In case anyone is curious, I’d like to fill you in on how I came to be an XGW contributor. It actually started with a negative review I wrote of XGW over at my own blog, questioning the notion that there is a need for a site such as this. That post initiated a conversation between Mike and me which led me, ultimately, to change my mind: I now firmly believe in the important work of sites like XGW. I think I can speak for Mike in saying that we are here not to bash individual ex-gays, but to call attention to the people pulling the strings behind the Ex-Gay Movement. It is with those people, not with individual ex-gays, that we take issue.
Here’s a portion of that original post:
In my experience, the singular distinguishing feature of ex-gay groups is their ongoing obsession with the gay community. I’ve always considered this obsession with gay people (and the specific focus on gay sex) a manifestation of the generally unhealthy atmosphere that accompanies the ex-gay experience.
I think we can all agree that one salient feature of happy, functional people is that they don’t spend a lot of time obsessing about groups of people they oppose and/or despise. My life is better for not having given much thought to what the ex-gays are up to.
I want to clarify that all of this is still true. I have no issue at all with individual ex-gays: their choices are their own, and those choices do not harm me one bit.
However, I DO have an agenda in writing for XGW, and that is to counter the campaign of misinformation that teaches that conversion to heterosexuality is the only route to happiness for gay people. There are many, many routes to personal happiness. As much as possible, I hope we can try not to judge how each person creates his own path.