Wendy Gritter, of Ontario-based Christian ministry New Direction, tells bullied kids, “It gets better“:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX9wBaGxVtg
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Wendy Gritter, of Ontario-based Christian ministry New Direction, tells bullied kids, “It gets better“:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX9wBaGxVtg
Had I been the one being bullied and listened to Wendy’s encouraging words I am sure it would help me and give me hope for a bright future.
Wendy, your soft-spoken and compassionate manner is a gift of God…I’d just add that the church needs you and the message you have to share. Thank you for your ability to communicate with the vulnerable and with the church.
I am an “outsider” now….pretty much given up on the church but encounters with people like yourself would make me feel so much better as a believer. Your heart greets my heart with understanding, wisdom, empathy…..there aren’t enough words! Blessings to you, Wendy.
New Direction is still an ex-gay ministry. As such, it is part of the problem.
@Christine
New Direction is not an ex-gay ministry.
Thanks Dave. Came to reply with an identical comment to yours….you beat me to it 🙂
@Christine
I don’t believe that to be the case. What leads you to that conclusion?
I wouldn’t say it is NOT an ex gay ministry. At least from my understanding. It is for those who want to change, AND accepts those who do not want to change. It does both.
But I have not been involved with ND for quite some time. So that may have changed.
Regardless, that is a well articulated video. And i appreciate the spirit for which it was made.
I understand why people might continue to perceive New Direction to be an ex-gay ministry given our history. That would have been an appropriate way to describe the ministry in the mid-eighties through to mid-late nineties. However, with our departure from Exodus in 2008 we made a public statement of the reality that had been emerging internally for some time. We are not focused on nor do we encourage attempts at orientation change in our present interactions with people who seek us out as a ministry. In fact, it has probably been a couple of years since anyone contacting us has even inquired about that.
We meet people where they are at – and seek to be supportive to them in their faith journey in a manner that is consistent with their goals and values. This means in some cases that we are supporting men and women who are living in mixed orientation marriages and desire to stay in those marriages. In other cases, we are supporting people who are single. We are also in relationship with a lot of gay Christians who are open to having a same-sex partner or currently have a same-sex partner. This is a big change from the earlier years of the ministry. But we have continued to feel that God is leading us to be present in people’s lives, where they are, and to simply encourage them in their spiritual journey.
We are also engaged with people who have left the church – who may identify as post-Christian, atheist or agnostic. With these folks and contacts we are simply relationally present, loving and serving as friends. And we hope that as we build these friendships we will be able to model a faith in Christ that is marked by love, respect, and generous spaciousness – where people have room to own for themselves their beliefs and values – including in the area of their sexuality.
In light of this, I think we are earning the right to say that we are no longer an ex-gay ministry.
At first glance I really appreciated the video. But now I question what Wendy is saying with regards to “it gets better” what exactly is being said in this video? What exactly is being said in genderal through ND Ministries? And then second want to ask the question with regards to their bridging ministry and the church. To what are we bridging? Are we bridging the church with those affected by SGA? Because if we are there is a certain per cent of folks including myself are not being represented. So then it begs the question then, are we trying to bridge the church with Pro-Gay theology? Do they really believe that the homosexual lifestyle is sin? I think if we look at the scriptures we see two fundamental truths. First, that the lifestyle is sin. Let’s call it for what it is. It is sin. Second, we’re born into a fallen world and have a natural bent towards sin and therefore all of us are called into a journey towards being transformed into the person God originally intended us to be … that is, let’s call it for what it is, change. Yes, it does get better. Are we soothing people in their pain, brokenness, and wounding or are we saying that the adventure with God is completely and utterly amazing and that as we grow secure in who God created us to be and become more connected and integrated with who we are, with who God created us to be as men and woman in His Image .. then sure, it gets better. It’s gets better when we align our lives up to the word of God and say yes to Jesus and agree with Jesus by taking his hand on a journey that is the ultimate of all journies … the journey towards becoming whole people and yes, experiencing healing, and yes to various degrees change…. it sure does get better and none of us need to live lives in despair thinking that we’re going to drown in our pain and suffering … Jesus lifts us out of that. Another two fold truth … who we are in Christ and who Christ is in us. My friends, it gets better when we say yes to everything that God has for us in totality.
