does not mean that they have to continue smoking. People can make their own choices.
If one has a loved one who is engaging in any kind of self-destructive behavior, whether it is homosexual lifestyle, morbid obesity, smoking, drugs, etc., especially a minor child, one has a duty to try to intervene. We don’t get upset with a parent who sends his kid to a tough program to get off of drugs.
Just because something attracts us, does not mean that it is good for us, or that our choice should be “affirmed”. We should be discouraged from choices that have negative consequences.
Mike, please post links throught to those “well documented dangers” you are quoting.You are talking nonsense — smoking introduces an addictive chemical mix into your body. Nobody enjoys smoking BEFORE they take it up. Were there a lot of very frustrated nicotine addicts in Europe before the 16th Century??? (Hmmm, imagine being addicted to something that hadn’t even been discovered…)Sexual attraction arises naturally and gradually from within. It is not a drug. It implies nothing about your sexual (or any other) lifestyle, your beliefs not withstanding.
Well, having come from a similar situation, you know, being churched out of a homosexual lifestyle, I totally agree with the stats. For four years, I made myself go to church five times a week and I prayed to God to help me and take these feelings away so I could go back home. I had been kicked out and put down until i didnt know what to do. I heard about those exgay houses and thought I could do it myself. Then when the church disowned me instead of helping me, I attempted suicide. Fortunately, I passed out before I could succeed. I honestly dont think that homosexuality is a choice. For some it may be, but i cant find my on/off switch. 🙂 People make it such a big deal. They acknowledge it, but not enough to offer health benefits or social security to life partners. It’s protested and talked about daily,but is still “unheard of!”. It’s crazy people. Is this the kind of fear I and my family have to deal with all our lives? If so, then I will face my fate with joy, for I will have my love and the happiness I deserve. ( Even if I die 20 years earlier ) *wink*