The scene: A birthday dinner for your mother, just you and her, at Olive Garden.
The act: Mom … who is divorced … guilt-trips you for not finding a heterosexual fiance for her to approve, tells you that you haven’t tried hard enough to be sexual with the opposite gender, trivializes your gay relationship, warns you not to explain yourself, and threatens to build a wall between you and your brothers and sisters in order to prevent you from “influencing” them.
Your predicament: What can you possibly say or do in response?
Writer James M. evokes the poignancy of this moment and the pain of two people in a blog article dated last February. In this situation, how would you react? Fight fire with fire, perhaps? How can one cope with a parent who is determined to destroy her family in order to save it?
It seems to me that the fact that one is a relative, even a mother, is not sufficient justification to remain connected to an abusive relationship. I think, had it been me, I would have stood up and said: “When you decide that you can treat me with the same respect as others call. Until then don’t bother.”
I would grieve about it but abuse is abuse. The most important family is the one you create for yourself.