Several anti-gay and ex-gay Christian and political groups want to prevent schools from addressing homophobic bullying by name. Day of Truth, sponsored by Exodus International, exists in deliberate opposition to Day of Silence, a day established to address the problem of anti-gay bullying and harassment in schools.
And yet the last few weeks have seen a spate of high-profile teen suicides apparently provoked by homophobic bullying. Billy Lucas, Jaheem Herrera, Seth Walsh and Asher Brown are just a few of the most recent teenagers to kill themselves after being bullied because they were–or people thought they were–gay.
Today, police have identified a body as that of Tyler Clementi, an 18-year-old freshman at Rutgers University, NJ, who threw himself off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate secretly filmed him having gay sex and broadcast it live online. Before his death, he told an internet forum he felt like Dharun Ravi, also 18, was telling the world, “Look at what a fag my roommate is.”
And religious right groups like Focus on the Family continue to deny that addressing homophobia in schools is necessary:
Do you sometimes wonder what century we’re living in that swaths of people would gladly ignore the prejudice and hatred that is leading to the death of these innocent young people?
I must admit that the so called “Christian Group” does make sense about ALL children must be protected. We don’t need to address all the reasons why they are being bullied.
Address the fact that the bully must be stopped. They can not go after the innocent.
@Patsy101
How do you respond to the data presented in the video above which indicates that not addressing the specifics is ineffective? And that information aside, what on earth is the downside to being specific? I don’t hear anyone seriously suggesting that “ALL children” not be protected, so that is not at issue.
Personally, I want all criminal laws to be replaced by a one line mention of the Golden Rule.
Don’t ALL victims of crime deserve to be protected? Having those lists of individual laws gives special treatment to some victims and that’s not fair.
Also, if we got everyone to recite the Golden Rule once in their life, perhaps when they are 10 or 12 or something, all crime would stop.
I might agree, grantdale, as this is a logical conclusion.
however, those who are not only bullied but are committing suicide from such bullying are overwhelmingly people who are gay or are perceived to be gay. So in this case, because such “special attention” is being paid to victims for their perceived sexuality, so too should “special attention” be paid to the reason such victims are victimized at such abnormally high rates.
I’m pretty sure grantdale’s comment was facetious to prove a point. And you are right, it is the logical conclusion to the line of thought illustrated by Patsy’s comment.
Forbidding the teacher or administrator from mentioning the words gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexual, same sex or homosexual when addressing bullying directed at kids who are percieved to be gay gives the explicit message that you can’t really get in trouble for anti-gay bullying. The teachers and administrators are probably going to go out of their way not to address anti-gay bullying under those circumstances, because they have already gotten the message that they won’t be supported if the step in to protect these kids. If a parent complains, the issue won’t be the bully, but the teacher trying to protect this gay kid.
These people aren’t stupid and they do not care about the kids. They want to make sure that adults are going to be hesitant to step forward and intervene to protect these kids from the bullies. They are worse than the school bullies, because they are old enough to know better.
@David Roberts
I think the downside, for the religious groups, is that they believe that fear of homosexuality is a deterrant to being (or becoming) a homosexual. I do not agree–however, this is most likely where the conversations with them must take place. If children are taught that homosexuality is a naturally-occuring condition of life, those who fear it, will likely discover that some of their children are gay.
End of the day, it seems to be a control issue.
My child, a member of the LGBTQ community (for lack of a better descriptor) no longer attends a district high school, but goes to school at a charter “drop-out prevention” program. I know that what he endured in high school was far worse than I suspected, or than he has ever shared with me. When one heinous incident (when he was punished for finally standing up in what had apparently been an ongoing history of bullying, known to and largely ignored by school staff) brought to light the exact nature of what he faced–even in a school that for a time had a GSA–I was ashamed that I had known so little, and that so little had been done.
However, what has been really eye-opening, is the number of other LBGTQ students who attend his current school. Unless and until schools openly confront specifically the issues that drive bullying in the schools, our LGBTQ students are physically, emotionally and psychologially at risk. Every day.
Patsy, these subsequent comments are important in addressing exactly why ALL children who are bullied, isn’t cutting it. It’s NOT specific.
