There’s been a great deal of discussion recently at Warren Throckmorton’s site regarding Alan Chambers’ possible retirement of the term “ex-gay.”
Although I didn’t join the discussion, I did start thinking about what the term “ex-gay” entails. Needless to say, ex-gay covers a huge spectrum of experiences. Before we possibly do away with the term, I thought I would contribute something by creating a diagram to capture that wide range of experiences. I felt that a diagram was necessary to recognize that “ex-gay” is an identity commonly associated with a dynamic range of experiences and feelings much like “gay.”
This diagram is by no means a finished work. Most notably there is debate over the claim ex-gays are encouraged to identify as such immediately upon entering a conversion program.
Discuss.
Is this anyting like the new food pyramid? 😉 Because that doesn’t make sense to me, either…
I’m not getting it either. Sorry 🙁 And I even stood on my head to see if made sense the other side up.
I think it’s all about the widening triangle gap on the right, yes?, but just hope I’m not having a numbnut moment.
I never did understand post-modernism.
The diagram doesn’t work for me either. This should be pretty simple:
Some people are attracted to the same sex (gay).
Some are attracted to the opposite sex (straight).
Some are attracted to both (bi-sexual).
Some people are OK with their sexual orientation and some are not.
I think its a diagram of a plan for strenghthening the levees in New Orleans. Dan’s gotten confused between his duties moderating XGW and prepping for his exams.
I’m sorry… but every time I try to understand it, I get an upset tummy and a headache, then I don’t want to have gay sex. Is this some strange methodology to stop gays from having sex?
;~)
Nope….I don’t get it.
It reminds me of those End Times charts from Sunday School.
The endeavor is noble, Daniel, since the term “ex-gay” means different things depending on the the user/hearer. As the chart attempts, any definition would have to include degree of same-gendered sexual attraction (That would address the B.), the degree of peace/angst regarding that attraction, including the degree of comfort with that “identity”.
Ow! I think I hurt my thinking muscle.
Here is what one of EXODUS’s founders (Ms. Kenney) had to say about all of this “ex-gay” stuff:
“EXODUS HAS ALWAYS HAD A PROBLEM WITH DEFINITIONS”.
I think that says it all. If we are going to use a word (which I made up) it should have a clear definition. Otherwise, drop it and use plain English.
If we are going to use a word (which I made up) it should have a clear definition. Otherwise, drop it and use plain English.
and the plain english word is………?
I think the problem with definitions goes to what is discussed on this site – Exodus has hid behind there ambiguities since the very start.
Trouble is, there IS no “plain english word” to replace “ex-gay”. That’s why I made one up!
When I first applied it to myself and first used in in ministry it meant something like: “a Christian who:
(1) believes that ALL homosexual behavior (and any deliberate dwelling on homosexual temptation) is sin and
(2) and who believes that God can and WILL eventually honor his dedication to God by changing his basic sexual attractions from gay to straight — even though some temptations may remain and
(3) who doesn’t want to apply the label “gay” to himself anymore because that would contradict numbers 1 and 2.
But as almost any HONEST “ex-gay” will admit, their sexual orientation (the basic DIRECTION of the sexual urges — either toward the same or opposite sex) does not seem to change very much. One is still essentitally homosexual in attraction, not hetero.
As Joe Dallas of EXODUS admitted, the term means “A Christian with homosexual tendencies who would rather not have those tendencies. It just rolls off the tongue a little easier.” KKLA radio interview, Los Angeles CA 1/25/92.
The phrase “would rather not have” says it all. Sorry Joe, but WISHING does not make anyone “EX” anything — no matter how easily it rolls off your tongue..
Does being gay require any action? Or is it just a preference? I think a preference, without acting on that preference is still gay. So if you don’t act on your preference, but still want to, doesn’t make you ex-gay, it just makes you a man in denial.
Cymale: I suppose that one could refer to homosexuality as a preference. But, I don’t view it that way. Favoring chocolate ice cream over strawberry would be more of a preference.
(OOPS! Now, we’ll get a lot of folks writing in claiming that their favorite ice cream flavor is genetic and there will be a huge on-line debate. Am I an “ex-chocolater” if I still LIKE chocolate but don’t EAT it? Hmmmmm.)
It seems to me that homosexuality is rather like heterosexuality. It is an ongoing erotic and emotional attraction or attachment either to the same sex (homosexuality) or the opposite sex (heterosexuality). EXODUS used to print definitions very similar to these on their official written materials, but decided to remove them for some reason.
Hmmmmmm.
Bisexuals are attracted to both to varying degress. Perhaps they may have more of a “choice” in terms of which of their attracions they like better, which they are in the mood for or which is more readily available on any given night. Can’t really say. I’m not “bi”. That’s another discussion altogether.
These automatice attractions (what scientists call “sexual orientaion”) remain remarkably CONSISTENT — even IF the person doesn’t “like them” or “act” on them — like “Ex-gays”
People who choose to be celibate still have those attractions.
So I think it is more of an internal drive– regardless of how a person behaves. Men in prision may have sex with other men, but that doesn’t necessarily make them homosexual. Gay men (like me) may marry, but it doesn’t make us straight.
I think the word “preference” (at least for most people) implies a choice between a number of different options, as in “I PREFER to take the train, not the bus”.
Sexuality seems to be more automatic, built-in, innate somehow. I’m not saying it “is” — only that it seems to be. Try this: ask any straight man if he “chose” to be attracted to females. NOPE. He will say it that it “just happened”, that it was “natural” for him. Most gay guys will say the same about their feelings. They just ARE.
“Ex-gay” is a suitable contraction of “a gay Christian who believes that ALL homosexual behavior (and any deliberate dwelling on homosexual temptation) is sin”. Ex-gays don’t have to wish they were straight or think that their sexual cravings are more “real” than their spiritual convictions.
Sorry 1630r but you have your conservative theology wrong:
“Ex-gays don’t have to wish they were straight..”
If you believe that heterosexual marriage is God’s plan for all of his children (as is taught), then to be a good ex-gay you have to wish to fulfill His plan.