How Tony Orlando and Dawn Saved My Life
by Joe Kort, MSW
When I was in middle school, I fell in love with a singing trio that protected me for the rest of my school years. Nowadays, I have to wonder how Tony Orlando and Dawn (hereafter, TOAD became such a strong interest of mine and why I was so obsessed with them —and I do mean obsessed– throughout my young school years.
The 1970s were a time for iron-on decals pressed onto your t-shirts. I went crazy and purchased every TOAD decal and differently-colored shirt I could find and even wore a different one to school every day. My peers—and even some teachers—made fun of me for wearing them. But I wore them proudly. I would tape their audiotape their shows on my tape recorder and listen to them shows over and over at night until I fell asleep. When their albums and records went on sale, I was the first in line to buy them. I became a card-carrying TOAD groupie.
Even back in the 1970s, their biggest fans were adult women and the elderly. In fact, when the group finally reunited in the 1980s after a long break-up, their audiences’ average age was 65 and above. So why was I, a young gay male teenager, so taken with them? They weren’t even gay icons—except that by ironic coincidence, they renamed the second season of their TV show “The Tony Orlando and Dawn Rainbow Hour.” The opening segment to the show featured various rainbows as did the set.
You cannot get gayer than that! But I digress.
After much reflection, I’ve come to realize that at the tender age of 11, my very public, outspoken interest in TOAD drew my peers’ harassment and ridicule off my homosexuality and onto my love of TOAD.
I was laughed at, bullied, spat at, and beaten by my peers,(both male and female—and even some teachers—for being gay. I had effeminate mannerisms and, played only with girls. I was very much a gay little boy, and everyone knew it—even me.
In order to survive their childhood, children unconsciously make decisions on how to adapt to those who care for them—or neglect and abuse them. In my case, I now see, I made an unconscious decision to become obsessed with TOAD—to draw people’s fire toward that and not my homosexuality.. Let them heckle and abuse me over my love of TOAD, but bullying me over my homosexuality was too painful and traumatizing, and too close to my core.
Today I am a proud member of the TOAD fan club and yahoo Web site. Alerts from Yahoo and Google tell me everything that’s going on with them. It’s so much fun watching these three group members—Tony Orlando, Telma Hopkins and Joyce Vincent—sing together, then and now. They’re often criticized for their songs being mostly bubble gum and pop, and that they’re a group for the “older folks.” But say anything you want about this pop group, it will never change that for me, they were my saviors.
Recently they released a DVD of their 1970s TV series and have re-released their albums on CD. Now reunited, they and are coming out (no pun intended) with a Christmas album. I am in TOAD heaven! I cannot get enough, and if they decide to tour, I’m taking the first flight to wherever they perform their first concert together.
Who were your “shield heroes” from childhood and what did they mean to you? What do they mean to you still today? I would love to hear from you through email to tell me your stories to me at joekort@joekort.com.
I loved TOAD too! It’s so funny that you should write about this. I just found a CD with “Knock Three Times” by TOAD on it and I added that to my workout MP3. The one thing I remember about the show was that Dawn’s dresses were Fabulous!
I also wanted to be Robin (from Batman)’s best friend. I also had a crush on Don from Lost in Space. Funny, I never had any crushes on women.
Sinead O’Connor was my first female rock-star crush. Her first CD came out when I was 13. Oh, the hormonal hurricane my baby bi self experienced when her videos and INXS’ (Michael Hutchence!) came on MTV…
I think she appealed to me then because she was angry, and clearly different, and an example of someone who could be successful without having to play the stupid girl games I was failing at. That and she was really freakin’ hot.