The other forms of bullying are a matter of characteristics that can be shared by the parents or other family members. These are RELATABLE to the educational and religious communities, where homosexuality is not.
Members of ADF, FRC, TVC, Exodus, PFOX and so on, continue to teach and want continued taught, stereotypes about gender, contempt for homosexuality and homosexuals who are open and honest about their orientation. They want it perpetuated that being gay is threatening, dangerous and can be changed.
To say nothing of the assumption that gay people are weak, and deserve to be disciplined, controlled and are not to be trusted.
NONE of which, is true.
It puts a serious onus on the person with the stereotyped behavior these kids are looking for.
So it doesn’t matter if a child IS gay, suspicion and label is enough for that child to be threatened.
And if that child IS gay, or feels he is, he has no refuge at home. Indeed, a gay child is at risk of bullying and abuse at home, as he is elsewhere.
THAT is why ALL bullying isn’t the same and can be addressed the way anti gay bullying MUST be dealt with.
The root here, is resistance to comprehensive and realistic education about homosexuality and gay people that especially contradicts religious belief.
But this is a cowardly dodge. And inconsistent with reality when it comes to educational needs. Because religious teaching in support of the oppression of women, Jews, blacks and so on, is unacceptable. So why the exception when it comes to what to know about gay people?
Segregationists in control of information on blacks?
THAT would be unacceptable, why not so when it comes to the anti gay controlling information and education about gay people?
If it’s anti gay sentiment that’s driving the bullying, especially to THIS result, then it’s got to be talking about homophobia and gay people that has to end it.
The ADF and so on, support kids going to gay kids, and lecturing them about Scripture, converting to religious, non gay behavior.
Would Christians want conversion of their children to Judaism using the same tactics?
Especially when Jews share something in common with gay people as being one of the most hated and mistrusted minorities in human history.
THAT is what changes the dynamic of such an approach by the ADF.
And selective and offensively so, since the ONLY time they do such a thing, is on the very day that young people are demonstrating the lonely silence that threatens and kills kids.
No matter how calmly and intelligently the Christian presented herself, the bottom line is she does not want children to hear that gays and lesbians are healthy, whole, and contributing members of society. She believes that God is going to send gays and lesbians to an eternal fiery hell and that their only chance of being saved is to “believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ” and, of course, give up their homosexual sin. State laws in California anyway are based on reality rather than fundamentalist interpretations of the Bible. Therefore, teachers have an obligation to teach all children, kindergarten on up that gays and lesbians are a normal, healthy, contributing part of society. It’s that simple. We teachers (and I’m an elementary school teacher) must not give in to fear of right-wing fundamentalist Christians. I used to be one so I speak from experience. One cannot reason with someone who knows what God thinks on every subject. After all, who can argue with God? If Christians want their religion taught in schools, they need to teach their own kids at home or organize schooling with other like-minded religious zealots.
Yes Emily, as David said I was facetiously extending the invented reason for opposing anti-bullying programmes into the area of criminal law.
For anything like this to ever work the problems and the solutions need to be clearly stated. “Be nice to everyone” would fail as a catch-all criminal law in the same way it would fail as a workplace expectation or as a school-based anti-bullying programme.
This is because the message isn’t simply being directed at the bully, it is a message also being given to potential victims. It tells the bully their behaviour is unacceptable, but it also tells the victim that they can come forward and find support. The message is twofold, and this is exactly why it needs to be open and clear.
I think it is also telling that this opposition only emerges when sexual orientation or gender expression — real or perceived — is specifically named as being covered. In all the previous years that they’ve had the opportunity, Focus on the Family hasn’t been running a campaign against anti-bullying programmes that mention race, religion, sex or any other characteristic.
I suspect what These People are concerned about has two aspects:
1) they actually do want a certain level of invective to continue to be directed at GLBTQX people. They want a certain level of disapproval to be paraded in public. They falsely assume this will stop people being gay etc, or becoming gay if they are adolescents, but (more importantly) they know it will drive people back into the closet. If they cannot stop everyone being gay, and they know they cannot, they think they can at least compel us to suffer in silence.
