Exodus has for years graced the world with an innovative plan for “freedom.”
Exodus was first to offer the world a “Freedom from Homosexuality” campaign. This outreach did not offer exgays freedom from same-sex attraction — but it did (thankfully!) seek to push homosexuals out of schools, jobs, families and churches — and into jail cells where moral misfits belong. Exodus looks forward to the day when exgays will enjoy true freedom from homosexuals.
We at Ex-Gay Watch believe Exodus is being a little timid, however. Why stop at freedom from homosexuals?
Let’s face it: Freedom sucks. And Freedom From Freedom is the answer.
Freedom not only forces us to tolerate people whom God despises, but also asks us to engage in conversation with our neighbors — whom we all know are going to hell.
Freedom forces us to tolerate Christians who aren’t as perfect as we are. Freedom denies us absolute moral authority. It forces us to allow other people to watch TV shows and movies containing sins that are different from ours, and therefore worse than ours. Freedom mocks God every time it stops us from censoring movies made by Hollywood Catholics and Jews — oops, we mean, Hollywood “liberals.”
Freedom rubs our wicked neighbors’ sins in our faces from morning to night.
Freedom forces us to think for ourselves, and just thinking about thinking makes our heads hurt.
Freedom prevents us from handing sovereignty over our lives to our pastor and his second wife and their mysterious benefactor. Worst of all, freedom abandons us to the consequences of our own choices, separating us from the Father who makes a great scapegoat when our abdication of responsibility leads to disaster.
Freedom From Freedom is God’s perfect answer to these problems and many others.
Ask yourself: Are you for God, or against God?
Please support God with a special donation to this campaign today.
(Proceeds from this solicitation will pay for XGW’s evangelical mission to Bora Bora.)