Political Conservatives will decry “Nanny State” policies – policies involving government regulation – as infringing on personal liberty and inhibiting growth. Since virtually all ex-gays align themselves with conservative Christian politics (in America, this aligns with the Republican Party), one would think these same people would oppose anything approaching a Nanny State. But apparently, placing one’s self in a Nanny State lifestyle is a key for some ex-gays, and a key for everyone employed by Exodus International.
Wayne Besen reported on an ex-gay Anglican priest in Britain whose entire life is monitored by his wife and “others to whom he’s accountable.” The former college drama teacher has a lock on his computer, lest he be tempted to look at pornographic images on the internet. But this hasn’t hampered his career as a professional ex-gay. Touting his own personal “success” as evidence, he is promoting his own line of ex-gay books, CD’s, and tapes.
For people who make a lifestyle out of posting information on the internet, a physical lock on the computer is not practical. That is where Covenant Eyes comes into play, Randy Thomas’ net-nanny of choice. In fact, Exodus International uses it as a whole. He states in his testimony on the CE website:
Technically, I have no clue how they do what they do (not even going to try and figure that mess out)! All I know is that two godly men, whom I trust, check my CE report every week. With a fine tooth comb, they do this. In fact, our whole staff at Exodus is covered by Covenant Eyes, even the straight laced choir lady who does our accounting; she never looks at anything crazy except maybe the (LOL) Cats Blog.
Whatever that technical mumbo jumbo is, it creates a report of every single Internet site I visit. EVERY single site. Not only that, it tracks how many times I have been to that site, length of stay, what time of day I am online, and what I ate for dinner that evening.
(Just kidding about the dinner part.)
The software even breaks down sites into levels of risk and makes the report easy to read. To top it off, it also says “Close Review Recommended” in BIG BRIGHT lettering, if Randy needs to be asked a few questions. I love this service.
Now, I can’t speak for all same-sex attracted people, or all ex-gays. But when I open up my laptop, my first impulse is not to seek out sexually stimulating material. Actually, I’m usually so busy catching up on news, email, and work, that the most recreational thing I do on my computer is play “Minesweeper.” But these ex-gays come off as so sensitive to anything remotely sexual that even a glimpse of a shirtless man will push them “off the ex-gay wagon” as it were. This does not give the impression of a person with a healthy relationship with their natural human sexuality.
To use an analogy: beating back the natural flow of your sexual attractions by avoiding anything that could come off as being remotely sexually suggestive is like capping off a running hose with your thumb. The water doesn’t cease flowing; rather, the force of the water increases as the thumb increases its pressure. The result is instead of a slow predictable steady flow in one direction, there is a high-pressure chaotic spray. The “flow” of one’s sexuality is similar. Capping it off by force won’t make it go away. Instead, it will cause one to act out in unhealthy ways; for example, through anonymous encounters or addiction to pornography.
Randy might talk about treating his online activity very gingerly, but he is a frequent visitor of blogs he will deem “pro-gay” or “containing inappropriate images” (such as beefcake pictures or ads for gay dating services) frequently found on blogs such as The Advocate, Joe My God, and Queerty. I suppose that as long as he knows CE is watching him, he doesn’t feel guilty about visiting blogs that are geared towards people who are comfortable with their sexual attractions.
I highly encourage you to use Covenant Eyes. While it only affects your online activity . . . face it . . . that’s a lot of activity!
Am I right? You know I am right.
With the Exodus blog, a Facebook profile, a personal blog, a Facebook “Fan page” for his personal blog, a Twitter account, a Disqus account, Google Wave, and who knows what else, there is no question Randy is right – that’s a lot of activity.
For what it’s worth, Covenant Eyes is not geared specifically to guys who struggle with gay porn. Porn is an epidemic in our society, and it is a common temptation among straight and gay men. Covenant eyes is a tool to help anyone who is trying to overcome an addiction to pornography. They maintain a blog at
https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/, and you’ll find it is mostly geared towards straight men.
But here is the point:
Covenant Eyes is a service designed to help people overcome an addiction.
