The Star, a major newspaper in Malaysia, published a package of stories about exgays on Jan. 12:
Helping homosexual persons resolve long-standing issues
Circumstances may lead to homosexuality
Homosexuality more about politics than biology
Changing sexual orientation through reparative therapy
The series relies almost entirely upon anecdotes from anonymous exgays affiliated with Real Love Ministry, an exgay organization in Malacca that is headed by singer-composer Edmund Lawrence Smith. RLM’s web site says it is an offshoot of Choices Ministry (exgay) of Singapore.
The RLM exgay counseling program consists of a four-step process — re-education, celibacy, dating, and opposite-gender marriage.
While XGW respects the struggles of the individuals (should they, in fact, be real people), the anecdotes in the Star articles and on the RLM web site sadly consist of tired cliches and stereotypes about gender and sexual orientation that most gay people will find trite, unconvincing, and unappealing.
Based upon those stereotypes, the articles then proceed to promote exgay cures. Only one exgay advocate in the articles — Grahame Hazell, founder of Lifeline Ministries in France — is quoted acknowledging that a turn away from homosexuality does not mean a turn to heterosexuality. Where XGW perceives this as a change to asexuality, Hazell insults gay readers by asserting that, in leaving homosexuality, "one achieves wholeness as a person."
The articles neglect to obtain any direct input from reputable medical authorities; instead, they rely heavily upon RLM’s oversimplifications and distortions of the scientific work of Kinsey, Spitzer and others.
The articles also neglect to offer any perspectives from Malaysians who were not helped, or who were harmed, by their participation in exgay programs.
Greetings from Malaysia!
I am Edmund Smith the director of RLM (real love ministry). RLM is an ex-gay organization but surely we are not anti-gay in anyway. We need the pro-gay community to understand that. We are simply available for those (who on their own free will) choose to take the ex-gay path. It is truly human rights if a gay/lesbian chooses to embark into the ex-gay lifestyle. People should give them a freedom of choice to do so. I have embraced the ex-gay lifestyle and I am happy with my life. Nevertheless, I have many good friends who are pro-gays. We choose to agree to disagree and respect each other for who we are. It is my pray that the pro-gay community will come to realize that there is a great difference between ex-gay and anti-gay. Personally, the term “anti-gay” is not in my personal dictionary and surely such a thing will not be tolerated in my household.
Real Love,
Ed
http://www.geckomusic.net/edmundsmith
Yeah, whatever.RLM repeats the same tired old nonsense about poor family relationships, has a 4 season programme to “recover” your “true” self and end up married as the final step… and homosexuality is a sin blah blah blah.Please be honest, you are in exgay ministry because you are anti-gay.And there is also one very easy way to prove you are not anti-gay. Please write to P.M. Abdullah Badawi and ask that he repeal Section 377.(For those unfamiliar, section 377 makes homosexuality illegal in Malaysia with punishment of up to 20 years gaol. You can go to gaol for 2 years for making pro-gay public statements under S.377a. Oh, and the judge may also order you to be flogged.)
Ed,
You say you are not anti-gay. And then you say that you “choose to agree to disagree [with gay people] and respect each other for who we are”.
What are you disagreeing about? The weather?
Somehow I suspect you are disagreeing about whether homosexuality is a sin and whether people “should change”. I suspect the disagreements include things like treatment by the government upto and including marriage rights, or full inclusion in your church.
Gosh. If those are the sort of things you are disagreeing about, I guess that would make you anti-gay.
Any time you seek to differentiate between heterosexual and homosexual persons with regard to rights or treatment, you are anti-gay.
“I don’t hate you, I just want to change you” is anti-gay.
“I like gays, I just don’t think the government should recognize it” is anti-gay.
“I don’t want to hear about what you do in your bedroom [as though I’d tell you], but I’ll show you pictures of my husband and kids” is anti-gay.
“You can be free to do what you want, but no special rights – those are reserve for straights” is anti-gay.