Performance artist Peterson Toscano, who survived a long residency at exgay live-in program Love In Action, reports that another LIA survivor named J has begun blogging about his recovery from the program.
A
Performance artist Peterson Toscano, who survived a long residency at exgay live-in program Love In Action, reports that another LIA survivor named J has begun blogging about his recovery from the program.
I read J’s blog with great interest and have a few suggestions for him. One is that he continue with his studies of psychology which will help enlighten him tremendously on the lies and brainwashing of Love In Actions live in program. I would strongly suggest that J contact the LAMBDA Legal and the ACLU to answer any specific questions he has. I also think it would be wise to gather as many survivors from Love In Action as he can together; along with helping those still in the Love In Action Cult get out and away from it. Strength is often in numbers and through these individuals who are former LIA members he may be able to establish a successful class action law suit against LIA. The suit could be brought against LIA for acting as a psychological and counseling organization without proper licensure, for emotional and psychological abuse as well as holding these young people there against their will.
I commend J for his tremendous courage and challenge him to continue to expose LIA and be very vocal about it. Also (very imporant) he needs to realize that there is a scholarship organization for intellectually promising GLBT youth entitled THE POINT FOUNDATION for which he and any of his friends in LIA, etc. can rely on for support in their education.
Religion can be an extremely volitile and dangerous thing; yet at the same time religious organizations can also be very healing, supportive and build bridges between communities and people. It is when religion is used to create division, to judge and marginalize people that it becomes destructive as it has with far too many Christian groups. People and Churches need to leave the judgement up to the one who is the judge. I believe that any organization that seeks to steel away the free choice and will of an individual is extremely destructive and diabolical.
May God bless J in the future that he will be highly successful with his goals in helping others who have come through the likes of LIA. LIA needs to be held accountable for the lies, the abuse and the fraud they perpetrate.
Originally posted by: kenny
I have not read J’s blog. I just came across this site. There has been some interesting dialogues. I will read J’s blog as well. But in commenting on some of the things Ben posted.
One thing that he said was this…”any organization that seeks to steel away the free choice and will of an individual is extremely destructive and diabolical.” I have a hard time with that statement. Due to the fact that gay organizations are so negative in regards to ex-gay ministry based organizations and I am thinking that your statement just put a stamp on any gay activist organization. I believe that you can choose to be gay or you can choose not to be. That is a choice. If someone decides that they want to go to an ex-gay ministry to seek understanding and help with personal issues that is their right. That person knows what that organization stands for and makes an educated decision to enter into that program or organization. I think if someone leaves the ministry or decides that they are “gay” then so be it. But why then lambaste the organization for what they do? They are just doing what their mission statement says.
In terms of psychology…that refers to the science of behavior and mental processes. It is about critical thinking. I have taken psychology and it has not deterred me away from my walk with God and the wholeness that brings. It is all suggestive thinking.
In terms of nature-nurture issues, since there is no conclusinve information recorded that homosexuality is genetic(nature) and there is more and more information regarding experiencial (nurture)we can formulate that we are not born this way. That our experiences in life particularily when we are in the pre-teen stage effect us in certain ways, and since each person is uniquely different it will effect each one of us differently.
I agree full heartedly with your statement about Religion. Thankfully, I have come to know Christian people who think differently. Who accept me for who I am. A child of God. Who believe what the Bible says as truth. Who do not slam it down my throat but rather, they walk with me in community toward knowing Christ better and living out our faith in Him. We are not here to judge. God is the ultimate Judge and will at the end of days, hold us accountable for everything we say and do. For me, it is denying myself, taking up the cross and following Jesus’ example of how to live. This life is not free of struggles. That is a misconception that a lot of people, especially Religious people think. The key is what you do with that struggle. Do you act out your struggles be it with any issue, gossip, hatred, lying, cheating, adultery, sexual immorality, slander…and the list could go on. We live in a feel good world. Do what feels good. Don’t think…just do! Just a statement that I think about.
kenny,
thank you for posting your thoughts. However, you have some incorrect assumptions:
First, no credible mental health organization claims that sexual orientation is a choice. In fact, most ex-gay groups disavow that claim as well. It seems that you are pretty much alone in believing that “you can choose to be gay or you can choose not to be.”
Second, you state that “That person knows what that organization stands for and makes an educated decision to enter into that program or organization.”
Actually, if you read J’s blog, one of his biggest complaints is that LIA did not tell him that they couldn’t cure his same-sex attraction. They let him think that is what they do and then part way through they changed the objective.
He went in thinking he would become heterosexual. Then he was told that his attraction to guys would fade over time. Then he was finally told that only a few people would have their attraction fade and that most would have no change in their attraction at all but they’d give him tools to live celibate. Then these tools failed. He feels duped.
Our complaint about LIA is that they are not honest with the participants, the media, or anyone else. And until they clean their house of dishonesty, they will continue to disappoint those who go there thinking they will become straight.
Finally, you say “In terms of nature-nurture issues, since there is no conclusinve information recorded that homosexuality is genetic(nature) and there is more and more information regarding experiencial (nurture)we can formulate that we are not born this way.”
You have this exactly backwards. All of the new information seems to suggest a genetic component. The most recent study had to do with the way that chromosomes are deactivated in the cells of mothers of gay children. Then there are the studies relating to twins, to hypothalmus regions in rams, etc. etc.
I encourage you to question whomever told you that “there is more and more information regarding experiencial” factors – that’s just false. I’ve seen no new studies that come to that conclusion.
Do some internet research. Or review the discussions at our site. You’ll find that we do have much discussion from both sides. Dr. Throckmorton is an advocate for reorientation and will post here on scientific studies. I think I can accurately say that even he concludes that some people (younger sons) are born with an inclination towards same-sex sexual orientation – though he believes this is a mutable state.
I briefly reviewed your blog. While you and I may disagree about homosexuality and sin, I’m happy that you are seeking peace with God. If by seeking to diminish your orientation you find peace, I hope that we in no way hinder that process.
But several postings on your site made me feel sorrow for you. It seems that your experiences while living as gay were unhappy for you. You did not experience the joys of a truly monogamous relationship, and this reflects in your view on gay relationships. You did not experience God’s blessing in a Christ-centered church that accepted and respected your orientation, and that has impacted your ideas on how to meet with God.
But I welcome you to continue to participate here at XGW. And I hope that you continue to grow in Spirit, regardless of where your journey leads you.
Kenny said “In terms of nature-nurture issues, since there is no conclusinve information recorded that homosexuality is genetic(nature) and there is more and more information regarding experiencial (nurture)we can formulate that we are not born this way.”
Kenny that is certainly not a valid assumption. To the best of my knowledge there are no scientific studies that suggest being gay is a learned behavior. On the other hand for you to say it is not genetic would require that science have completely determined and understood every last function of the human genome in order to rule out genetics as a cause of gayness. As it currently stands science is a very very long way from a total understanding of the human genome and as such there is clearly no truth to the idea that science has proven there is not a genetic cause.
No one here has substantiated their science claims with references or links to specific studies.
Without substantiation, any science discussion becomes a case of he-said-she-said — well-intended, but not very informative.
Then here are two news articles about such research:
Born gay or made gay?
Born gay? How biology may drive orientation