Sexual orientation can rarely, if ever, be made to change. Labels can change. Exodus International announces that “change is possible,” but they know that most people hear “sexual orientation change is possible,” while what they really mean is “changing labels is possible.”
It’s a classic ex-gay bait-and-switch. As long as ex-gays talk publicly of “healing,” “transformation” and “change,” while resisting clearer definitions, their audience will hear that they can be cured of their same-sex attractions. Exodus International does little to correct it.
Yesterday, for example, we reported on the Charisma magazine article that held up Exodus President Alan Chambers, his marriage and his family as an example of sexual orientation change. Yet, as we saw, Alan himself has stated that he has to ask God every single day for strength to “deny what comes naturally” to him — his own words.
Now Alan Chambers has added his voice to the homosexuality-themed July issue of Charisma. Following a tiresome retread of arguments exposing the “gay agenda,” by Religious Right leader Louis J Sheldon, Chambers writes a short piece titled, “Identity Matters.” (Scroll down past Sheldon’s screed to see it.) In it, he denounces Christians who accept a “gay identity” while remaining celibate:
Celibacy is the godly option for all single men and women. Yet today, while many Christians with same-sex attractions are choosing celibacy, they’re also opting to keep the gay identity/label. This falls short of God’s best because identity matters. … Twenty years ago when I began my journey out of the gay lifestyle toward holiness, I could’ve simply worked on my sexual urges and opted not to deal with the deeper issues that fueled my desire for sex. I could’ve called myself a celibate gay man and left it at that. But that wouldn’t have taken me far.
Another ubiquitous Exodus tactic — portraying destructive sexual behavior and gay identity/orientation as one and the same.
Chambers, in common with many ex-gays, lived a “gay lifestyle” that was all about sex — promiscuous, risky, anonymous sex. He had problems controlling his own behavior, and now he projects that experience onto all gay men. He imagines that by dealing with the emotions that led to his own unhealthy sexual behavior, he has dealt with his homosexuality. On analysis, however, he hasn’t left behind same-sex attractions. He simply changed the label and is advising others to do the same.
It’s a semantic game that Exodus International and like-minded ex-gay organizations have been playing for the past decade or so, ever since they realized society was moving on and they could no longer claim sexual orientation change outright. Unfortunately for the gay Christians duped into mistaking the fuzzy language for a promise that their fundamental sexual attractions will be reversed, they’ll only discover this long after they’ve taken the bait.
good stuff David
That’s why Exodus is so insistent on using the “gay-identified” label. Identity (labels) matter so much to them because, in the end, that’s all they have to work with. And the tricks they play with the language in order to keep all this in the shadows are downright Orwellian.
i think you hit the nail on the head with this comment, David. I used to think they focused on identity because they just weren’t mature enough to understand most gay people don’t identify as gay as though it is their only way of being (I dont’ know any). But now I see it is tantamount to their relevancy, something which is rapidly disappearing.
This grieves me to no end and its one of the reasons I and others dissociated from the ex-gay movement. I find Alan’s following statement to be incredibly condescending: “I could’ve simply worked on my sexual urges and opted not to deal with the deeper issues that fueled my desire for sex. I could’ve called myself a celibate gay man and left it at that. But that wouldn’t have taken me far.”
Most of those who are celibate (including myself) are simply acknowledging that they still have same-sex attraction. They are just being honest about their reality. But Alan is coming right out and saying that celibacy is not enough. Those who live celibate lives have not dealt “with the deeper issues that fueled [the] desires.” In other words everyone can change their attractions if they try hard enough.
This kind of philosophy is what has led to much despair in people I have seen go through ex-gay ministry. I believe such a message contributes to suicidal ideation because it leaves a person in an impossible situation and forever feeling ashamed before God because they can’t change. If they don’t experience change they aren’t trying hard enough. Its a terrible, terrible treadmill. Such views are damaging to ministry to Christians who are seeking to live faithfully to their convictions on same-sex attraction. He is taking this ministry backward and not forward. I suspect he will eventually sink his own ship.
On another note–in regards to his statement that he wakes up every morning having to deny what is natural. He is not referring to same-sex attraction per se. He is referring to the sinful nature in general. So its taking the quote out of context to use it otherwise. That being said, he still has same-sex attractions but was able to development spousosexuality (or perhaps bisexuality) and seems to think everyone else can too if they just try hard enough. This is a bias I have seen in ex-gays who go on to marry. They can’t seem to understand why everyone cannot experience the same thing–even though they are the minority of those who go through these ministries.
@Karen
This is the quote with more context:
So you’re right that he’s speaking of denying the sinful nature in general; on the other hand, he relates it specifically, in his situation, to his homosexual desires.
Also very condescending is what he says in the article (and has said elsewhere) along the lines that being a gay Christian means your gay identity takes centre stage, and Jesus won’t share the throne with anyone, etc. It’s ridiculously patronizing to assume that just because someone calls themselves gay they make that the central, consuming aspect of their identity. Also smacks of privilege — while no doubt it’s fine to be a married Christian, a conservative Christian, an American Christian or a Protestant Christian, put “gay” in front of that, and suddenly you’re displacing Christ.
Don’t forget Sheldon’s Traditional Values Coalition is a Southern Poverty Law Center-certified anti-gay hate group.
Exodus is a scam, and Alan is the scammer-in-chief. The only reason they get away with it is because they operate under the umbrella of religion, and thus, they enjoy special rights. If cigarette smoking were promoted as Biblically correct, a path to Holiness, and God’s best for His children, do you think we would have the government-mandated Surgeon General’s warnings on the packaging?
I always advise aspiring young scammers that the most profitable lesson they will ever learn is that religion is their best friend.
I have to say, and this will probably sound catty, that Alan looks like he’s in his 50’s, and he’s not yet 40. I guess living an ex-gay life wears on you.
@ Emily: interesting observation!
It probably is taking quite the toll on him.
I just don’t think denying what comes naturally to you (and, invariably what is not at all wrong, or sinful.. i.e. one’s gender attractions) is a healthy way to live.
Those who are trapped in the unhealthy, destructive ex-gay lifestyle need to hear the good news: freedom is possible.
@william………you are sooooooo right. the ex-gay lifestyle can be incredibly destructive……soul destroying actually. Living in denial is damaging emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.