Exodus International Vice President Randy Thomas has followed President Alan Chambers in apologizing to gays and lesbians:
When Alan Chambers made his apology to the gay community, I couldn’t have been more supportive. I am so proud of my friend and fully agree with what he shared.
I, too, have been taking a personal moral inventory. So many eye-opening experiences have occurred in the past twenty-four months – including the suicide of a beloved friend and former partner this past January. The loss of Michael forced me to face some issues I had not been willing to deal with until that time. And it’s through this process that I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to apologize to the gay community.
Read the full article here.
The problem with Exodus International is that it confused ‘reparative therapy’ and other behavior-modification techniques with the regenerative and transforming power of God that results in conversion and a life of holiness. Their failure and the failure of other such ‘ministries’ is precisely the failure to make this differentiation, or confusing and combining things that differ. I am a man who was same-sex attracted from my earliest sexual awakening and lived a homosexual life until I was about 30 years old. During this time I knew both loving relationships with other males and also unrestrained promiscuity. Then I had a spiritual awakening in which God changed my heart to serve Him. I immediately stopped having gay sex and began a new life of progressive change in my thoughts and desires. Two years after my conversion, I met and married a dear woman. We have 4 daughters (who know about my past) and wonderful grandchildren. So I’ve been ‘ex-gay’ for a long, long time. And there is such a thing as ex-gay!
Sexual orientation may not be a choice, but we are responsible for how we respond to that orientation. After all, contemporary psychology finds all behavior to have a predisposing orientation, but it does not conclude therefore that all such behavior is to be gratified or condoned. Predisposition does not equal predetermination, which is the gist of the gay argument. That argument does not reckon with the transformative power of the grace of God in Jesus Christ. I agree that attempting to accomplish this change by any other means will be a failure, because it is behavioristically focused and cannot change the heart. Only the Spirit of God can do that effectively. And I am living proof of that.
For the sake of transparency, let me note that “Dennis” above has commented extensively here under the nickname “X-Gay Apologist.” Please maintain a single, consistent identity if you wish to comment here.
Dennis, your comments about your life here conflict with those you have made previously under the other moniker. Some of what you said in those previous visits was also quite vile and denigrated an entire demographic without reason. That, combined with your inconsistencies leaves me disinclined to further discuss anything with you. What you describe now is so antithetical to any real-life story or body of data with which I have become acquainted, that it demands extraordinary evidence and not simply the word of an anonymous commenter. In frank terms, I simply don’t believe you.
Mr. Roberts, you have mistaken me for someone else. I do know of X-Gay Apologist and have had some interaction with him because of similar backgrounds. I agree with much that he has said, but not always with his tone. My identity is precisely as described – a man who was once gay but is no longer, not because of behavior modification schemes, but because of the grace of God. And life is easily lived by believing what fits into the world you’ve concocted for yourself. Since I am not welcome here, I leave you to your personal delusions about what is and is not real. Bye.
Randy describes himself, basically, as having been young, passive and naive. He had good intentions, but he allowed himself to be used by others. His own Exodus experience was great – “I never felt pressured to change my same sex orientation” – but some things he’d “communicate differently today,” and some situations he handle differently, like when he learned that “some methods used by some of our local ministries” later caused “hurt and pain.” There are few specifics here, little understanding of the actual impact of their methods, and no particular change of mind. He was inexperienced, and he should have been more gracious.
Randy reserves his strongest language for Living Waters (e.g. manufactured, manipulated, vitriolic, stigmatizing), though he even cushions this – “some people may have felt” manipulated, and he regrets, in retrospect, that websites he built for Andy Comiskey have since been misused. Passive again, and distanced.
Looking back on 20 years of ex-gay ministry, Randy connects the dots of his involvement to some vague “hurt and pain,” but it’s unclear whether he’s actually condemning their methods or understanding their outcomes. What, exactly, is he repenting of?
I’m quite certain that you are one and the same, Dennis, or I would not have said so. There is no need to discuss it, but we do require that you simply maintain the same identity when commenting here. I would agree with your decision to leave, however, as you do not seem to be willing to be honest in your discussion even about the little things, so believing you on the big ones is pretty much out.
