Credibility suffers a bit whenever identity can’t be verified, but this person’s anonymous testimony at GayHealth.com is still worth reading, because it exemplifies a common ex-exgay observation:
Ex-gay ministries often (inadvertently) help gay people accept themselves and live healthier lives.
Nice – thanks for the link – always nice to read things that mirror my own experience. Contrary to those that have been hellishly hurt by ex-gay groups, my experience in one was not horrible, and I think really did help me on my path – although I did not end up as ex-gay.
I did have other negative experiences with other groups and ministries – and would not endorse any ex-gay ministry – but it’s not all evil.
I think for some people it can really put to rest the idea (in Stephen Bennett’s words) “that change is completely possible” – especially when you start meeting people who are part of the curious ex-gay subculture, and who have been attending meetings for 10-15 years or more. Or those say they are ex-gay, have gotten married, but still confess to struggling on a daily basis. Very eye-opening. Or when the leader of a ministry “falls” (as happened to one that I was thinking of attending). It’s all very revealing. And sometimes it’s not an entirely negative part of one’s journey.
My experience of a (less extreme) ex-gay ministry agrees with Annika’s in that “sometimes it’s not an entirely negative part of one’s journey”. It allowed me to work through a number of personal issues and gave space and time to think through things alongside others in the same boat. I am no longer trying to be ‘ex-gay’ and am much more comfortable with myself.
Nevertheless, I would shy at recommending anyone to attend such a ministry, as the motivation for change can often be fuelled by maintaining a malevolant level of inward shame for an orientation that is to all intents and purposes immobile for the vast majority of those attending.
My post was prompted by hearing a gay journalist discuss his short experience in an ex-gay ministry on the radio today. He didn’t manage to last the full two weeks of the course at ‘Love in Action’ in Memphis, but when questioned said he thought that the experience left him “more at ease” about being gay.
The short and revealing interview gives an insight into procedures at this ex-gay ministry; the reasoning why some of the folk were attending (some being teenagers sent there by their parents); and some of the more ludicrous policies to make people less gay (teaching lesbians how to use lipstick).
It can be heard over the next week (to 16th Feb) on BBC radio’s ‘Listen Again’ facility:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/vine/
Thursday 10th Feb edition. Jump forward to 1hr:43min:10sec to the start of the 10 minute interview. Some listener comments can also be heard during the following five minutes of the segment.