Sinead is also the reason I came out at 17. Well, sort of. In a room full of friends, we were watching “Nothing Compares 2 U.” Everyone was saying how pretty she was, what a great singer she was, all that. The girl who would become my best friend blurted out, “I’d do her, man.” I didn’t even think about it–if I did, I wouldn’t have done it. I high-fived her and replied “Hell, yeah!” So we were suddenly out to each other, in front of most of our friends, after years of feeling like we were the only ones. I’d thought I had a secret sin that needed to stay secret to everyone but God; she’d thought she had to wait until she was much older to explore that part of herself. Just knowing we weren’t the only ones helped so much.
And that’s the reason why my wife is tolerant of the fact that I *still* have a crush on Sinead, and honor that crush in my blog’s logo (a nude painting of Sinead from 2003, adapted with lettering.)
Tony Orlando & Dawn? That’s a blast from the past. Knock Three Times? I enjoyed their work. I believe that they went out to Vegas to perform after their popularity seemed to have hit the skids in broadcast radio. They are still around, though. Do a google search. I found this https://www.tonyorlandoonline.com/
I seriously can’t figure this out, though. Being a fan of Tony Orlando & Dawn was supposedly evidence of homosexuality? I suppose I’m about a decade older than you (I was born in 1949) but there was no indication in my college class that there was anything like that. Being a fan of JSBach, was, though.
Jayelle at November 6, 2005 04:01 AM
I’m sure that I’m a lot older than you are. I hesitate to single anyone out, but Motown artists such as Diana Ross (with the Supremes) were some of my favorites from the 1960s. Actually, I liked most of the Motown artists.
What was interesting about Motown is that, for their live performances, they did not just have the performers sing, they would also choreograph the performances. In other words, they were also dance routines.
The 70’s were such strange times. I had several of those celebrity role models, there were no others, so the celebrity filled the void. Here were mine:
Music: Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac, still my favourite band today, nothing came close to listening to my Mac records in my room, I can say I bought them all when they first hit the stores, have been a fan since the first time I heard Rhiannon on the radio. I used to take my records to music class and play it for everyone else, although most wanted to hear Zeppelin or ACDC.
TV: Elizabeth Montgomery on bewitched, but my male hero was definitely Patrick Duffy on Dallas, such a sweet handsome man and I wanted to take Pam’s place so many times :). Strangely enough, I also loved Maude and her long overcoat sweaters. I even dressed up as Maude on Halloween!
All in all, Stevie and Lindsey were my TOAD and still are to this day.
It was not that enjoying TOAD helped others recognize I was gay Raj it was that my outwardly liking them caused my peers to make fun of me for liking them hence taking the focus off my being gay. They stopped teasing me for being gay and started to only tease me for liking TOAD!
Also I LOVED and still do LOVE Diana Ross. She, to me, is my Mommy Queerest! I talk about that in my next book how Diva Worship among gays is about mother love.
Warmly, Joe Kort
I understand, Joe. But in my case, a shield became a doorway. I’m glad you found something that helped you, though! You too, Tim!
I like sixties Motown. And what an interesting point, Raj! Today “singers” like Britney Spears often defend the use of lip-syncing in concerts so they can dance. Your point about Motown demonstrates that this is clearly an excuse.
Sorry–I am totally clueless about TOAD. I hated music and musical figures in the 70s. When I turned 12, I heard punk for the first time, and it saved my life. I had liked no music prior to the moment I heard punk and I swear I heard angels when I put the headphones on to hear a new brand of music. Punk was so queer influenced and continues to be. I know a lot of gay people who went through punk before coming out. Thirty years later, I still am into punk, post-punk, and modern punk. Some things never change (and I still don’t like popular music). I did have a crush on Batman’s Robin and Lost in Space’s Don; however, I was really attrected to the father, John Robinson, because he had one of the biggest bulges on TV. In fact, on the DVD, it shows everything, and I am shocked that it got past the networks because it is huuge.
I was in my firt tour in the Navy when Culture Club — And Boy George — hit the airwaves and MTV. Indicating to my friends that I thought Boy George was cool did the opposite for me. I was teased because my effeminate behavior then identified me as possibly being a cross-dresser or transsexual — like Boy George was perceived to be.
