Not long ago, the White House issued a picture of Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife holding their new grandchild, Samuel David Cheney. Samuel is the child of the Cheney’s daughter Mary, and her partner, Heather Poe.
As we reported, ex-gay Stephen Bennett was so incensed that the White House would refer to the Cheney’s daughter and her partner as the parents that he issued a press release which stated emphatically that only biological parents were “REAL” parents. [emphasis in original] This prompted a principled rebuke from Exodus president Alan Chambers, the adoptive father of two children, and a less than adult counter comment by Bennett here on XGW.
For his part, Bennett wrote an after the fact post on his blog trying to explain that only same-sex parents were a sinful charade, saying this exonerated him from Chamber’s (and our) claims. He never did explain why this clarification was in an obscure section of his website and not in the press release itself.
Now it appears that Bennett isn’t so convinced of the worth of adoptive parents after all. He has made a similar statement in yesterday’s entry of his blog, the subject of which is the recent same-sex marriage vote in Massachusetts.
The Goodridge lesbians – plantiffs [sic] who started this “gay” marriage mess – broke up an left one another only two years after saying, “I do.”
Obviously — they didn’t and a ten year old girl was left in the wake of these self-centered lesbians’ destruction, while she has a REAL father somewhere, out there.
Just because the government is pandering to the P-Town crowd mentality, real marriage has been degraded and devalued and “playing house” has been elevated to “legal” status.
Again, emphasis on the “REAL” father, i.e. the biological father. Certainly after the ordeal two weeks ago Bennett should be aware of how callous it is for him to keep emphasizing the idea that biological parents are the only “REAL” parents — regardless of his opinion of same-sex relationships.
Bennett also makes sport of the fact that the couple’s relationship ended after two years, calling them “self-centered lesbians” and cracking a sarcastic joke about their vows. No one should have to point out the fact that same-sex couples are not behind the overwhelming popularity of no-fault divorce in this country. Marriages can and do fail, sometimes after only a brief time. It’s unfortunate to say the least, but it is not a gay or lesbian issue.
It’s also false to claim that the Goodridges were only together for two years. They were together for some years before that – obviously they were a committed couple who intended to be married the whole time they were busy suing the state for their rights. We also don’t know how long they were together before that.
In Massachusetts the divorce rate for gay couples closely matches that of heterosexual couples who have been married for the same amount of time. Personally, I’m disappointed: in Denmark, the divorce rate of gay male couples is 1/3 that of heterosexuals.
I don’t like how he attacks a mother for having no problem with lgbt people and hoping one day she faces the decision that one of her children are gay. I thought if you were pro-gay your children are more likely to be accepting of others. Dorothy is having a field day cause she has seen over the rainbow. Black and white is too dull. Let the wedding bell’s ring, it’s good for the economy.
Geez, Stephen. . .be a real Man and get a real JOB. Surely there are companies around who specialize in hiring people who habitually bear false witness.
I hate this cheeky “playing house” line. Who is that supposed to impress?
What? Only a real house if the approved (and blessed) set of genitalia is involved, Stephen?
The religious right is so good at reducing human beings to less than human trivialities.
“Playing house” is the term used by gays who want to denigrate marriage for homosexuals. Funny that it is being used by someone who claims to be pro-marriage.
…..strange bedfellows……
I don’t understand this statement from the same blog entry by SB. Does he really believe persons who support LGBT rights would do otherwise if their own kids turn out gay? I have friends who suggested a ‘Coming Out’ party for their daughter when she in fact came out to them. My own otherwise conservative family is entirely supportive of my same-gender relationship. None of this is unique, and SB knows it. He is writing for his own bigoted audience and only gives them what they already believe.
Rick,
That quote really sickens me. I know the audience to which he’s pandering, and it’s a scary bunch, let me just say.
I think, as much as the actual content of what he says, it’s his catty attitude that causes my skin to crawl. This progressive mother would be most upset about one of her sons being gay (not deciding to be gay) because he’d have to face attitudes like Stephen’s for the rest of his life….and at CHURCH to boot!
I’d so much prefer a gay son who was honest and forthright in his dealings with God and others than a former homosexual like Stephen who appears to try and manipulate God and others for his own gain.
THere are times when I wonder just exactly how familiar Stephen actually is with homosexuality. Sometimes his claims seem to be little more than a straight guy’s stereotyped assumptions.
To Sharon:
My suspicion is that, true to form, people of Bennett’s ilk have always been more concerned with image rather than substance, no matter what dirty little secrets are hidden carefully behind the veneer.
In other words, when you read such rhetoric as “playing house,” it is far more likely a reflection of their own experiences and lives than any knowledge of the people they think they are talking about. I increasingly believe that every bit of the rhetoric spewing forth from these people and these groups is a direct reflection of how they see and live their own lives.
I know this issue has been raised a number of times in the past, but is there any real evidence that Stephen actually lived as an openly gay man for as many years as he has claimed? It seems from statements made here and elsewhere that none of his claims about his supposed decade in Provincetown can be confirmed. How come there is no one from his past who can say, “Oh yes, Stephen was gay, I used to see him at X club or Y restaurant all the time.”