That’s pretty good, David. Make accusations and then refuse a discussion. I really am not that X-Gay Apologist guy. You could check IP addresses and verify that. My only point in commenting here was to testify to the fact that ‘gay’ is not an immutable orientation. There are more of us ‘ex-gays’ (I hate the term) out here than you apparently want to acknowledge. But no matter. I know what I was and what I am now, and what anyone thinks about it doesn’t change that.
Dennis. What’s your point? You are now straight, so why bother coming to this site to blather on about your newly found straightness? You’re a free man, buddy! Move on. Let me tell you something. Straight guys don’t give a shít about other guys being gay unless they think they are hitting on them. And some of them don’t even mind that. The point is, if you’re now a straight guy, move on with your life. You’ve got a “dear woman” and “4 daughters” now, so all your dreams have come true. I’ve got a dear man of my own and no daughters so most of my dreams have come true. Let your gay past go, bro. Stop obsessing about the rest of us. We’re fine. Be the straight man of your dreams, Dennis and do what straight guys do: they don’t obsess about other’s gayness. I can assure you, we are not obsessing about yours.
Really.
I did check them, and they are the same. Your credibility is zero, please stop commenting here.
For the benefit of anyone who may not understand my being terse with that commenter, here are one of many comparisons to his comments as X-Gay Apologist last year. Also, as I said above, the IP addresses are identical, as is the anonymous mail service — just the user name in the email is different. His exchanges last year made it obvious that he was not interested in discussion or facts, only in repeating his script. Whatever he was or may be now, it is irrelevant. The one thing he most certainly is here is deceptive.
X-Gay Apologist 7-3-2012
…my wife and I have been sexually faithful throughout our marriage. And we are still having good sex after all these years! We raised four daughters and are now enjoying being grandparents. My wife and our daughters know all about my past…
Dennis 7-23-2013
Two years after my conversion, I met and married a dear woman. We have 4 daughters (who know about my past) and wonderful grandchildren.
I guess we can’t expect a guy who isn’t honest about his own sexuality to be honest about something as simple as sockpuppeting on a blog. Geesh. He needs to get a life. A REAL one.
As for Randy, I couldn’t agree more with Mr. Schuh. This just reeks of someone looking to jump on the apology band wagon and bask in the glow of people’s forgiveness. He doesn’t have to actually repent of past hurts in any specific way, and he gets to go on and form a new ministry as though he were an innocent pawn of it all who has now escaped the grip of something he couldn’t help but be a part of. He still gets to be on the “right side” of it all – now having “found compassion” and “realized his past mistakes” he can be a leader in showing Christians how to be kind to gays, finally!
…except, the “kindness” he calls for is still the same “kindness” exodus claimed to show us back when they were in business: God loves you, but sexuality is “best within the confines of heterosexual monogamous marriage.” Which still leaves gays as “less than best” simply for being gay.
Emily, I think you hit the nail on the head with something I’ve been thinking about and which deeply bothers me. I personally know and have lived and worked with, and gone through ex-gay ministry with some of those who have relatively recently arrived at a point of recanting and apologizing for their former ex-gay position. I understand transitions, and believe me, I understand the conflicts, especially for Christians who fully embraced the promise of”change.” But I still have a very difficult time not feeling betrayed and deeply distrustful of these leaders who seem to have jumped on a very bizarre bandwagon. I know I’ll understand and accept as time goes on.
” I really am not that X-Gay Apologist guy. You could check IP addresses and verify that. My only point in commenting here was to testify to the fact that ‘gay’ is not an immutable orientation. There are more of us ‘ex-gays’ (I hate the term) out here than you apparently want to acknowledge.”
Honey, you’re not ex-gay. you’re bisexual. And you finally found the strength to live the way you think you should. congratulations.
As for the IP address? All that means that if you aren’t exgay apologist, you’re someone who shares a computer and a surprising amount of personal details. those of us who pay attention are well aware that there are groups of people, perhaps volunteers, perhaps paid– who knows– who post constantly under various profiles at lots of blogs, hoping to give the impression that your name is legion. There is one person at huffpost who creates 10 or twelve new profiles every single week. He once even admitted it.
Honesty and the courage of your convictions? I don’t think so.