What is SGA when it’s at home? Have I been missing out on something?
What is the homosexual lifestyle? There are as many different possible homosexual lifestyles as there are heterosexual ones.
…
What’s that got to do with being straight or gay?
Well no, not as long as we can get rid of anti-gay bullying and anti-gay attitudes generally.
@Sarah
The purpose of the video was to lend my voice to the “It Gets Better” project which in my understanding is meant for young people (or anyone feeling bullied really) who are needing encouragement that the cruel treatment they are experiencing and the powerlessness they may be feeling won’t last forever. Their lives will get better as they emerge into a new season where they aren’t stuck in highschool and / or can choose to change their environment and surround themselves with people who love and support them unconditionally.
I was bullied as a kid. And it did get better. At the time I never would have imagined the opportunities that are before me today or the circle of friends I enjoy who accept me for who I am and enjoy being with me.
For any kid who feels afraid, alone or hopeless ….. I want them to know that their life too will get better – and they won’t always feel powerless or under the thumb of the bullies in their lives.
Let’s not lose focus on what the purpose of this video is. No one should feel afraid, isolated, hopeless and utterly powerless.
As to the purpose of New Direction, I believe I articulated that in the comment above. We are committed to meeting people where they are at and encouraging them in their spiritual journey. Part of embodying generous spaciousness is acknowledging that there is diversity of perspective in the faith community – with the resultant reality that sexual minorities may choose one of a number of different options to pursue their life goals and values. We have intentionally postured ourselves to not be coercive in an individual’s life – but to respect their autonomy in their journey of integrating their faith and sexuality.
Where we seek to build bridges is to dismantle the hostility, polarity, and mistrust in the faith community as it is confronted with this diversity. It is not our intention to promote and defend a particular position – but to call all parties to remember our shared humanity, find common ground and pursue collaborative goals of hospitality, justice and community.
I find it curious that you find yourself not represented. In the previous comment I posted I spoke about connecting with people who were in mixed orientation marriages, single, or with a gay partner ….. I think that is pretty comprehensive. One might argue that I didn’t say we connect with people in heterosexual marriages …. so I’ll throw that one in too – although it isn’t a common one for us.
In your comment you are pushing for black and white certainty and statements that, I feel, just revert the conversation back to polarized distance. There may be a time and place for such conversations – but it is not the kind of posture to which we feel called. We believe there are points of connection and common ground despite our diversity. And when we find these, and choose humility and a willingness to listen to one another, respect one another and care for one another across our differences, I believe we honour Christ.
It is much simpler to draw the line in the sand, to make the kind of statements that perpetuate “us vs. them”. But if you look at the last 50 plus years of the faith community rather ineffectively engaging sexual minorities – one has to ask what such polarization has accomplished. Many sexual minorities are deeply alienated from the Christian faith – and for very understandable reasons. At New Direction, our priority is to embody the unconditional hospitality of Jesus. Our priority is relationship and reconciliation.
That doesn’t mean that theology and sexual ethics are not important. It simply means that we view questions around ethics and morality as secondary to representing the unconditional and extravagant love of God. We want to share this love in the midst of our diversity – not with the attitude that says “once you agree with us – then we’ll share the love of God with you.”
The diversity in our contexts is not going to disappear any time soon. The question in front of us is “how now shall we live together?” My understanding of the ministry of Jesus is that he broke social stigma and hung out with people who had been excluded on the basis of their gender, ethnicity, religion and sexuality. He is my model – and I want to posture myself in the same places in our diverse and pluralistic context.