I myself have been out for 13 years now, not that much longer than the time Stephen claims to have been involved in a few serious relationships and a number of hookups. And Los Angeles is a far, far bigger city than Provincetown. Yet, if you did only a little bit of digging, you’d be able to find a number of people here in Los Angeles–from my church, from online, and even, ahem… a few celebrities–who could confirm that I indeed am a gay man, and have lived so openly. I assume Provincetown is much smaller and more provincial, so the search for confirmation should be much easier. Right?
Yet… nothing. None of the people at the bars he frequented, the surviving circle of friends of those who supposedly died of AIDS, his cocaine drug suppliers, his former boyfriends… nothing. Are we to assume that everyone he knew at the time is now dead? Not likely.
I’m beginning to suspect that Stephen Bennett is the Mike Warnke of the ex-gay set, whose testimony about his involvement in Satanism prior to his conversion was completely fabricated. Unfortunately, Cornerstone magazine no longer exists to do another, similar expose, and even if they did, Jesus People USA supports the work of Exodus, so it wouldn’t be in their interests to do such an investigation, anyway. (For those of you unfamiliar with the story I’m referring to, go to Amazon.com and check out the book Selling Satan: The Evangelical Media and the Mike Warnke Scandal.)
Even if Stephen hasn’t gone that far, his statements about homosexuality indicate to me that his “life as a gay man” is considerably embellished, not unlike Anna Paulk’s, whose extent of lesbianism really only amounted to a few emotional crushes.
But that’s just my opinion. I’d be curious to know if Wayne Besen has done any investigating of his own on this.
The Goodriches were together for EIGHTEEN years, prior to their legal marriage in MA. They were only married, sadly for two years.
However, as is true for most of the marriage equality plaintiffs, are SEVERAL different couples who have come to address their respective state supreme courts
They tend to be a microcosm representation
Young couples with children, older couples who have been together for decades, long time couples who have had health crisis that would have been alleviated or helped by marriage, interracial couples, bi national couples.
Bennett couldn’t be bothered to really know or understand the representations that are put before the court.
And I didn’t entertain the thought to thoroughly regarding Bennett’s experience or life as a gay person.
It sounded too pat for me.
It’s like I keep saying…as an ever straight. There is something about ex gays that doesn’t ring as true as it should if they were heterosexual.
No straight men go about asserting their masculinity or sexual orienation the way gay men who WANT to be straight do.
It’s a spontaneous thing…what you are and what you have a talent for…pretty much comes without so much sweat and effort.
Well, sometimes ex gays say it was an effort. But I’m thinking a lot of ex gay mission statements make the journey to being straight easier than what gay life was.
And it’s not.
You go through the same doubts, and dating missteps and sexual incompatibility and body image insecurities, and financial imbalance issues, substance or gambling or porn consumption problems.
I think I’m also bothered by the overselling that being heterosexual is so great and will be taken care of with prayer too.
And the burdens that WOMEN have in religious communities is kept really quiet. Especially the wives of highly visible ministers or religious leaders in their communities.
It’s still part and parcel of the strain on women and homosexuals that some belief systems foment.
In other discussions, the disparagement that gay sex doesn’t produce children, truly is a slam on the infertile, or those who never were married or are too old to conceive.
It is terribly rude and narcissistic to say that ONLY procreation validates a human being, or makes them valuable to society.
But a lot of anti gay discussions go on and on about that.
And it’s in a scolding, hectoring tone, as if gay people didn’t know where babies come from and don’t have the eyes to see how badly a lot of heterosexuals treat their own children.
At least adoptive parents are screened and chosen carefully.
Biological children don’t get to choose their parents, and any knucklehead can procreate….and no matter HOW knuckleheaded, there is no Darwin principle in place that the criminally stupid, neglegent or violent go sterile.
Bennett is showing exactly that kind of behavior I’ve witnessed elsewhere.
I wasn’t too sure what to say to it…..but when someone is so eager to vilify and disparage one group…another will feel the sting.
That’s why this sort of disparagement and hypocrisy can’t be supported and people end up not getting along.
Seems to me that when two “ex”-gays like Steve and Irene get married, they are “playing house” more so than any other couple. My partner and I have been together for almost six years and I think our relationship is probably more real and honest than the Bennett’s ever will be. Hell, at least WE enjoy the intimacy between us.
Whenever I hear about “ex”-gays marrying someone of the opposite sex, I always think of that episode of Will and Grace when Jack and Karen go to that “ex”-gay group. They meet this couple – an extremely fem man and an extremely butch woman – who are married but almost never have sex because “they want to keep it fresh and exciting.”
I believe that what Kevin said to Sharon: “My suspicion is that, true to form, people of Bennett’s ilk have always been more concerned with image rather than substance, no matter what dirty little secrets are hidden carefully behind the veneer,” sums up the “ex”-gay movement perfectly.
“Doesn’t matter what is real, just look the part.”
Jeff: I think of that episode too!!!
(Karen to Jack): “Honey, was that two men or two women?”