In his early movie, Bananas, Woody Allen’s character Fielding Mellish complains:
This trial is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.
The vocabulary has been adapted recently by a Miller Beer ad which spoofs a political debate in which the exasperated candidate has exhausted his time:
Candidate: This whole thing is a travesty and a sham and a mockery! It’s a TRAVISHAMOCKERY!
Moderator: No making up words.
Candidate: Burgleflickle!
(You can watch the commercial here after supplying age information.)
In its press release marking the first same-sex marriages in Massachusetts on Monday, Exodus spokesman Randy Thomas sounds exasperated, too.
- “This is a travesty for the American people…”
- “…legal chaos for years to come…”
- “This mockery also extends to [gays] deluded into thinking homosexual marriage brings fulfillment…”
And he one-ups Donald Rumsfeld’s “body blow” language, saying “the legalization of same-sex marriage is a deathblow to children.”
Alan Chambers suggests that, had gay marriage been available then, he might have married and divorced multiple times during the year and a half in which he lived as an openly gay man.
When it comes time to wrap up its gloomy predictions, though, the press release takes a sudden turn:
If and when the Federal Marriage Amendment passes the resulting state ratification process will lead to truly intelligent debate… When each state legislature debates the ratification of the amendment they will not only shed light on true tolerance for the same sex attracted but will also take back and preserve what marriage has always been.
Years of legal and moral chaos? Nah… intelligent debate!
Deathblow to children? Nah… true tolerance!
Travishamockery? Burgleflickle!
— Steve B.
Awwwww, poor Randy, Alan and James Dobson can’t make a quick buck off of the “threat” of gay marriage anymore and they’re having heart failure. What’s going to motivate the flock to keep sending cash in if the country just shrugs at these new marriages?
I really like their quoting the “American College of Pediatrics” – a group of right-wing doctors who were so appalled that the American Academy of Pediatrics (the actual premiere professional organization for pediatrics) actually came out in favor of gay 2-parent adoptions they felt the neede to band together and promote dubious science for the anti-gay movement.
Oh, and wasn’t last Thursday May 13, 2004?
I think gay marriage should be reserved for nice Christian God-fearing ex-gays like Randie Thomas.
It’s always amusing that the wackos bring out “the children.”
My boyfriend and I don’t have any children, and we don’t plan to. They’re insane if they believe that our marriage would affect children at all.
But, then again, these people are suffering from a mental disorder. That, or a financial deficit. Or maybe both.
Onions, actually, I’m sure your suggestion would suit Randy Thomas just fine — he would like very much to control gay marriage, just as he desires to prevent people from interpreting the Bible in ways contrary to his own beliefs.
He seems not to respect others’ freedom of religion, and he seems either ignorant or dismissive of the conservative Protestant tradition of leaving Biblical interpretation to individuals, trusting in one’s personal relationship with God.
Instead, both Chambers and Thomas advocate a return to the pre-Reformation practice of putting one’s faith and beliefs in the hands of a privileged, powerful, and abusive political autocracy.
Raj, I disagree that Chambers and Thomas suffer from a mental disorder. Are you suggesting people tend to suffer from that which they project onto others? (In other words, ex-gays who blindly accuse others of promiscuity are often the ones living promiscuously. Those who rail about others’ intolerance are sometimes proudly intolerant, themselves.) If so, then Chambers and Thomas have some serious problems, but I’m not sure that a mental disorder would be one of them.
I stand by my original statement. Randy and Alan are simple snake oil salesmen who were unsucessful gays who decided to make a buck on the backs of happy homosexuals everywhere.
They feed on the pain of those who are just coming out and they profit off of the pain of fundy parents who, despite being the best Christians they could ended up with gay kids anyway.
Offering false hope for donations is EXACTLY what Randy and Alan are about and will take whatever contrarian position they feel will bring in the most dollars.
If they truly fear the God they worship or even really believe in him, they’d be doing their work for free.
Believing that the Bible is something other than a book written, edited, managed, translated etc by ordinary people tends to fall into the mental illness of: fetish.
I am a happy homosexual and a very committed Christian. This whole issue of same gender marriage is not about morality, homosexuality or even marriage.
It’s all about man’s religion being exposed for what it is…a big fat hoax. The right in this country is very scared because they are being exposed.
The emperor has no clothes.
What counts in life is a personal RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ not man’s religion!!!
I think Randy Thomas and Alan Chambers would make a cute couple. What really bothers these guys is that they are watching the gay taboo crumble and without society’s condemnation there is really nothing stopping them from marrying men.