Randy Thomas recommends Covenant Eyes for everyone, asking:
As Emily notes, this does not give the impression of someone with a healthy relationship with his own sexuality.
Covenant eyes …
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSF5uQZSAB0&feature=player_embedded, https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/about/)
First of all, “addiction” to pornography might not (full)fill our real needs. Maybe because it does not relate our sex drive to a real responding human give/take type of thing.
(sorry about my limited English)
Anyway…
This whole clip is so shallow.
The flying terms at the beginning and the end – simply catogorized in good and bad – influences the observer in a subtle way.
Also with the “free to…” statements they operate with the fear and shame of men.
In my opinion God can stand all of it expecially the plain truth and desires of our lives. Why shouldn’t he handle the lies and false motives of Christians too?
Whether it is an advertisement or not I do believe that people “struggling” with pornography do have an inner conflict concerning their sexuality in some way.
Marnie Ferree is right, when she compares the “addiction” of pornography with a Maserati on the autobahn.
It will get even worse, when Christians are not allowed to look at their desires. On the bottom line their highly spiritual profession answer is: control, condemn, oppress. And this is called: Freedom of Christ.
At 1:33 Mark Hall says: “The problem is, we look for the way out a little too late”
How true! When it comes to the point where you need Covenant Eyes to “protect” you based on false motives as fear and shame, this is definitely “a little too late”. The problem is not pornography itself and it is not the anonymity of the internet.
Maybe it is something inside us, that never had the chance to live, because of all those protectors who know better. And nobody of us would ever question anything what “God” is saying to certain people. Or shall I say, … what the “Holy Spirit” is saying [us] through the “Word of God”.
I definitely do not make fun of the gospel, because I know what the good news of love, freedom and peace means to me.
Watch the freedom and peace in Brian Doyles eyes when he is talking about “guarding the gates” of his home at 1:01 and its “life changing” issue at 2:15.
Once I was able to face the truth in my life I was able to find peace within me. My motives have changed and that is what feels so free.
“What Christian guy do you know who would not benefit from the Covenant Eyes software program?”
all i can say is….
oh my.
These people fear men (the folks reading their Covenent Eyes report) more than God?
Is their faith in the all-seeing God they profess to believe in actually not so strong?
Emily K. – the use of this kind of “accountability” system (whether via using filtering software or not) is deeply embedded in evangelical/charismatic thinking and practice re. all people. And it’s by no means confined to concerns/control re. sexually-oriented web sites or photos – “accountability” and “accountability partners” and “being accountable” can (often do) encompass all aspects of life in which there might be what’s often termed “habitual sin.”
I know it might seem like that’s beside the point, but with this, I believe that context matters a great deal.
And Randy Thomas’ endorsement of this software is actually a very typical attitude in evangelical circles…
Most of the men I know who use and endorse Covenant Eyes are straight. I don’t use it myself, but I do think it’s a legitimate way to help overcome addictions to pornography. Now, ways in which I think it can be abused in Christian circles, and specifically ex-gay circles, is in situations where the accountability partner isn’t simply looking out for sexually explicit material, but is also trying to stifle freedom of thought by limiting a person’s access to information that is outside of the Evangelical or ex-gay bubble. I have seen that happen before, and it’s not pretty.
The more I read about these people, the more I have Orwell’s “1984” running through my head.
That’s about it for real personal accountability.
Bottom line: these ex-gays who need so much monitoring are still gay.
All this “accountability” lark sounds like a kind of psychological and spiritual bondage to me.
Whatever that technical mumbo jumbo is… the fact remains that Randy Thomas is a big homosexual. A huge one. He’s ex-gay, and he’s a double whopper-sized homosexual. Not even a pentecostal-sized pair of beige pleated slacks and a pentacostally-brass buttoned navy blazer has any hope of containing him.
Despite the reality that (other) cute guys walk across my path each and every day… I’ve managed to get through an 18 year relationship without the need for a physical, electronic or even a psychological chastity belt. Keeping to my word is not difficult.
But then I remember… Randy had “issues” to start with.
If he wasn’t so nasty in his queeny way, I’d almost feel sorry for the poor bastard.
erm, cough, the language hun… you are talking to Americans.