I wonder if trans youth these days are identifying with Antony of Antony and the Johnsons?
Antony and the Johnsons are awesome, but I am surprised if many kids know about them. They are somewhat obscure, unlike Culture Club at the time. Antony is quite beautiful.
Jayelle at November 6, 2005 12:04 PM
I’ve seen retrospectives about Motown on public TV that indicated that the company not only had their artists sing, but also how to dance on stage. They had a corporate style, which was controlled pretty much by Berry Gordy. It was excellent. He knew how to market, and made stars out of more than a few of his artists.
Going upthread a bit, regarding TV people, I’m surprised that Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched) was still on in the 1970s. Bewitched was certainly on in the 1960s, and I watched her then.
My TV heart-throbs when I was a kid were Tommy Rettig who played Jeff on Lassie, Tony Dow who played Wally on Leave It To Beaver and Luke Halpin who played Sandy on the original Flipper series. The original Flipper series was nice because Sandy was displayed shirt-off so often.
I can’t believe I forgot to mention my main man, Paul Micheal Glaser aka Starsky. Now he is just about the sexiest man that ever walked the planet and still is to this day. Those dark curls, tight jeans and leather jacket, if the rest of the family was in the living room, I would literally have to throw a blanket over myself. I loved his cameo in the recent remake, sure wish he was still making movies, what a beautiful man.
Although I was deeply closeted in the 1970’s and early 80’s, ABBA was my to die for fave. Funny, because my straight brothers thought it was horrible, favoring Bachman Turner Overdrive and KISS.
ABBA has become retrochic, and who can forget the $6 Million Dollar Man and, TOM SELLECK!!!!
Although, as a small child I was really into Lawrence Welk, later I think that Madonna and Culture Club were really the “shield” that Joe is talking about. I remember watching Truth or Dare and crying. And Culture Club was the first cassettes I ever owned. I listed to them over and over again on my Sears walkman and knew (and still do!) every word to every song.
For me it was Mork of Mork and Mindy, Robin Williams first professional venture after studying at Julliard. Here was this crazy, hyper alien wearing rainbow suspenders.
Yeah, although I was young, I found him to be the first character on TV in whom I could relate. And he was from another planet!
I think the first show I could relate to as a closeted gay person was the very typical Bewitched.
Samantha had amazing powers and had to keep them a secret all the time.
And never forget Paul Lynde.
Joe,
The shield I had as a kid was almost the opposite. My family was very very religiously conservative and that included not listening to secular music or watching television.
When you don’t know who the Waltons or Sonny and Cher are, the kids actually feel sorry for you. And since my total ignorance was for “religious” reasons and I was raised where religion was respected, no matter how loony, you didn’t pick on someone for something like that.
So I wan’t much picked on, or not more so than anyone else. Any peculiarity in mannerism was just written off as part of being completely socially unaware.
I remember TV icons causing me stress over the same sex attraction I was trying to hide from even myself. I loved watching the partridge family but I could feel David Cassidy making my heart melt and I didn’t want to face it. I’d squirm a little every time he was on the screen.
Ahh, let’s see… Partridge family, Bobby Sherman, John Ritter, John Travolta, Paul Lynde (center square), I remember them all in a very special way.
I don’t remember anything serving as much of a shield though. I was a nerdy bookworm, so I think my reputation as a “brainiack” (hard to believe, huh?) probably shielded me from too many close suspicions of being gay, since nerds weren’t expected to have much of a social life.
I’m not certain if this classifies as my “shield”, but reading the the post above about Lawrence Welk just brought back to mind Tom Netherton. For a stint I buried myself in his recordings and his autobiography. I even tried to copy his style of singing.
I was a huge Carpenters and Olivia Newton-John fan. I was made fun of and still am today. Karen’s voice had a sadness to it that matched the way i felt inside due to my religious upbring.