2) they are also concerned that they’re own behaviour toward GLBTQX people is increasingly being viewed as bullying and harassment. Who cares what is motivating them, it’s the behaviour and the impact on victims that matters. And we all know where that changing perception could end up… with them being told to stop it.
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@Somebodys mon: thanks for stopping by and adding what you did . I think it is very important that parents whose children have been bullied are able to speak out as well. This bullying doesn’t just hurt the child, but is also a dreadful hurt for their family and friends.
I also wouldn’t be too hard on yourself. You sound as if you have been a wonderful support to your son, and no doubt you would have been a support even earlier if you had only known. Knowing he can turn to you must be an enormous weight off his shoulders.
This is one aspect of anti-gay bullying that makes it unique: it is often directed at young people who feel unable to be open to their family. They may suffer it for years without having anyone to turn to, and (appallingly) often get an extra round of abuse from home when they do finally speak out.
Our best wishes for the future: I hope your son has finally found a school where he can excel, and where he can leave those bullies behind. They are no longer in control of his destiny, and I hope he can see that now.
As the current campaign says, “It does get better”.
Sorry David: has the edit feature been turned off, or have I turned it off? (No doubt it’ll be stoopid me causing the problem!) Normally I do know when to correctly use their and they’re and there …
@grantdale
It’s there but different, the old plugin was not being maintained. You should see a “Modify” link at the lower left of your comment for about 10 minutes after submitting, after which you are unable to change it.
To all LGBT people here,
I am so, so sorry. There’s no excuse for FOF actions. God will never forgive heterosexual evangelicals for what we have done to LGBT people.
John
“I think it is also telling that this opposition only emerges when sexual orientation or gender expression — real or perceived — is specifically named as being covered. ”
This is indeed the issue, grantdal, and patsy, if you are still listening.
Basic homophobia, whether of the hatred variety or the superiority variety, is deeply ingrained in many people. And they will find a way to condone their behaviour, even if that behaviour, if applied to other identifiable groups, is clearly idenifiable for what it is.
It is what enables some so-called christians to tell me that they wouldn’t dream of judguing me, they’re just reporting what they think the bible says on a subject so dear to their hearts that they have convinced themselves is homosexuality, and the clear threat to everything that is holy that the bible says so clearly that homosexuality is. It’s what enables christianists to tell me that they don’t hate me, they love me, but think of me as a formidable threat to their families, children, marriages, freedoms, country, and civilization itself. Really. where’s the hate in that?
I just LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE people who are threats to everything i hold dear.
In short, if you don’t address specifically the issues that people might bully other people, they will find a way to do it, and pretend that this is the exception.
I had another thought. “Let’s just protect all students” and “We don’t need to talk about homophobia and heterosexist (read: wholly imaginary) superiority” is really just another way of trying to enforce the closet without appearing to be a homobgiot.
Soryy– no closets.
I think that the following would be a fair summary of the position of those so-called family advocates who oppose anti-bullying measures:
“We believe that homosexuality, which we prefer to call ‘same-sex attraction’, is bad and unnatural [whatever that’s supposed to mean], and that any expression of it is morally wrong. We’re not happy holding this belief on our own; we demand that everybody else should hold it too. In particular, we’re absolutely horrified at the thought of today’s generation of schoolchildren growing up without the hang-ups that we have, so we’ll go to pretty well any lengths to prevent that from happening. That is our absolute priority in this matter, and it must override all other considerations.
“We don’t, of course, actually want children in school to be bullied because they’re gay or are believed to be gay – or at any rate we wouldn’t positively encourage it – and we agree, of course, that schools have a duty to put a stop to bullying of this kind. Even if we don’t agree, we daren’t say so. But if we were to acknowledge that we know that some children are being bullied because they are (or are believed to be) gay, we would then have to say explicitly that the rule that bullying is wrong for any reason includes bullying anyone because they’re gay. That’s precisely what we don’t want to do. So if we can’t stop the bullying without acknowledging that we know the reason for it, then the bullying will just have to continue. A pity, but there it is.”
