I have a confession, until Thursday I had failed to properly live out “the homosexual lifestyle.” My gay-card had only been provisional. You see, Thursday I went to The Hollywood Spa. Not that it’s the business of XGW readers but my mother reads this site so I’ll offer this information for that reason; No I didn’t go to “hook up” as the boys say, I went because I’ve never been before and it was something I wanted to see first hand. I once went to a pyramid-scheme meeting just for the life-experience. What does a bathhouse have to do with my own time done as an ex-gay? We’ll get to that.
Before I entered therapy with Joe Nicolosi I had the most painfully boring and predictable white-boy-A&F-XY taste in guys imaginable. I was tragic. Really, I think back and cringe.
A pretty standard part of many ex-gay and reparative therapies is identifying guys I was attracted to and
obsessing “analyzing” what that guy represents. The thinking goes I was not really attracted to the guy himself, I was only attracted to specific qualities in a failing attempt to make up for my own deficiencies.
What ended up happening of course is I picked up all kinds of fun new quirks and fetishes. When you’re looking at guys and failing to figure out why you’re attracted to them your mind is left to explore and come up with some pretty zany things. As a child of the hot skater-boy filled late 90s I couldn’t help but come to terms with my own fondness of puffy white skater shoes. As a side note, I was at my hometown gay bar last night and was thrilled when an acquaintance and I realized we shared this same quirk, “marshmallow shoes” as he calls them. I’ve got plenty of other things guys can do that bring a smile to my face but I’ve made my point and revealed quite enough about myself for one post.
Let’s bring this full-circle back at the bathhouse. Going there reminded me how profoundly boring and ordinary everyone looks when all they’re wearing is a white towel. Fetishes add unexpected fun and variety to sexuality and thank God ex-gay therapy got me to recognize and later appreciate them. However at the Hollywood Spa I saw what it’s like to remove them from the equation. The sex that could be had at The Hollywood Spa was on display in all it’s rawness, unfortunately too often in more ways than one.