Reason Magazine, a periodical with a strongly libertarian bent, has an article by Maia Szalavitz that discusses the forebears of ex-gay live-in program Love In Action/Refuge. The focus of the article is on teenage drug rehabilitation programs but some of the tactics will sound very familiar to those who monitor the actions of LIA/R.
But like the drug war itself, tough love programs are ineffective, based on pseudoscience, and rooted in a brutal ideology that produces more harm than most of the problems they are supposedly aimed at addressing. The history of tough love shows how fear consistently trumps data, selling parents and politicians on a product that hurts kids.
And the response to research seems similar
But the research didn’t matter. To both the media and the politicians, anecdote was evidence. The idea that toughness was the answer had a deep appeal to those who saw drug use as sin and punishment as the way to redemption. And Synanon produced testimonials worthy of a revival meeting. Indeed, it eventually recast itself as the “Church of Synanon.”
The article documents one teen who was falsely assumed to be a drug addict
Bradbury, who was not an addict, was nonetheless held. He later described beatings and continuous verbal assaults, which for him centered on sexual abuse he’d suffered as a young boy. Staffers and other participants called him a “faggot,” told him he’d led his abusers on, and forced him to admit “his part” in the abuse.
And the emphasis on confessing failures, real or imagined, is a significant part of recovery
If these “newcomers” didn’t give convincing enough confessions in group sessions, they would not be allowed to “progress” in the program and return to home and school.
Sadly, the methods at these tough-love camps often end up in injury, abuse, or death. Yet they continue, mostly because the promise of hope they provide blinds those who are responsible for the children to the very real risk of damage.
Even today, at least nine programs in the U.S. and Canada still use tactics, such as host homes and “motivating,” that come directly from Straight. Some are run by former Straight employees, sometimes in former Straight buildings. Among them: SAFE in Orlando; Growing Together in Lake Worth, Florida; Kids Helping Kids in Cincinnati; the Phoenix Institute for Adolescents in Marietta, Georgia; Turnabout/Stillwater Academy in Salt Lake City; Pathway Family Center in Detroit; the Alberta Adolescent Recovery Center in Calgary, Alberta; and Love in Action, a program aimed at “curing” homosexual teenagers, located near Memphis.
This article is helpful in understanding the ideas behind ex-gay camps and how they came by their motivations and methods. Viewing them as another form of tough-love control over non-compliant teenagers helps put into perspective why parents would send their children and how they are viewed while at these camps.
And the parents who send their kids to these camps? For the most part, they are uninformed about the absence of evidence supporting tough love programs and often desperate to save their kids from drugs and delinquency. Until we figure out a better balance between the right of parents to place their kids in whatever programs they choose and the right of kids to be free from inappropriate punishment by agents of their parents or the state, the abuse will continue. The shame of it all is that we know hurting kids doesn’t help them.
All this article tells me is just how idiotic and ignorant parents can be when they make decisions for kids and teenagers. They can raise their children in their own fashion, however if they cause them harm in any way, they should be held accountable. Ignorance is never an excuse, and should never be tolerated.
It also strengthens my belief that the state should submit one its reigns of power to the technocratic elite, such as the consensus of the APAs. If that were to occur, they would be good chances that places like LIA/R would be shut down for malpractice.
Just to test the attitudes behind such parents… the article gives a website of a “tough love” group troubledteenprograms.org.
We’re having a few emails at the moment with a young lady — 15, lesbian, very fundy/conserv/evangel background — and thought we’d run through the self-assesment they offer: Does Your Child Need Help?
Now, she’s a perfectly normal 15 year old (even given all the nonsense she’s dealing with from her anti-gay parents and some fellow students at school; and the life-long religious viewpoints she been ever so fortunate to have absorbed). Fairly much what many of “us” have successfully had to deal with at that age.
But we took the survey with the viewpoints we’d surmise the parents to have. So it was “yes” to each of the below:
1. excessive tardies (sic) or absences in school? [her grades are fine, she’s avoiding some nasty individuals by skipping classes. We’ve suggested she not do that…)
2. gotten into trouble at school? [see above]
4. lack of motivation with school or family duties?
6. become defiant when he or she is asked to do something, told “no” or simply doesn’t get his or her way?
8. willing to compromise family values to be accepted?
9. associate with troublemakers or friends who are making poor decisions?