I would like to add a word about those who complain that their religious freedom is being eroded. No-one, I would like to think, is a greater champion of religious freedom than I am, but even religious freedom is not absolute. Anyone is at liberty to hold any religious beliefs that they choose (or to hold no religious beliefs at all) and to put them into practice, provided that they don’t adversely affect anyone else. You are perfectly free to believe that human sacrifice to the deity/deities in whom you believe is a good thing, but once you start trying to practise it the law will step in, quite rightly. Some Islamist terrorists may believe that they are doing the will of Allah, but we don’t allow them full rein on the grounds of religious freedom. Similarly, the abuse of gay (or supposedly gay) children and adolescents – be the abuse physical or psychological – cannot be condoned on the grounds of religious freedom.
Well said, well SAID, William!
Focus on the Family does not consider the following to be bullying, hence its refusal to allow schools to classify these actions as forms of bullying:
Calling someone a faggot, a sissy, a queer, or a homo
Damning butch or effeminate classmates/students to hell, and pressuring them to conform
Excluding a gay student from an extracurricular group or sports team through policy, humiliation, or intimidation
Acts of “boys will be boys” hazing — defacing textbooks, supergluing lockers, damaging clothing, threatening gay students in “self-defense,” baiting them with sexually abusive actions
FOTF doesn’t want LGBT youth to be protected because in their view, singling out LGBT youth for harassment isn’t bullying, it’s an act of love intended to silence them and force them to adopt a heterosexual “identity.”
Addressing anti-gay bullying would also make life a lot more bearable for teenaged girls of all orientations. When I was in junior high and high school, sexual harassment was a regular occurrence — it happened pretty much all day, every school day, often right in front of a teacher’s nose. And by harassment, I mean groping, obscene remarks, and rape jokes. Stuff that would be grounds for a lawsuit — or armed self-defense — if it happened to an adult. What do you suppose happened to a girl who raised any sort of objection to this treatment? She got called a dyke, lesbo, etc. From what I hear, nothing’s changed.
And you’d be right, Anon5596
When I was in middle and high school, the time when your body is developing in ways boys’ don’t have to worry about for themselves, but grown men send them the message that what they say, how they say it or act it out, is an entitlement.
If I didn’t fight back, I got hurt by those boys…and the few times I did, I was punished worse than THEY were. My unsympathetic step mother, hated the way I dressed. In baggier oversized clothes that could give me freedom of movement and protection of privacy if I ended up scrapping with someone.
They didn’t have a name for it then, but they do now. And exposing young girls without their knowledge or consent on the internet…OR coercing a girl to expose herself with the threat of abandonment or damage to her in some other way, has taken it all to another level of bad.
And yet, females are still held more accountable than their attackers.
They are questioned more than males…and it’s still hard to have an honest conversation about: entitlement.
Remember the issue with the La crosse team, and the false accusation of rape? The prosecutor was zealous, and rushed to judgement, sure…when it came to this being a CRIMINAL issue.
And once the evidence of it being a false one of RAPE anyway, was revealed, the accuser, rightly was held accountable.
But something else deeper was going on that no one would talk about. That so many young women DO resort to stripping or other sex work to support themselves and end up with mental and emotional problems because or worsened by it.
The jocks, in particular, are practically encouraged to engage in behavior like this where they think this is a healthy entertainment outlet.
That they WERE at risk if any of their friends DID actually assault this woman. It has happened to strippers and prostitutes for that matter. Men thinking women who do this are fair game for rape.
And to some men, ALL females really aren’t PEOPLE, but objectified like the women in the porn they consume without any reciprocity or their own feelings that matter.
It’s another level of essentially, male bullying.
And the time it’s taken for women to make progress in marriage, education, sports and corporations, there is still a foundation of disrespect that can be small to some, such as well, Senator Barbara Boxer said she wanted to be addressed as such. And as it happens, the men on the hill ARE referred that way in formal situations. She was right, but got vilified as petty for it.
How many women Senators have there been at a single time?
Look how long it took to get ANY women in SCOTUS and even then…only three?
And NONE have been black.
Anyway…
The RR and a good many conservatives are feminist bashing as much as gay bashing in the media…so, no…nothing COVERT has changed. That’s for sure.