10. withdrawn from family activities and involvement? [she’s attempting to withdraw from the parent’s church, easier said than done…]
11. use crying, guilt, or other forms manipulation to get his or her way? {That ain’t manipulation honey, she’s geninuely upset about what you say to her…]
12. history of lying? [such supportive parents… one wonders why she keeps so much from them]
14. level of substance abuse? b. My child has tried alcohol once or twice on an experimental basis only. [no tobacco, no drugs]
15. maintain an image that is associated with a negative peer culture by their clothing, hairstyle. [She dresses quite normally, rather plainly actually, but they have different ideas.]
20. away from home for more than a few hours without telling you where they were going? [Haven’t we all? A few HOURS??? What sort of fascists are these people!]
24. sexually active? [Not “first base”, but she and the gf did kiss and fumble around. To the parents this is equal to a Roman orgy. She’s completely banned from seeing the gf.]
25. frequenting internet chat rooms, accessing pornography or displaying a preoccupation with sex? [yes — places like PFLAG, GLSEN and ExGayWatch. Pure sex-saturated filth from the depths of the pits of hell, don’t you know?]
What was frightening was the “assessment” we got back…
So… on the mere basis that she is gay, having to deal with the whole coming out things and the anti-gay things in this World, and has rejected the religious lifestyle of her parents they recommended boarding school or residential treatment center!!! Good grief.
Now, we project forward a year. If things continue as they are, without outside support, I don’t doubt she will have undergone counseling by then — and probably therefore been diagnosed with that all-encompassing “depression” and probably have also expressed to the counselor suicide/self-harming ideation. (she is NOT suicidal, we might add). We added in a few more yes… and got…
That is a mind-boggling “assessment” — and all simply because those parents see her blossoming sexuality as nothing less than wilful defiance of them and God.
The Exodus Viewpoint?: such cruel and unwarranted behaviour from the parents would, as Randy Thomas has said, be considered within the realm of “parental rights afforded to the parent’s by the state”.
Aren’t such people meant to be opposed to human cloning?
Ye gods…
My father had a degree in youth psychology and was a juvenile probation officer for twenty years.
A few of his charges saw him as a positive father figure and role model and ended up spending a lot of time with my family.
These boys had burgeoning issues with drug abuse, which didn’t become addiction.
But one of the boys had an alcoholic father, so it was a concern.
This is amazing that sexuality, especially that in young people, is treated this way by LIA/R.
Drug use has definitive RESULTS when a person is in the midst of use, and if it goes unchecked or stopped.
The results of GAY sexuality in no way resemble drug abuse or addiction.
Sexuality ON ANY level that’s treated irresponsibly has the same results in gay or straight, except for pregnancy.
So let’s just say, if gay sexuality hasn’t the organic, acute or long term results that sexuality does, how can one be treated in the same way as the other?
Deprivation from drug use has results too, in ways that deprivation from a healthy sexual life does not.
I am frustrated that the psychiatric and medical community isn’t more aggressive in intervening on behalf of gay teens.
Especially when informing parents on safe sex practices and other mentally and emotionally supportive information.
Treating an apple like and orange will confuse and confound a purpose.
If a professional of any kind confused an apple with an orange, they’d be thrown out and should be for the quacks they are.
NO ONE should get away with this.
And because it involves gay youth, and religious motive, they do.
That’s despicable, and dangerous.
I am SO consulting with the legal scholars I know about this next month.
Been working on it for a long time, but refresh and review in order over this.
Just for the sake of doing it, I took the survey and answered NO to all questions except #9. (For the record, I don’t have any children.)
This was the response I got back. I think a lot of these outfits try to scare the parents into putting kids into a treatment program they don’t need.
—-
Your Child’s Score is: 2
Score Scale
1-8: Moderate Risk
9-18: Borderline Risk
19-34: High Risk
35-66: Very High Risk
1-8: Moderate Risk
Situation: The problems may be resolved by establishing clear rules and being consistent with enforcing those rules with effective consequences. Monitor your child’s behavior carefully know how they are spending their time. You may also want to seek family or individual counseling.
**NOTE** If your child scored as “moderate risk” but you answered “yes” to one of the following questions, you may still need to consider a residential placement: 3, 14d, 14e, 15, 18, 20, 21, 22, 28, 30.
Dangit… I evalutated myself from my High School days and only got a 15 [9-18: Borderline Risk]. Even I wouldn’t have minded being sent off to Costa Rica.
Who pays for this quackery (govt or parents)? How much is a week of “treatment?”
I wonder if Prefered Family Healthcare, Inc. is one of these type groups. It is very popular and located all over Missouri.